Quote From: jaimie1974Staying home isnt the free ride that some people seem to think it is! You have a household to run, it doesnt just run itself. Im saying this to you because someone was very callous in their comments to you regarding not having a job, and you DO work; you just dont make a paycheck.
You said you are doing some charity work, that is great! In my experience, doing for others makes me feel good about myself. I hope this is the case for you. If you were to get a job, do it for yourself; not because he is bullying you into it. You know that once you get a job and you are out of the home, he will then be complaining that things are done around the house- so you cant win! Do what is best for you, what feels right- because chances are that he will never be happy.
I agree that staying home to care for the kids and run the house is not like having a day off every day. Frankly, SAHMs rarely get a day off, nor do they get to punch out at 5:00 o'clock.
HOWEVER, having said that, let's get real here. If you don't have enough money, or if control issues connected with who MAKES the money are causing problems, maybe being a SAHM is not the best choice. First of all, there's something to be said for contributing financially to the household. Yes, running the house and caring for the kids is important, but it doesn't pay the mortgage or keep the lights on. Second of all, if it's causing tension in the family because the breadwinner thinks he gets to call the shots, then maybe it's time to reassess.
I think we need to get over this idea that having a SAHM in the house is always the best choice. It's not a panacea, and it needs to be carefully considered in light of everything that's going on in the house. And let's be honest: For plenty of women, it's a whole lot easier to stay home than it is to go out and get a job. I'm sure I'll get slammed for this, but SAHMs seem to have become this untouchable group of self-sacrificing women who can't be criticized, that we should all bow down to. Sorry, I don't buy it. SAHMs are darn lucky to have that choice, and if the truth is, they really can't afford it, or if it's causing tension in the marriage or self-esteem issues with Mom, then don't kid yourself that your children are somehow going to suffer if you go out and get a job and send them to day-care. That's a big lie. Stay home IF you love it and IF you can afford it and IF it's healthy for your marriage. Otherwise, stop complaining and go get a job.