Quote From: wubba1108I remember when I left for college. For alittle backstory, my parents tried for YEARS to conceive. Ultimately, the doctors told my mother it would never be possible for her to have a child of her own. And then, one day when my mom was already in her 40's, she passed out at work. She thought she had an ear infection but a blood test confirmed quite the surprise. She was pregnant...with me. So, yeah. I was an only child...a girl...AND the baby they were never suppose to be able to have.
You can imagine what it was like for my mom (and my dad) when the time came to send me away to college. If I close my eyes, I can still remember looking out my dorm room window, watching my parents walking towards their car. My mom was sobbing in a manner I never saw again...until my father died.
But I'm here to tell all of you parents concerned about your kids leaving the nest that ITS OKAY. Be prepared. 'Cause your relationship w/ your children is going to change. But it'll be a GOOD change.
Four years after graduating, my father died of cancer. I had moved home the last year of his life to help my mom care for him. And, I stuck around after his death. My mom focused, once again, 100% of her attention on me. A year after his passing I knew I needed to move on...for both my mom's and my sake. I got a job an hour and a half away. Once again, mom did NOT handle this well. In fact, she handled it worse than college.
And I told her the same thing I'm telling you...its going to be OKAY.
And, eventually, once everyone adjusted it was. My relationship w/ her is different now. She's not there to "do" for me anymore. But we talk a couple of times a week. She visits and I get to show her around my new home and my new life...just like when I was in college. I've found that being away from home has opened the door to a whole slew of new topics for us to discuss. She sends me newspaper clippings of hometown stuff she thinks I'd be interested in reading. I send her pictures of our home remodeling projects, or daytrips I've taken. She keeps me up-to-date on my "old world" and I get to share all kinds of stuff regarding my "new world."
I won't say that I understand the sadness of letting your child go ('cause I haven't had to do that yet). But don't think of it as a loss. Think of it as a new adventure. Your kids are going to have so many new experiences to share with you. Funny stories about their roommates. Interesting tidbits about what they're learning. All kinds of experiences and adventures.
When I left for college I couldn't cook, I didn't know how to do laundry, I had never had a checking account before. I knew nothing. But now, as an adult, when my mom comes to visit she find's a clean house, an old fashioned meal waiting for her, and a million adventures for me to share with her in my new life. Heck, we took her sailing...her FIRST TIME in a sailboat, this past summer. Once she embraced watching her child fly from the nest, it opened up a whole slew of new and exciting happy experiences for her.
And it will for you, as well.
I hope you are right! My daughter commutes to Syracuse University where she is an academic scholarship student in Comp Sci. I am immensely proud of her. She decided to stay home to save the money that room and board would cost. She does have a "life" and has a boyfriend, and sees her other friends. We have worked out the boundary issues - which was hard. We have to leave our home next year, and move on, and I am excited for her while sad for myself. She is all I have. I have tried to get active with friends, etc. but they are busy with their husbands and kids, and so it goes. Due to other circumstances, I can't branch out as far as I might like. So, I am praying that what you say is true and that there is hope for me! I hope your mom is happy and well. She sounds like she has an awesome daughter!
