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November 27, 2007, 1:50 pm PST

Been there, done that

I've had one of the worst Mother-in-laws known to mankind,

but, because she gave birth to my wonderful husband, I would

never even think of depriving her of attending her son's wedding.

 

That is a moment in time that will never be duplicated.

My Mother-in-law changed when I consistently treated her well.

It's a very difficult thing for a Mother to let go of a child she has

been with all of her life.

 

With the recent changes in the Mother, however, the controlling

nature of the son's wife is very apparent.

 

 
February 20, 2008, 7:34 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Dr. Phil called it right on the head when he said the husband is Narcissist. 

Once you've witnessed one in operation, you'll never forget them,

and you'll run as fast and as far away from the next one as you possibly can. 

Good call, Dr. Phil!

 
February 20, 2008, 7:38 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: heatherfall

I can sypathize with Karen.  I to was married to a man just like that.  He told me when I could go somewhere, how to dress, how I should wear my hair/make-up etc.  He controlled my every move.  In retrospect, it was wrong to allow him so much power, but at 17 with a small child, you feel as though you don't have options. 

His power disappears when you realize that you deserve better and leave.  However, when there are children involved, it is easier said than done. 

I firmly believe in the motto, "It is better to be happy and alone, then miserable with another".  The kids in the long run will be better off with a set of divorced parents then with a set of miserable together parents.  After he can't break Karen anymore, this monster will turn his focus on his children.  Dr. Phil is right, they will end up growing up broken. 

There are plenty of resources to start over for people escaping abuse.  It is NO different then if he were to physically beat her.  There just isn't any bruises.  Karen needs to be strong, get help, get support, and make him move out.  The kids and Karen deserve the house. 

Why if she is working isn't she putting her paycheck into an account owned only by her.  It is HER paycheck.  She can still contribute to the house, by giving him the portion needed for bills. 

But in the end, SHE NEEDS TO RUN FAR FAR AWAY.  Once an abuser, always an abuser.

Abuse can be as incidious like a frog sitting in a pot of water with a fire under it.

The frog doesn't notice until it's boiling, then it might be too late.

Counseling for these two is necessary because Narcissists and passive/aggressive

personalities are all about manipulating the mental health professional.

Being in counseling with them is like all three, husband, wife and mental health professional

taking a swift ride in a blender.

 
February 20, 2008, 7:46 pm PST

02/15 Living on a Prayer

Quote From: christab

I hope someone steps in on behalf of the children and take them out of that "home" and then charge those parents with neglect and abuse.   Those parents might end up killing those children because their "God" told them they need to be saved.

 

Why are those people allowed to live like that...WITH children?

That was my main thought, too.

God forbid those children suffer any more.

I've believed God for a lot of things in my life, but it's

obvious that what that husband/father is doing doesn't

line up with the bible.

 

 
February 21, 2008, 3:06 pm PST

You've got that right!

Quote From: sandijerce

Karen I am glad Dr. Phil is getting you individual counseling. While you do need it your husband NEEDS it. He has a disorder that needs years of help and he probably won't stick with it that long. The fact that he truly believes that he is right and it is your problem shows that he won't stick with it. Why would he Karen when in his mind it isn't him that really needs to change?  Karen when you are making your decision on whether to stay with him just think of these other two people who also were narcissistic...... Ted Bundy and OJ Simpson.  Enough said.

 Scott Peterson, Drew Peterson

My brother is a true Narcissist.

When the chips are down he threatens to commit suicide with a gun.

His wife is too stupid to get out.  I suspect that one day she'll "disappear".

 
February 21, 2008, 3:34 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: asktunes

I was so angry at this man it took all my strength not to hurl my mug of tea at the TV. But I was impressed with Dr. Phil's analysis of this man as being narcissistic. My father in law has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This is a mental illness whereby someone needs to delude themselves 24/7, to puff themselves up, or else they may commit suicide. There's no reasoning with someone with this disorder, for their brain's genuinely screw up reality in their favor. This is why the man could so boldly declare all the awful things he'd done to his wife without a hint of contrition or remorse. His brain justified the things he had said & done, to match up with his version of reality. It was only as the show progressed & he realized that he wasn't in favor with the audience or Dr Phil that he showed any kind of remorse. But it wasn't true remorse. The important thing in his mind is to be liked & respected & he will automatically say what he has to. If he can't get away with saying certain things, he'll say something else. People with NPD are arrogant & will only associate with people they believe "worthy" of them, yet like Dr Phil pointed out, at the root of this condition is total, complete insecurity. My father in law abuses me when I'm around him. He's endangered my life, yelled at me in restaurants, belittled me, put me down repeatedly. When my husband confronted him my FIL refused to apologize & even went so far as to say that the events didn't even happen! He's a very sick man. My husband & I haven't visited with him now in almost a year & I dont care if I ever see him again. Here's the punch line: my father in law is....a psychologist! So be careful who your mental health providers are. Check their background if possible.

 

Amen!

For those of you who watched the show and were blown away at the audacity of the Narcissistic husband, take a good long look and listen very carefully to what he had to say.

This truly is the face of mental illness, NPD.  Beware.

