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Messages By: wyldcelt

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October 9, 2005, 12:00 pm CDT

excuse you

Quote From: fouryoungs

I don't care how knowledgeable you think you are, if you don't have kids, you have no right to discipline anyone Else's.  You NEVER know what it is like to be a mom until you are one. 

I am a mom and if your kid is beating on other kids, engaging in dangerous behavior to themself or others, kicking the back of my seat when unaccompanied and you aren't available to speak to, I'm going to yell at your kid. I will approach them with a polite request first, more firmly the second, and a flat out yell if I have to ask a 3rd time. If you're available, I'll talk to you first, if not it is my responsibilty as a member of society and as an adult to provide direction and/or help to kids that may or may not know better. 

  

As a mom I'm rather surprised you would object to someone else trying to look out for the welfare of your child. I greatly appreciate the enormous help I've received from family, friends and even the occassional stranger in "putting a leash" on my son when he was doing something dumb. It does take a village to raise a child and I've got a great kid because of it. 

 
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October 10, 2005, 10:27 am CDT

It's ok , really

Quote From: rainbowwen

I have three sons, ages 9 and 7 years old and an 18 month old son.  I would NOT want my older two to see a mom breastfeeding her child with her breast exposed.  This would make my children uncomfortable and they are getting to the age where not only would it be funny to them but also possibly inappropriate for them to see, in my opinion.  I think breastfeeding is wonderful if you can do it, I did it with my eldest but couldn't produce enough milk after 7 weeks of trying and I had to stop.  I think it is fine IF the breast is covered, it is common-sense and courteous to others who might have older children or just might be uncomfortable with it.   

  

Kids reactions will mirror the reaction of the adults around them, if you don't make a big deal out of it, the kid won't either. Case in point: 

My son and I were in a restaurant when he was 6 yrs old. He had a  preplexed look on his face and then quietly asked "what's that lady doing?" I glanced over my shoulder and the woman behind me was BF I turned back to him and said "remember when Aunt Susie's cat had kittens and they were sucking on Tigs tummy? That lady is feeding her baby just like Tigs was" His response "Oh....Okay...Can we go to putt-putt now?"  

  

It just isn't a big deal to kids unless you turn it into one. Your sons will be fine if you handle the subject matter of factly. 

 
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October 10, 2005, 12:45 pm CDT

hello, back up just a minute

Quote From: triguam

I am baffled why I have never heard the issue of the men in our lives, discussed, when we talk about breast feeding in public!  My husband, (although he would never admit it), along with every man I've ever known, does not / cannot separate a woman's breast from its sexual connotation, regardless of whether a baby is attached or not.   I severely resent the women who feel the need to "hang it all out" in front of my husband and sons.  I cannot imagine that THEIR husbands appreciate them "hanging it all out" for everyone to see, either.  Men view women's breasts the same way, whether they're nursing or just exposing their breasts in general.  There's no difference to them and I totally object to women exhibiting themselves in public, for that reason, if for no other.  The woman on the show today is naive if she thinks she is going to change the US, much less the world, by exposing her breasts and using having a baby attached as an excuse.   I breast fed 2 children.  I fed them in public, when absolutely necessary, but ALWAYS with a blanket over my shoulder and the baby [& my breast, because I don't want men looking at me that way - which is exactly the same way, whether I have a baby attached or not.   Women don't get it. 

    On an aside note;  I wonder if these women who are so keen to expose their breasts [during breastfeeding in public, are not women who were flat or small-breasted to begin with and deep down, they feel this [breastfeeding legitamizes them exposing their breasts and showing that they actually do have "size" now.  Hmmmm.  Something to think about.  I'd like to hear the husbands weigh in on this.... and men in general.   nhr 

I resent your comment lumping all males into the breast obsessed catagory. I have a 17 yr old son that plays hockey, we've been in rinks where there have been women breastfeeding. While some of the guys have smirked and said "look at that, it's all hanging out" my son's reaction has been "dude you're gross, she's feeding her baby" The guys have then shut-up and gone on their way. I don't know what kind of males you're hanging out with but don't put the rest of the male population in with those you know.
 
