Messages By: marcia52

Brenda, these people did not have to say anything and yet they did.  They said what was true in their hearts at the moment it was said.  You did make a difference. You were important and you stood up for your principles which is something very few people do anymore.

When I left, I left without fanfare -- I told nobody what I was doing because I knew I needed to leave to get my mental health back.  I didn't feel like fighting anymore.  I just wanted to have peace of mind finally.

You are taking so much with you to your next step.  I'm proud of you. 

Marcia

Kim, when I was in a class with a woman who was raising her 2 sons on her own, I used to hear her excuses on why she didn't do her homework or study for a test.  Then 1 day, I asked her if she made her sons do theirs and she said of course, I then asked her why she felt that it was important for them and not her.  What was she actually teaching her sons.  Her mouth dropped.

Kim, sometimes people attack / say things that are digs because they themselves are not doing their very best and they lash out.  Maybe they got into a fight with someone before class, and when you received the well earned pat on the back, they had to lash out.

I pray daily for the patience and understanding to ignore the remarks from people.  When it's family, I lash out with a challenge.  Like when I'm told that I'M LIKE THIS OR THAT - then I challenge them and say but I've been doing this & this haven't I?  So is it true?

But you are learing to interept their behaviors / words - otherwise you wouldn't be posting here -- it's a form of listening / brainstorming.   You post, you get responses, you read those responses, you compare them to the events, you write back with your thoughts, and eventually you work thru things.  It's why I love posting here when I'm working on something and can't seem to grasp it.

In fact, just by writing you, I clear my internal thinking up or remember a truth that I needed to help me.

I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed - and you can always talk to the instructor about the "CURVE" - I found when I went to college, that most instructors actually didn't have 1.  You were graded on the points received.  That really surprised folks because we were always told up front that the points from homework, discussion, tests, & quizzes were counted.  If the instructor felt we all were doing poorly, they gave us an extra assignment to raise our point average. 

Okay Brenda,

1. I take it you are calling them or contacting them - correct or are they contacting you?  No body called me but 1 person when I left.  That's because my broken record was so whinning that even I was tired to talking about it.

2. The people are telling you these words are liars and can't be trusted to tell you the truth?

I was a leader and trainer for so many people.  It was a mode of operation I worked in without even knowing it.  My AHA moment camed the summer I was a team coordinator for 3 different teams while we were working on developing a Reseach Technical Repository.  It was then I realized how well I could perform and that I was wasting my life energy working for an organization that feared my success.

How did you answer those 2 questions.

Marcia

You need to stop thinking about the loan - you have a year.  If you keep the loan/debt in your mind 24/7, then you will never find a job because you will never get pass the fear you are creating within.

I too have debt - ~$18,000 and I need to find a job.  I gave myself the summer off because I know that come September all the students will have returned to school and all sorts of jobs will open up again.  For me, I'm going to look at temporary service so that I can go to school part-time. 

What type of jobs are posted in the paper?  Is there a larger city nearby that you can look there for a job - I know you may not want to move but a small city/town is quite limited in work sometimes. Are there any big companies nearby?

You may have to take a lower paying job at first and work your way up - the Business Administration degree can open doors at an entry level in a business that you are wanting to learn from.  I know that being a secretary was quite beneficial for me because I was able to learn about the company and network with the other secretaries.  Secretaries are one of the best resources. 

Don't wait for the job to come to you in the way of a newspaper.   Put in your resume' and then follow-up in a month or so.  Let them know you really are interested.  Be open to the fact that you have a degree.  Many times, companies hire people with degrees that have no connection to the job - it's that the company knows that you are trainable and that you are willing to learn.

Your fears are just like my own.  How do I pay off my debt and prepare myself for retirement in 10 years when I've had to cash in my 401K to help me thru this transistion in life.

When I purchased my home back in 1997, I picked up a brochure at the bank on ESCROW.  The AHA moment came when I realized that I could do the same for myself.  So I went home and made a list of what my yearly bills were going to be:

1. Car Insurance, House Insurance, Life Insurance, Dental Insurance
2. Water & Sewer
3. Vacation
4. Home Repairs
5. Car Repairs
6. House payment
7. Property Taxes

I then totaled up the amounts and divided it by 26 (the # of paychecks I get in 1 year).  Then I went to the bank and opened up a savings account.  Had the bank transfer the AMOUNT into the ESCROW account every pay period.

It took a while to build up the ESCROW; however, it was wonderful when at 6 months, I was paying my car insurance at one time.

The house payment was easier too!  Instead of 1 large payment, I had it split up.  All I had to do was transfer the monies back into my savings and write a check.

NOTE: there are 52 weeks in a month, and I got paid every other week which meant I had 26 paydays in a year.  2 of those checks helped me to build up my ESCROW account and I had the extra monies to help me pay for emergencies or a vacation or a new TV at the end of the year.

Hi Lisa, you are on track with starting with walking.  Because you had your feet operated on, I would suggest that if your doctor hasn't authorized you to get orthipetics for your feet, you should get them.  They helped me alot - I am flat footed.  I ran into really big problems last year when my calves locked up and I could barely walk for a couple of weeks.