 
February 21, 2008, 3:38 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: colorbee

Rick, is that his name???  I believe that he sincerely wanted help from Dr. Phil.  I think he came on to see what it is that he's doing wrong that won't make his wife ms. perfect.  He just needed advice on how to get her to clean, lose weight and be his fantasy.  He really believed himself and his sincerity of all he has done.  The world just doesn't understand that she just doesn't get it.  He believes in her to be perfect and he just wishes she would see all his good intentions behind his "help" he's giving her.  He does it all or it doesn't get done.  He loses weight, he cleans the house to show her the way.  He only looks at other women because he doesn't have a wife he lusts after - she could fix that.  She could do so many things & then they would have the perfect marriage. 

But in effort to be "trying" at this marriage he will whine about his job, his life, him.  He'd have a pity party about how certain things just aren't the way he expected it to be.  He'd start to tell the sad story of his childhood, his crushed dreams and think he's being intimate with her.  He'd just give up in disgust that he tries to open up to her and she's a witch.  If she could just appreciate all that he does, all that he's given.  He might even shed a tear or two at his sincerity of not being all that he wants to be.  He'll be humbled, so to speak.  And what a cold hearted person she is for not trying.  She should think about the kids, their life, their history.   He just wants the best for her, for them.  He wants the family that he never had or had or wished he had doesn't she share his dream?  Tears will fall as he tries to open up.

Don't mind her.  She's just lonely and sad because she wallows in self pity according to him.  She has her friends, kids & family and job to keep the pain at a distance.  She'll not be a woman struggling out there with all of the responsibilities on her shoulders.  At least she doesn't have a huge financial worry on top of all of this.  Besides she's pretty incompetent by now anyways.  And she doesn't want pity from those that will see.  And it's gotta take a lot of strength to start completely over.

You have to leave in the middle of night and you have to leave with nothing - at least that's what you say.  They are so mean when they want to be.  So you'll show him and the world you do have a backbone.  Only he has it held hostage in the closet of his mind and he'll beat you with it verbally if that's what it takes. 

Yeah this fella wanted help.  He wanted to be told he's entitled to what he wants in this world.  He only listens to half the messages about postive thoughts, good thoughts, he listens to how someone should love and just can't get it that he isn't loved that way.  Oh Dr. Phil please help he see, it's his world we are just in it.

I clearly heard him say that he came on the show so his wife could get the help she needed.

 

Narcissists set the bar so high that no one can meet it,

and they just keep moving it higher and higher.

In the end, you get nothing of value from them. 

They are heartless, "empathy impaired", lacking true empathy and consideration

for anyone but themselves.  They are virtually without a soul.

 
February 21, 2008, 3:56 pm PST

02/21 Family Court Battles

Quote From: manofgoods

I wouldn't really depend on the lie detector tests. Most of them are unreliable, & aren't even admissible in court.

 

I do have to say that Rita needs to stop what she's doing, & get her act together, if she really cares about Koal. Wonder why she didn't fight for those other grandchildren if she really is concerned for their safety? Hmmm...

 

I just hope that Lisa can move on from this situation, & protect Koal at all costs!

I'm familiar with the kind of polygraphing that is used on the show.

I'm trained in it as well.  It is very reliable.

While you're correct in stating that is not admissible in court,

unless someone brings up the existance of the polygraph test,

that does not diminish it's reliability.

 

For me, the real issue was the fact that the grandmother had a "relationship"

with the daughter's 18 yr old male acquaintance.  That's pedophilia.

Then there was the issue of her youngest son still sleeping in her bed at the

age of 15.  Another big red flag.

Seems to me that the digital polygraph may have proven to be a very

valuable tool in this case.

As for Gloria Alred,,,pfffft! 

 
February 21, 2008, 4:06 pm PST

02/21 Family Court Battles

Quote From: beadinmom

 Different states have different laws concerning grandparent rights. I only wish the judge in their case could have heard the transcript of this show, especially when the grandmother made the comment about how Cole is always welcome in her bed! Major red flags going off there. I'm not saying the mother was perfect, but I still believe PARENTS should have the final say about their children until they reach legal age. This grandmother was far too passionate about putting her needs ahead of the young boy's. Cole didn't sound confused...he sounded fairly articulate to me.  It is almost like a divorce situation, where the kid is shuffled from one home to the next. That is NOT GOOD. LEAVE HIM ALONE!

I heard her say it loud and clear that the grandson was always welcome in her bed.

 

Along with the inappropriate sexual relationship she formed with her daughter's "friend",

and her youngest son still sleeping in her bed at age 15!!!

Hello!!!

Something seriously wrong with this woman!

 
February 22, 2008, 9:30 am PST

LOL

Quote From: miguel3074

They said they had surveillance etc - time to take Rita public and expose her for what she is - make her a public laughing stock and have everyone watch her every move.  You could even have StopRita.com and follow her antics - something has to expose this woman for the idiot she is and the damage she is causing to that poor family.  Intrude on her life the very way she has done to her family - unfortunately she has money to do it - so let it the public sensor her.

By showing up for the show, Rita has done just that!

You can bet her community members are going to be keeping

an eye on that bugger and reporting it all to the daughter.

 

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