Messages By: beck12

 My hubby & have had our share of frustrations with him not paying enough attention to me sexually.  I think it all could have been worked out faster had he been more willing to talk about it MUCH earlier on.....but it's water under the bridge now.  I think for some men, stress is a major factor in their sex drive.  When things so well, when her feels he's "got life by the horns" it's great.  When things get bumpy & he is struggling to figure out what to do - he pulls back in EVERY way.  It helps me immensely to be able to recognize this & do what I can to help him destress & it's a big indicator to me that even when he says everything is fine, when he shows less interest, I know he's dealing with some stuff that needs to be talked about - whether he wants to or not.  But after working very hard at all of this - we really have found our way back to a good & satisfying sex life for both of us.... (for those that remember my posts from wayyyyyyyyy back).

My NEW problem is this.....an ugly word to many: miscarriages.  I have had 2.  One in March & now another in August.  I have had my own emotional issues to deal with going through this, but something new is added to our sex life now too.  I am scared of getting pregnant again right now & can't really seem to let go completely now.  It's always in the back of my mind.  Because they are trying to run tests on me now & make sure that there isn't something wrong with me, etc, I cannot be on any form of birth control & we HATE condoms collectively (like I'd rather not have sex than use condoms-they leave me VERY irritated).  Not sure if anyone has any suggestions, but I thought I'd at least ask & see if there was any ideas out there I haven't thought of.  Have any of you tried a diaphragm & how easy are they?  I know what the Dr can tell me - but I know no one that has used one (or at least willing to tell me they have) - I can't think of any other things I could use.  And to be honest I'm not even sure if that is what would fix my preoccupation or if this is just normal after what we've been through & maybe this will take some time & is just part of the emotions.......anway - hope everyone is well & thanks for any input ~ Beck

 Have you thought of other options? Especially because you specifically want a boy - I would consider adoption if that is available at your age (sorry - but I'm not sure).  My sis & her hubby wanted a little girl so badly & they had some complications during her pregnancies, so they adopted from foster care a 1 yr old little girl & it's been great for our entire family.  She is awesome & they couldn't be happier with that choice.  She's now 3 & fantastic & we are all better for having her with us.  Just a thought - because as you well know - you could 3 more & still no girls.  I think it's great to have another if you just want another, but I also know from personal experience that it can be a bit hard at times to be the daughter your father wasn't hoping for.....