Messages By: wooleylamb

I know exactly how you feel.  When I was young, whenever mom got mad at me (which was often) she'd say "I wish to God you were never born".   I'm 49 and I can still hear those words in my head, just like it was yesterday.  The only good thing that came out of that, was that I made sure I didn't use those words with my kids.  They're all grown up now & I've never used that remark on them, ever!! 

Hang in there kiddo.  Take it one day at a time; one incident at a time.  You have lots of little ones at home & I know how frustrating it can be.  But remember: they are just little kids acting their ages.  They aren't going to be perfect.  They've got lots of growing up to do.  Pick your fights carefully & don't sweat the small stuff.  I hate to sound like a cliche', but it's the truth & it works.  Add a little silliness to your days.  Even today, I sometimes serve a backwards dinner (dessert first; then the main meal).  Or we have dinner for breakfast & breakfast for dinner.   Or make the beds while the kids are still in it.  Try to smooth out the "lumps" & tickle `em.  My kids laughter was like a symphony orchestra.  God bless you for trying so hard to be a good mommy.  Your efforts will not go unrewarded. 

Prader Willi Syndrome is a genetic disorder.  Infants at first don't know how to suckle & have to be taught how to breast or bottle feed.  Once they learn to eat, it's hard for them to stop.  They aren't born with the nerve that tells them they are full & they are born without the gag reflex.   They never feel satiated, & have been known to eat non-edibles as well.  My Brother-in-law was known to eat wood, light bulbs, entire sticks of butter & jars of mayonnaise, to name a few.  He had insulin-dependent diabetes & heart disease.  He had mild mental retardation.  He graduated high school in a special education class, but was never able to be gainfully employed.  His skeletal structure was large boned, but short instead of long.  He was also morbidly obese, & died of heart disease in his mid 40's.  It's extremely rare & there is no cure.  Successful households have locks on refrigerators, freezers & pantry cabinets.   But don't be fooled.  If they want it bad enough, PWS's can find food in the most unlikely places.  But locks do help. 

I couldn't agree more.  You gotta laugh to keep from crying.  As a Christian, I know God gives me specific skills for specific tasks.  Sometimes I don't always know what that is, but the purpose eventually comes to light.  I don't always like the task asked of me, but who am I to say "NO"?    I am so sad for my mother-in-law.  She had such a difficult life & didn't quite understand "why me"?  But she did the best she could with what she had at the time, and believe me....in the 1950's there wasn't a whole lot of protocol going around.  Her mother constantly reminded her that her conception was not only an accident, but that she was also a living abortion.  Fast forward to marriage at age 16, and 5 childbirths in rapid succession left her with:
 

1. Son#1 born in 1951 with Prader-Willi Syndrome & Freulich Syndrome.
   
2. Daughter#1 born in 1952 with extra fingers, toes & a brain tumor on her optic nerve.  She died in 1953 at 9 months old during unsuccessful brain surgery.
   
3. Son#2 born in 1954 with extra fingers, toes & cerebral palsy.
   
4. Son#3 born in 1955 physically normal, but gay (I'm not going there).
   
5. Son#4 born in 1957 physically normal (my ex-husband).
   
6. Mother died in November 1979 of long term terminal cancer.
   
7. Husband died in Jan 1980 at age 51of complications suffered in a fall that left him quadriplegic for 6 weeks.
   
8. Son#1 died in the summer of 1996 of heart disease brought on by Prader-Willi Syndrome.
   
9. Mother-in-law died in 2001 of no known cause.
   

We never know what's next in our lives.  But I agree that not only should we live the golden rule, but help out where ever we can.  It's not going to kill us to babysit once in a while so that any parent (single or otherwise) of a child with lifelong health challenges can have a break.  I thank God everyday for the life he's given me & the things that he's shown me.  Now it's time to pay it forward.  Thank you for writing.  I'll keep you in my prayers too.
 