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October 10, 2005, 1:24 pm CDT

sorry

Quote From: linzjongat

That true. My husband has never seen feeding as sexual. We dated all through high school and I remember walking through the mall with him and seeing a breast feeding mom I looked at him because I was young and thought he might be offended he looked and then looked away. Later when we where married and about to have a baby of our own I asked him about his thoughts on breast feeding. He looked concerned "why do you not want to" I explained I just wanted to make sure he was comfortable and he laughed and said "why wouldn't I be." We also served many friends and work associates of my husband about if they found breast feeding sexual or offensive. All thought it was a silly question and said of course not. My point is that not all men are drooling beasts just looking for a glimpse of breast feeding boob.  

I apologize if my response came across rather strong. I get fed up with people making sweeping judgements of an entire population (in this case males) based on their limited experience with a minuscule percentage of that population.
 
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October 10, 2005, 5:43 pm CDT

thank you

Quote From: dub_jetta

I just finished watching the show, and I am speachless.  My wife and I are newly married, and we could not be happier.  We also have a new born, so my wife is at home all day.  I tell her to do whatever she wants, I do not care, as long as she's happy, I'm happy.  I work out of town, so I get home late, and leave early.  In the morn, if she happens to be up, she'll make my lunch and coffee, awsome, very greatful.  If she's sleeping from being up with our daughter, then I let he sleep, and I make lunch and breakfast, big deal.  When I get home, dinner is always ready, and if it isn't, I will offer to make it, but she usually makes it because she can cook, I can't, ha ha.  Anyways, we share the house work, she mostly does it, but on the weekends or my days off, I try my best to do it all.  We love eachother so very much, and I say, if we have love and respect for one another, then everything will just "flow" so to speak.  I am a young guy, only 20, but I am old and smart enough to realize that "Grant" is a loser.  He needs some direction.  I cannot beleive that the test they did, with him being the "hose wife" did not give him a kick in the pants and notice the stress and headache that the wife goes through trying to make Grant happy.  Yea, he works all day at one job, she works all day at several.  Anyways, this is only my opinion and life experience, or lack there of.  Woman deserve respect.  I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for woman/wife.  I have seen woman beatn', thrown around, talked down upon, and when I see stuff like that, I wish I could hit the husband/boyfriend, and get away with it.  Woman are equal, they are human beings, they have feelings, and should be treated like they truly are a queen.  They pushed out the babies that made us, they carry the baby for 9 months, and are in pain.  Us men make the money, but thats not all it should be.  We should be there for them, supporting them 24/7.  Anyways, my two cents.  Hope you all agree! 

  

Can we get you cloned? I might reconsider staying single if we can ;-) 

Thank you, you give me hope that there are still decent, caring fellows out there. 

Congrats to you and your lucky wife, enjoy your little one they grow up way too fast 

 
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October 12, 2005, 9:25 am CDT

Kudos to You :-)

Quote From: tselb2

I believe the biggest problem with overprotective parents is that the child never learns to make decisions and is thus, unable to live on their own or will forever second guess their decisions.  

  

I am a Mom of three boys.  They are 11, 9, and 7.  My oldest has freedoms the other two don't simply b/c he has had more life experience and has shown his responsibilities to be honorable.  My 9 yo has special needs, but is still allowed to ride his bike around the neighborhood b/c he has been taught (by me and Dad) how to do it honorably and has shown to be responsible.  I believe taking these freedoms away would cause them to second guess their independence.  Plus, I will not be here for the rest of their lives (I believe at this point) so if I don't empower them, who will?  I don't want them learning from the world, so I believe it is my job as their Mom.  They have never been in daycare, as well, b/c I didn't want someone else spending more time with them than myself (this is my choice, of course, not meant to offend anyone reading).  I believe if we teach our children right from wrong, when they get to that critical moment in life, they will have the knowledge to make a good choice.  If they choose otherwise, it is their consequence to suffer, not mine.  All three of my boys have been given consequence as a result of poor judgment, so they understand that consequences surely follow poor judgment. 

  

Tselb2 

You're teaching your boys caution not fear of the world as well as taking responsibilty for their own actions and poor choices.  

  

I watch the situation with my nephew and am nearly brought to tears with each new development. Charles is 6 months older than my son and the two of them could not be more different. Physical appearance, they could pass for twins but their approach and view of the world are polar opposites. Charles is afraid of his own shadow, Gar (my son) could use a "leash" to keep him from barreling into situations. Charles parents have kept him under their thumb so firmly , often times it seems he's trying to become invisible. We tried to get him to come out (Pennsylvania to Colorado) for 2 weeks during the summer when he was 14 so he could just be a kid. Charles wouldn't get on the plane by himself, I'm looking at Gar who took his first plane ride at 8 yrs old and Gar was telling the pilot how to fly the plane! Charles parents are keeping him safe but they're also keeping him scared of life. I hate it, I really hate what they've done to the poor kid. He will be 18 next month and I pray Charles will go as far away as he can get to go to college. 

