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Messages By: fthayer

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August 4, 2005, 9:31 am CDT

Brad is a selfish jerk

I find it rather astonishing that Brad remains married. If Brad is such a sex maniac, then why not have sex with his wife all the time? Once Brad got married, he made a vow not to be dishonourable to his wife. Having just cheated once on her is bad enough. But with 19 other woman????? It's totally dispicable behavior. Brad is neither deserving of Michele nor the other woman. He needs to isolate himeself as the problem and deal with it by himself. Sara and her own husband need to distance themselves as far away from Brad as possible to deal with their own damage. It may not sound so humane to ostracize Brad but after going through 19 other women, that's all he deserves. Brad needs to go into councelling to deal with his own sexual impulses and leave it at that.
 
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August 4, 2005, 10:22 am CDT

Brittany, please be careful.

Quote From: brittany

i am 16 and i have been single for 5months i was with this guy for almost 6 months he was like my best friend i new him for 2 years i want him back he wants to date me agian to but i dont know what i should do could any of yall help me i love him he is 18 and his name is matt do yall think i should date him
Brittany, you are very young. As you get older, more lifestyle skills get developed---such as having PATIENCE! Just because you're single now, it doesn't mean that you will for the rest of your life. Enjoy all the FREEDOM that you're entitled to. Being single isn't all bad. If you have a good support network where you live, then that'll ensure that you won't get lonely. Apart from that, I wish you the best.
 
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August 17, 2005, 8:36 am CDT

Admiring Tess and Mark

When I was watching the Dr. Phil show about Bullies, I felt real bad about the unrelentingly harsh treatment that both Tess and Mark were receiving. However, they both had a lot of courage to appear on the show and now have world wide exposure. Admitting that they have been victimizedin front of a live audience must have been real embarrassing. At least they were willing to go through by applying rational methods to do something about it. By watching the show, thousands of children and teenagers will realize that they are not alone and they can have a significant level of empowerment upon their routines at school. 

  

The key thing that Tess and Mark have that I never had were caring and supportive parents. When I was around Tess's age, I would get bullied both at school AND at home as my parents were bullying me too. I have had to totally disengage from all of my biological relatives in order to get my life back & not let my unforgiving past tormenting me so much. Tess and Mark, please keep leaning on your family for strength and realize that it's what you got on the inside that matters the most.  

 
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August 25, 2005, 4:18 pm CDT

Seperating the two

Dr. Phil definitely did the right thing by separating the couple. Obviously, Steve and Sheila are unfit to live with one another. However, I disagree with Dr. Phil in that Sheila deliberately found a husband with an alcoholic problem just for her to have the go-ahead to launch a series of assaults. I find Sheila's anger to be very legitimate in that she hates it when Steve gets routinely drunk. However, it's Sheila's BEHAVIOR that I find so alarming. She desperately needs anger management and needs to be PATIENT with it because her therapy will take an awful long time. I find myself to be more sympathetic towards Sheila than most men would. Without Steve to kick around, I hope that Sheila perseveres and becomes a calmer lady who can function with a lot less hostility. ---FRED from K-Town!
 
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August 30, 2005, 10:34 am CDT

Susan has her work cut out l

Dear Dr Phil subscribers. I feel really bad for Susan. The reason being is that I used to live in the same building with a prostitute. Her life was sad and out of control. The last I heard of her, my ex-neighbour did not escape the turmoil surrounding her. What Susan has going for her is that Dr. Phil made plenty of arrangements for her to turn her life around. I can understand Susan when she said that being an escort is all she knows. However, Dr. Phil was right in that this way of life is anything but sustainable. My advise to Susan is to stick with the plan that Dr. Phil has created for her. Most importantly, take it one day at a time. Susan may leave a lot of money on the table but her self-worth will escalate substantially if she can successfully pull this off. My prayers are with Susan as I am hoping for a very happy conclusion. FTP
 
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September 8, 2005, 11:18 am CDT

No More Suicide attempts, please

Quote From: loving_me

I am a survivor of incest as well. My oldest brother began raping me when I was 7 until I was 15. he would come down to my room every other night and rape me. I kept it a secret deep within me because for one he threatened to kill me, and secondly I didn't want to mess up the family. I finally told my parents my senior year of highschool. I was 17 when I finally told. I am now 19. My aftermath of the abuse is horrendous. I cut, I burn myself, I have PTSD, I have severe nightmares and flashbacks. I have and eating disorder, I have severe low self esteem.I have tried to kill myself twice. And I am mentally, physically and emotionally screwed up.  