Do you think that you & your sister will seek help for this problem?  I hope so, because I don't want you to miss out on a really great relationship with your sister.  I have 2 sisters for whom I am extremely thankful.  We aren't twins, but my older sister has fraternal twin daughters.  They are as different as night & day, & we love them for it. 

My sisters are so special to me.  My older sister let me ride on her coat tails in high school.  I wanted to do everything that she could do, & she encouraged me, supporting me all the way.  I discovered a few things that she did that I couldn't do, such as powder puff football & a survival hike with the California Conservation Corp in Koosharem, Utah.   I was so bad in sports, that I actually shot myself in archery (that's a story for another day).  Fast forward 32 years & she hasn't changed a bit.  I love her bunches & bunches.  I have scads of stories I could tell you about her, but I'll save them for another day. 

My younger sister is the practical, no nonsense type.  She's not afraid to tell you the truth.  She can untangle the stickiest messes I've made at times in my life.  She can really cut to the chase.  She the most generous, sweet hearted person I've ever known & I love her lots.  I have scads of stories to tell about her as well, but I'll save them for another day too.  Maybe I should write a book. 

I want you & your sister to have this same kind of unconditional love.  Cut out the competitional crap & start creating some love & sharing with each other.  Don't let time & ill will pass you by.  It's not too late.  I would really love to see you two get the help you need & then come back on the show so we can see & share in the progress you've made.  And this time, just be yourselves.  Just show your own true colors.  I feel confident that you can turn this situation around in a relatively short period of time.  Please don't waste another day.  I'll be keeping an eye on you.  : ) 

Maybe people should have their medical information & social security numbers tattooed somewhere on their body.  That would eliminate the confusion over misplaced I.D. cards.  

Just kidding.  It was only an idea, albeit not a serious one.  I just couldn't resist lightening the mood a little.  

I was in the studio audience for the taping of the tattoo part of this show.  I know it was edited for brevity, but it stayed pretty true to form; although there was more emphasis on the mother's double standards.  She threatened to kick her 22 year old (not a teenager) daughter out of the house if she got one more tattoo, when all along the mother hide the fact that she had a tattoo of her own, and Dr.Phil made her fess up to her double standard.   

After the show, Dr.Phil came back on stage & took questions from the audience.  Almost all the people chosen to speak, had negative or regretful comments regarding tattoos.  I couldn't stand it another minute, so I raised my hand & Dr.Phil called on me.  I stood right up & stated that I was 49 years old & just got my first tattoo.  Finally, all the "tattooed & proud of it" people in the audience, came out of their shells & applauded.   

My younger son had wanted a tattoo in his early teens.  My ex-husband & I told him that he had to met 3 criteria before getting a tattoo:   

1.  He had to wait until he was 18.   

2.  He had to get straight A's in school.   

3.  He had to save his allowance & gift money to pay for the tattoo himself.   

We didn't think he could meet criteria #2 because of his ADHD, but he sure fooled us.  It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but he was so proud of his report card, that we didn't dare renege on our agreement.   

Being that my ex-husband hates needles, I was the one who took our son for his first, tasteful tattoo.  We got so caught up in the mother/son bonding moment, that my son suggested that I get a tattoo also.  I don't know what I was thinking, but I went ahead & got a tattoo of a cute little "wooley" lamb (in honor of my last name) with a little red heart.  It's on my upper left arm, & is only visible if I wear sleeveless blouses (which is never).  It's not that I'm embarrassed about the tattoo.  I just don't like how my arms look in a sleeveless top.   

I'm now 50 & I've added 2 little ladybug tattoos, one on each side of the wooley-lamb.  I'm having my son's names tattooed under each ladybug (because we all know that the red ladybugs are no ladies) & I'm going to add "Wilden Wooley" above & below the lamb.  These are the only tattoos I'm ever going to get, & yes....I'm very proud of them, & both of my sons, who are now 20 & 22.  By the way, my older son has no desire to get a tattoo & that's ok too.