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Messages By: murphit

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July 24, 2005, 12:25 am CDT

I know .................

Three years ago my Dad was diagnosed with Myleodysplasia a incurable blood disease, also known as pre-Leukemia. We were all devastated as he was such a strong healthy stable force in our family. I have never come to terms with his illness, and for the past 3 years have been on such a roller coaster of emotions....Elated when he was doing well to being heartbroken when he wasn't. On June 23rd, my Dad peacefully passed away in his bed at home. I am so absolutely devastated by this, and have no idea how to deal with him being gone. No matter how old you are, I am in my late 30's and the mother of two school aged children.....Your parents are still your parents, and I really miss my Dad so much. How do you ever overcome such a loss???
My dad died a year ago with Hep C . He had a blood tranfusion many years ago when they didnt screen the blood. I'm in my late 30's to. Though my dad was never around much growing up. Before he died he spent the last 3years making it up and became a father I craved for all my life. I miss him and I know how hard it is for you. I'm thankful that he was a part of my life and my childrens lives for even just for a short time. I think in time the pain will ease up but just wanted you to know that I know how you are feeling and you arent alone.
 
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July 24, 2005, 2:25 am CDT

your son

hi everyone, i am new to the board..hope you guys can help , my baby boy just left for iraqu.. i want him home
Hi my son was in Iraq for a year. He is out of the Army now for about 2years. I know what you are going through. I live in a small town where there was no support. I found a sight that really help me and I hope you find that it will help you to. http://www.militarymoms.net/ They will never make you feel alone in this and I will be praying for the safe return of your son. Your son is our hero and tell him how proud we are of him and tell him Thank you. I'm here for you anytime you need a friend.
 
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July 24, 2005, 9:55 am CDT

Your Welcome..............

hey thank you, you are the only one to reply. military moms .net is under construction. but you are right they were great when i found out he was going,. ,wish i could just stop crying at the drop of a pin. i guess that will go away as time goes on..thanks again
Its so hard I know. Hang in there!! I had a hard time sleeping and eating , watch the news 24hrs. My son was one of the first troops to go in Iraq making the way for the rest of our troops. I wrote him a letter everyday and though mail was so slow it help me to do that. I sent him pkgs every week though after he came home I recieved most of the letters and pkg back. But at the time it just helped me deal with a son over there. I called the local schools and had them write letters or something for the unit my son was in . I think if I wasnt trying to do something for him that I would of bought a plane ticket and went there myself. I'm here for you and know what you are going through .
 
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July 24, 2005, 10:13 am CDT

depression

What I hate is the fact that other people who have not experienced any kind of mental health problems do not understand people like me whodo not handle every day stress. I get so stressed out that I will cry all day think about suicide as a way out from feeling so stressed. I become nonfunctional. That is why I have had so many jobs and landed in the hospital. And I get the attitude from some people that I can control my bipolar. Well I can take medication, which I do, but when my life starts to get off balance that is just like throwing fuel on a fire and not expect it to to flame up! It upsets me that everyday stress affects me this way, but how do you keep it from happening. Med's help to a certain point, but what to due when the meds don't help? Ya they say exercise, but when you feel so depressed you cant get out of bed, how are you suppose to put workout clothes on and go for a walk or whatever. And when I have gone for a walk to get my mind off things I think more about them walking. What is there to do when you walk but think! Then I have to pretend I'm find around people because they wont understand. Then my husband who is a long haul trucker and only home 4 days a month;I cannot tell him all the time how I feel because it scares him and makes him feel crappy because he cant be here with me. So I'm alone in my depression, since there is no support groups in this crappy town I live in. So I'm trying the best I can do but sometimes it is not good enough.
I wish I could understand more about depression and not being able to snap out of it and go on with your life trying harder. You see my son gets this way and so does my sister. And it seems the harder I try to help them the worse I make it. My son is 21 years old and has been through hell, being in Iraq,married to a cheating wife ,two boys he talks a lot about but never trys to go see them. Jobs he gets and then just quits. He was given meds to help only one night he took almost the whole bottle never going back to see the doctor again. The anger he has and the hate he feels makes me so sad and helpless. When I try to talk to him............cont.
 
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July 24, 2005, 10:21 am CDT

cont.........

I wish I could understand more about depression and not being able to snap out of it and go on with your life trying harder. You see my son gets this way and so does my sister. And it seems the harder I try to help them the worse I make it. My son is 21 years old and has been through hell, being in Iraq,married to a cheating wife ,two boys he talks a lot about but never trys to go see them. Jobs he gets and then just quits. He was given meds to help only one night he took almost the whole bottle never going back to see the doctor again. The anger he has and the hate he feels makes me so sad and helpless. When I try to talk to him............cont.
he says I dont want to talk about it because if I start thinking about everything it will make me crazy. So he holds everything inside and dummy me try to make him see that its okay life will get better and make him try to see the wrong paths he has been taking , to be strong and never give up ... so easy to say I know. If I could take his place I would. If only I could understand and help him. Because I tried everything and he is still right back in the same depression .......almost makes me want to give up. Nothing worse then watching my son so lost.......................
 

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