  

I recently wrote a letter to my brother confronting him and telling him that it is no longer a secret. He wrote back and apologized. I don't think it was very sincere though, because he mostly just wrote about his life and the bad things that are/or happened to him. He has never apologized to anyone for anything. So for me it seemed to easy to get an apology. I am more confused then I was when I first started talking about this.  

  

But I do have a lot of support. I am a member of a message board called After Silence. The survivors on this message board are wonderful. I feel like I get more support from them then my own family.  

  

Linds.  

Dear Loving_Me: I read your message through and through and felt like I had an obligation to respond. Although I have never been a victim of incest, I have had a rough life by living with a family of nimrods. When I was about your age, I tried to committ suicide. Looking back, I am glad that it failed. Through time, I have cut my biological family away from my life and have since surrounded myself with people who make me feel better about myself. Even though you had no control over what your brother did, you can certainly be in control in how you live the rest of your life. Please do you & me a favour and have no more suicide attempts. Even though your brother is a bad person, you can find plenty of good people if you search hard enough. Dr. Phil always emphasizes about providing victims with the proper resources. Even though I had a lousy childhood and adolesence, I have healed by having a strong support network later in life. Please don't feel overwhelmed when dealing with it and try not to battle your feelings by yourself. Having post trauma is natural for any victim of abuse but I urge you to share it with professionals of your choosing. Regardless of what happens, I'll always be on your side. Please do me a favour, if you ever have any thoughts of killing yourself again, please e-mail me first. Although I have never met you & are a complete stranger to me, at least you can be assured that you have one person on your side. My   

e-mail address is fredtperel@hotmail.com  Remember: Committing suicide should never be an option. FTP  

 
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September 9, 2005, 6:15 am CDT

Please think more positively

Quote From: loving_me

I will try but at times it gets really hard. :( There are times that I just wish he would have finished me off. He would choke me if I didn't do what he said, I wish sometimes that he would have choked me a little longer. I know its not the answer, but sometimes it feels like that is the only way out of hell.  

  

Linds 

Hi Loving_Me. It's impossible for me to say that I can relate to you because I've never gone through the living hell that you're describing. However, I wish that you'd think more positively. You're life is a blessing and you can redifine yourself as a survivor. Please be glad that you are still alive and that you can live a full life. The internal wounds must be the most difficult thing you now face. My advise is that you seek professional help. It's not because there is anything wrong with you. It's just that what you have to deal with is very daunting. From my standpoint, the best way to get even with your brother is to live a fully independent life. Please resist any temptation there is to commit suicide and try to discover coping strategies that you can use whenever such thoughts occur. Thank you for reading what I've said on the message board and I'll be praying for you.  FTP
 
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September 21, 2005, 10:22 am CDT

Painful memories

Hi everyone. I'm glad that Dr. Phil actively stepped into this situation. When I was little, my mother yelled at me relentlessly. Back then, I was the one who saw the psychiatrists because my family convinced me that everything was my fault. My family didn't change their harmful ways. As a result, I'm still recovering from the abusive treatment that they gave me. If every parent acted the way Michelle did, this world be that much more of a crazier place to live in. Unfortunately, I have only had one family consisting of two unrelenting parents. It has been hard for me to behave as a normal person as a result of the abusive treatment that I constantly received. This wouldn't be possible if I hadn't completely divorced my parents a few years ago. If Michelle wants to remain in her own children's lives, she needs to reverse her kind of behavior immediately. She takes advantage of the two children because they have nowhere else to go. Someday, her children will be old enough to separate from Michelle completely, something I inevitably did. I'm delighted that Dr. Phil has provided serious help for Michelle before her family ends up as a permanent train wreck.
 
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September 30, 2005, 8:46 am CDT

My meds are working well

Unlike the children that were featured on the show, I am a full grown adult. Unfortunately, I don't always behave this way. Since I have battled mental illness for such a long time, I welcome various types of pills to make me act more appropriately. It's important to know that different people react to different forms of medication. The doctors that I had in the past didn't always know me as well as they throught they did. As a result, I was given the wrong combination of pills. It's tricky at the beginning because it goes mostly by a trial and error basis. For over a year, I am finally on the right combination of pills. At breakfast and bedtime, I take Paxil, Seroquel, and Carbamazepine. The best thing about my perscription is that I don't react negatively to them and the dosages aren't that much. I am grateful that I can now think clearly without having any dreaded side effects to slow me down. My position on medication is that it is excellent if the patient is examined both thoroughly and properly. Thanks to my regular intake of pills, I am able to work at a regular part-time while also having to volunteer at another job. Oh by the way, I happen to be inflicted with Aspergers Syndrome but am coping very well thanks to the actions of my family doctor. Please be open minded and give your pills a chance. If the pills don't work, ask your doctor to try something different. Just be resiliant and hopeful that you're on the right track. This will determine how you function in society, especially if you're mentally ill like I am. 

