Messages By: choirmouse

  I am married to a cross dresser. I have trouble dealing with this. He didn't tell me this until after our first child was born.  Then it became very difficult to be intimate because once he told me, he was very uninhibited and even took off what I had on and put it on himself during sex so he could climax.  I felt very unsexy, and was devastated.  How can i compete with my clothes? He would then have the guilt attacks and couldn't even face me. We have an understanding now. He has friends who do the same thing and he gets together with them 3-4 times a year.  I just don't want to see him when he is dressed as a woman.  I love him dearly but cannot endure intimacy with him. It is too painful for both of us.  He loves me too and I am sure he is not gay. But I do fear that some day he will decide to truly "cross over".  He says this is not that he wants to change his sex  but that he just feels more comfortable dressed as a woman. Is that possible?  Or is he still suffering from gender confusion? I know I have blinders on but its the best way I know to deal with this.

  Thank you for your response.  My husband and I did go to theraapy.  I have taken a different road.  I allow him to meet with his cd friends.  Its my problem there.  I get physically ill when I think of my husband in heels and a wig let alone be with several others who are cds.  My biggest problem is the fact that i was raped several times before we were married.  He was my hero then and sex at first was great.  Now I cannot tolerate the way he wants to have sex.  I do love him and he knows it.  I will not leave him.  My demands are that he only meet people out of town.  He actually had to leave his job because someone found out that he wears womens underwear and the taunting was too much for him.  I would die and so would he if our children found out.  One is grown the other has mr/dd and could never understand.

  I have to say at this point if he found someone accepting of this I would be devastated but at the same time happy for him and would let him go,  I guess I am a bit crazy.

  Thanks again- Choirmouse