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Messages By: ltreed

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confused
April 28, 2007, 9:01 pm CDT

Talking with eyes closed?

What exactly does it mean when people do that?  It unnerves me.  This guy did a lot of that.  I've also noticed my neighbor across the street does that (female) and another neighbor does it too.  (I feel like moving my position each time they do that, to see if it unnerves THEM. LOL)

 

Is that some psychological thing or what?

 
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sad
May 29, 2007, 6:26 am CDT

I know how Melissa feels...

In fact, she inspired me to write to Dr. Phil about my own problem(s) today:

 

I've written quite a few times about one family crisis or another, but now this is my final email.  It's not about and it's all about  those things I've previously written about.  I'm just so depressed about my life and spent the last few days crying when no one is looking. I have a great personality and sense of humor which covers up my real feelings and I'm tired of pretending. I'm now 50 years old and wonder "is this all there is?". I've made wrong choices in men and have 3 children who have paid the consequences of my choices. My weight is also a symptom of those choices. I'm a mess and don't know how to truly change things for the better. I have one daughter from the first husband, age 30 on meth, I have one son, age 18 who was on meds since age 4 and whose father died from drugs and paternal grandparents brainwashing him that I don't care about him. He's moved out with those grandparents just a few weeks ago. I have another son, age 12, who is the love of my life and whose father is my current husband who is another bad choice. He's a good provider, but is absent emotionally from us. I pretend I'm happy, I shop to make myself happy, I eat to make myself happy. I'm NOT happy. I want another life. I want my daughter to know I love her and get off meth, I want my son (even tho he's not a very nice person to me) to know I love him and have always cared about him, I want my youngest to know that I'm a good Mom and I care about ALL my kids.  My Dad cheated on my Mom when I was a kid and they got divorced. I was devastated by my first real boyfriend when he broke up with me, then the 2nd boy in high school who I still love to this very day, broke up with me and then I chose my first husband just for companionship. There hasn't been love involved in my relationships since I was 18. Drugs and alcohol were involved in my first 2 adult relationships, so now I have a husband who doesn't drink or drug but isn't there for me or the kids. He's extremely judgemental and has pushed my 18 year old away since he's been 4 years old. I want a home, a husband who loves me and who really truly cares about me and is my friend. I NEED a friend. I'm tired of choosing men who are beneath me just so that I don't have to worry that they'll leave me. They're not good enough for me, but I feel that I'm not good enough for the one's who could be good enough for me. Oh Dr. Phil, please help me sort this all out. I don't want to grow old and die unhappy and feeling cheated in life.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ya know, there's a lot more to someone's problems than what you see on the TV screen on the show.  Melissa has issues that cause her to feel sad and depressed.  In turn, she eats and pretends to hold everything together.  She needs to get honest with herself and not worry about hurting anyone's feelings now that she's able to talk to Dr. Phil.  He's going to be her lifeline to changing her life.  Like Melissa, I feel that I also have many issues that span many years of heartache.  I *do* acknowledge it, but still don't know how to change it.  I'm overwhelmed and not sure what to do first.  So, I just go on with normal day to day activities and stuff my feelings.  Sometimes, like during the show, all my issues come to a head and I cry and cry, but still I don't know what to do.  Sure, I could go to a therapist, but I want help NOW, not months and months from now after going from session to session. I don't mind going, but I need a gameplan. Every therapist I've ever gone to was too wishy-washy. I know Dr. Phil wouldn't be like that. I need him before everything comes crashing down on me. I feel it.

 

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