  

Yes you do have to evaluate the situations your kids will be exposed to but you also have to keep in mind, from the day of their birth you're begining the process of eventually letting them go. Gar leaves for college next and I'm sure I'll be bawling in the car after I leave him in the dorm but that's what we've been working toward for all these years.  ----I'm thinking I need to buy stock in Kleenex Corp..... ;-)   

 
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October 12, 2005, 9:44 am CDT

Important info

This isn't likely to help overprotective parents chill out but it is very important for parents to be aware: 

Last FBI stats I saw (somewhere around '95, '96) stated that on average there is 1 known sexual predator every 2 square miles. A friend in Criminal Justice tells me it's much higher than that now. 

Parents, when choosing a neighborhood most police departments will give you the info regarding known sexual predators in a particular neighborhood either by zipcode in smaller cities or by subdivision in the larger cities. Please make use of this information when deciding where to live. Please note the boldface on known, the stats don't include the preds that haven't been caught yet. 

 
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October 12, 2005, 10:12 am CDT

correction

Quote From: wyldcelt

This isn't likely to help overprotective parents chill out but it is very important for parents to be aware: 

Last FBI stats I saw (somewhere around '95, '96) stated that on average there is 1 known sexual predator every 2 square miles. A friend in Criminal Justice tells me it's much higher than that now. 

Parents, when choosing a neighborhood most police departments will give you the info regarding known sexual predators in a particular neighborhood either by zipcode in smaller cities or by subdivision in the larger cities. Please make use of this information when deciding where to live. Please note the boldface on known, the stats don't include the preds that haven't been caught yet. 

subdivision in smaller cities, zipcode in larger
 
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October 12, 2005, 4:35 pm CDT

I do understand your fear

Quote From: mettat

It is easy for people that do not have children to give advise.  I am trying the best that I can do with Ashlee.  She is allowed to do some things, but not things that I know could possibly put her in harms way.  We have 2 child molesters in  our neighborhoods.  I do not think of my kids as possessions, but as gifts from God and I am going to make sure that my children are not going to be just another child that ends up hurt or worse murdered by some strange pervert.  So until you have become a parent, then please don't try and give advise.

It is sometimes terrifying for parents when their kids are out of our sight or control. :-) Just have to do our best to make sure we teach our kids what to do and what not to do to keep themselves safe. Let them take each step toward maturity and we can go cry in the car. It does get easier as they demonstrate they have in fact listened to what we've tried to teach them. 

  

I am curious how long your daughter was lost at the aquarium only because my son was lost at Seaworld, San Diego when he was 8 and a KMart when he was 4. He did exactly what I'd instructed him to do if he ever got lost which was to find a lady that worked there, a grandma or a mom with kids 'cause she sure wouldn't want more. It was a horrible thing to have to tell him not to ask a male stranger since more often than not it's guys that hurt kids, awful thing to have to tell a boy. May have been easier for me to bounce back since he is a boy and I'd worked in a mall where I was always taking kids back to their moms (might have been the invisible "softtouch" the kids always seemd to see written on my forehead *sigh*) 

  

I can't say I blame you for being concerned about the molesters in your neighborhood, could you perhaps just watch her until she's past their homes and at her friends front door, have the other girls parents agree to do the same? 

  

My heart goes out to you, it is hard to let go but it is part of our job as parents. Very best of wishes to you. 

 
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October 12, 2005, 5:51 pm CDT

teenage driver

Quote From: momoflaura

I could relate to todays show - my daughter is 16 and has been driving now less than a year.  We live in a metropolitan area, where driving is not easy or simple.  I am in panic mode most of the time when she leaves the house -  I think I require therapy.  Although I have never been as stifling as todays moms, I have always been more protective than other mothers.  Perhaps I should just stop reading the daily paper and watching the news,  where teens are involved daily in deadly crashes.  I have to get over this feeling - any suggestions - do other parents go through this  or is it just me?  I am just terrified of something happening to her.

Teenage drivers scare everybody including their parents :-|  

Bailey's helps after 5 pm, for you not the kid.  

I quit reading the papers, that helped some. 

 

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