 
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September 30, 2005, 9:10 am CDT

Burger King

Quote From: rlarntz

No one truly knows what the Katrina victims are living with, the toll it has taken on so many the mental fatigue we feel on a daily basis the images of children who lost both parents.  I am a survivor and this is my story ................

  

 

  

 

Was about 4 am we lost power we were all unaware of the deadly wall of water and 200+ mph winds baring down on us last we heard Katrina was heading more west  , we were all huddled up at restaurant my wife and I worked at we chose that location because the back part was supposed to be hurricane proof. We made the decision to stay open that night to feed police officers and other emergency personnel  was no other business open everyone was closed down due to the curfew imposed  the police officers told us we had made the right decision to stay in that building if we would of evacuated when everyone else we would been among the countless numbers of people were trapped in their cars by the rising water and wind. Around 6 am or so the wind began to pick up, the half inch plate glass windows began to move in and out with every gust of wind around 7 am the windows exploded in a hale of glass, my wife and father were standing near them I heard the explosion and ran up front grabbed my wife and spun her around to prevent her from being cut to death. I went after my father to find him standing beside where the window once was I called his name 3 or 4 times but the look on his face was one of shock and horror was able to get his attention and got him away from the window casing. Once the windows exploded the roof began to be tore off there was insulation falling out of ceiling and rain was coming in through what was left of the roof , pieces of tin were flying all around hitting our vehicles and busting out other windows in the plaza where we were. Then the storm surge came in 35 foot wall of water the water rose 3 foot in less then 10 minutes, so we decided to put our 2 children up on counter of restaurant that gave us time to figure a plan for survival burger king was across the parking lot from us.  So looked at my brother and said "you think we can make it over there "  we went out in 100 mph winds and chest deep water he came back and said get the truck which was 4 wheel drive we loaded everyone up and drove through the water to the other side, my wife went to look for a first aid kit just incase we would need it by this time the water about 2 foot into burger king. We saw a man with a boat I set the panic alarm off on the truck to get their attention he saw us but couldn't get to this right then so a boy waded about 200 yards in the dark murky swirling water and grabbed my youngest son put him on his back and took him to a building that sat even higher then burger king my brother grabbed my oldest and went out to higher ground. My wife and mother went out next by this time the boat was coming our way my wife and mother were stepping on god knows what under the water could of been bodies and signs my wife helped my mom into the boat, took them across what was once hwy 90 but at this point looked more like a river. The boat came back for my father and me and we told them to go help the people trapped in their houses by the water we was alright for time being. This went on for about 5 or 6 hours finally we see sunshine we knew the storm had passed so I decided to venture out in the truck I was unprepared for what was to come I saw infants still in their car seats and parents holding on to them with their last breath, saw a little girl around 5 or 6 years of age standing near what used to be a house I stopped the truck and got out asked her what was wrong she said " My mommy and daddy are there" pointing to what was once a house but had been reduced to a pile of rubble so I flagged down a police officer and told her what the girl had jus told me she got the girl in the car and took her to a shelter. We were finally able to make it out of Mississippi we come to West Virginia and my parents and brother went to Tennessee and that was last time I seen my parents I have spoke with them on the phone, was told everything we own is gone and everything my parents have worked for in their 43 year marriage was gone as well. But can always replace material things, not family................

  

 

  

 

  

 

When You Lose Hope You Have Lost Everything,  I am a survivor and this is my story

  

 

Richard A. Larntz                                                                                                      9/27/2005

  

 

Hi Richard. Even though your family is split apart, the good news is that you all survived. The will to live can be something that is very powerful. I'm sorry that your family lost everything in the storm. That must be truly devastating. I don't know what I'd do if I lost all my possessions. It's great that you had the presence of mind to go to Burger King where you'd create more distance between yourselves and all that dirty water. Just be thankful that you got through it. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you all the best when it comes to putting your life back together. FTP  

 

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