1. Get yourself a good pair of shoes. I like New Balance and got mine from SEARS when they were on sale for $49.99. 
2. Do stretches after your walk - your muscles will get tight if you don't.
3. Take it really slow.  Make a goal to do 1/2 the track for 1 week.  Then the whole track for week 2.
4. You may have walk every other day.  It depends on your legs.

I highly recommend Pilates for every body!  It did wonders for me.  If you do free weights & pilates.  Do the free weights for the upper body as your lower body is being worked out with pilates.

If you can get help with a personal trainer at a gym, that would be the best advice to.  I know that the machines at the gym help you to build up your muscles better.

However, you can't do it all over night.  Acknowledge that when you go back to work you will still need to work on exercise.  You might find water aerobics or another type of class beneficial as well.

Take it really slow so that you can allow yourself an opportunity to adapt to an exercise program or otherwise, you will stop.

Also know that it's easier getting started than maintaining.  I walk my dogs every other day and they know it!  I don't walk for myself - I walk for them!  I'm an excellent caretaker so I use my sense of caretaking to make me exercise.  Hey, I do whatever works for me!

I've finally figured out what I need to do get back on track.  I got it all planned out but I just can't seem to take the next step.  It's like, I'm frozen in time.  I know what I need to do and just refuse to think or do it.

I know that I've been tackling this since 11/18/03 when I committed to the WLC.  I took time off to do Self Matters and then spent a lot of time mastering Key 4, Step 2 to where I could finally just read the book without some stupid life event throwing me off.  I can stop my binges & urges, I just don't want to focus anymore.

Did any one else have this problem?  I'm thinking that it's just FEAR of finally tackling my weight which is the last of my "TO BE FIXED" to do.  I have lived as a depressive for more than 40 years.  I've beaten myself up and kept myself living a victimize life style during all that time. 

I know that once I begin, I won't be depressed anymore because I'll be too busy living the life style. It's just that this is my biggest UNKNOWN I've faced to date.

Has anyone else been here?  At this place that I am in?  I know that it's common because I'm a member of a WLC support group and all the members are just like me.  Have lived with the HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, HAVE TO ... to do list for so long that it's become just a life style and letting go of it is just so scary.

Need someone to talk to about this.

I actually don't need hypnosis. I'm a visualist and if I can see it in my mind, I have done it.  Doing even a mediation works well with me.  I used Dr. Lawlis' cd's on weight loss and it really helped me thru some hard times.  But I need to break out of this BLAH feeling. Ever other day, I walk my dogs, go to the gym on 1 non-walking day, and do yardwork when the weather is okay.

Exercise is a great blah release. I guess I'm using the wrong word.  It's like I know that I have to stop sitting on the couch but moving is just something I'm not used to.  If I could afford to go to a professional therapist, I would go gladly. 

I was just wondering if anyone else had felt this way and had made it thru it.  I go thru it periodically - I've done so many different things to pull myself out.  I was just wondering if there was an easier way to do it.

M

I purchased another of Suze Orman's books:  THE LAWS OF MONEY, THE LESSONS OF LIFE.  On pages 108-109 she discusses Student Loans and says that if you have a couple, you should consolidate them.  

I was doing the 9 Steps to Financial Freedom and just couldn't move into Step 4 (wills & stuff) - so today, I saw this book for $6 and bought it.  I just have way too many FEARS and I'm still working on getting a good handle on what my monthly spending is. It's like, I can only do it for a little while and then burn out.   

Check to see if your local library has the book -- she even suggests a company you can contact to consolidate your other bills as well.  For me, I'm trying to raise my credit score up -- I can't believe how low it has become!  I went from the 600's to the 400's in a couple of months. 

M 

Yesterday, I purchased WLS for Teens (written by Jay) because after reading WLS for the 4th or 5th time, I just couldn't master Key 4, Step 2: Urges/Impulses.  The very first Key 4 exercise Jay asked me to do was to answer this question: WHAT AM I DOING WITH FOOD, EATING, DIEITNG, OR WEIGHT THAT I WOULD LOVE TO STOP?  I started on my list and when I got to 4, I went off track and discovered an answer to a problem that I have been having and didn't even realize it.   

I worked in the corporate world for years.  I was a team coordinator, a project clerk, personnel clerk, records management assistant, ISO 9000 auditor and Adminstrative Coordinator, etc. etc. etc.  I've even signed up for two classes in August to check out the Technical Writer career because that's what I have been doing for years and years.  

So, yesterday in my writing, I acknowledged that the truth is, I want a simple, mindless job.  Today, I put an application in at the neighborhood bakery to be a sales clerk.  There wouldn't be any meetings, or me taking home a briefcase of work cause I didn't have enough time at my 8-9 hour a day job to get it all done.  I want to just come home and have a life.  I want to be a home maker. 

I'm 52 years old and I just want to be a home maker.  I want to keep my home neat, I want to have time to sew, to practice my dance routine, and most importantly have the energy to be a part of my family's life. 

It's like a door has opened for me.  And it might be what's been keeping me from finally moving forward because I've not faced this decision in the past - but kept saying that just wait until September and then I'll decide.  Well, I've decided and this is my goal.  I'm not sure if this is my life goal, but after 30+ years of working in the corporate world, I just don't want to return to it. 

Marcia