Messages By: upatnight

I just have to chuckle at Dr. Phil's continued attack of co-sleeping.... unless the people involved are suffering just leave it alone... Maybe Madilyne's (I'm pretty sure I've mis-spelled this) Dad should just join the girls in night-time cuddling.  After all they do have a king-sized bed.  The wee lass is still a baby.  As you can probably tell we usually have one or more of our munchkins snuggling with us..... It ROCKS.... the only problem as far as I can see is that it makes it really hard to want to get up and start your day when you have a warm, sweet little person gently holding your arm or neck.  With the forecasted rise in the cost of heating our home this winter we  will appreciate that our little furnaces will be warming us up at no cost.     And by the by , yes, This IS working for us Dr. Phil.. teehee 

BD 

You can no more exstablish a boy's future sexual orientation based on their playtime choices now than you can determine that a child who plays teacher will become a teacher at some time in the future.  The whole point of play-time is so that kids can try on different roles and play at being some-one or something else.  I am not  worried that my 4 year old son will be gay in the future because he likes his sister's sweaters and toys.  He merely likes to be like them.  I am also not worried that he will grow up to be a dog because he likes to pretend that he is like our dog.  I assume that he likes to let his fertile imagination soar.  A very good thing to my mind.   

  

Let's let kids be kids and enjoy a time when they can be anything and can do anything.  We may think that you can't "fly" down the hall when you wear a cape but our kids KNOW that they can.  Let's leave it at that. 

Bless you all for finding the strength to share your story.  It couldn't have been easy.  Thankyou for allowing all of us to share in your tradgedy and giving so many the opportunity to help. 

  

May GOD enfold you in his loving arms and continue to strengthen you in the days and weeks to come.  You will be in my prayers. 

  

Brenda 

 It Breaks my heart to see a good Principal be falsely accused.  It can't be easy to attempt to turn a difficult school around.  I think of the movie" Stand by Me" with Morgan Freeman.  The real life person protrayed in this movie also did extraordinary things to help his students.  I wish that it was in my power to offer the Doc a job but unfortunately I am only a Mom.  But  please know, if you have the chance to read these message boards, that you would be welcome here any day of the week.  I would be proud to have a man of your integrity interacting with my kids.   I am certain that my feelings will be reflected in many , many postings.   If all else fails come on up to Alberta... we have loads of wonderful teachers and would love to have another.

As far as I am concerned the bottom line is this.... whether you want a child desperately or really don't want a child ever if you are so blessed you MUST act responsibly.  

    

There are many things in this life that we don't choose or wouldn't choose ....cancer, car accidents, financial ruin, mean people, tasteless food...however if and when these things occur we deal with it as best we can and carry on.  

   

 The miracle of a human life cannot be just tossed aside because it is not what we would have chosen or wanted. In a perfect world we would all get exactly what we want all of the time. Obviously  we don't live in a perfect world. We must take what we get and make the best of it.   

   

Often what seems like the worst thing to happen turns out to be a blessing in disguise. It could be years befor we see how our lemons have been turned into lemonade if at all.    

   

This pretty little miracle has RIGHTS too. That her father would have prefered not to be a father should not impact her life or her future. SHE did NOT choose to have a less than loving father who would like to escape his responsibilities.   

   

In short... IF YOU PLAY YOU PAY...DON'T EXPECT AN INFANT TO PICK UP THE TAB FOR YOU!!!  

   

Money is nothing....Life is everything...Get your priorities straight Matt  

   

If this woman admits to hitting and bruising this wee child ...what  has she done that she isn't admitting to? No one tells the whole truth about things they have done wrong. You always sugar-coat it a bit to make yourself look better. No doubt there is lots she has done to this innocent little girl that she won't admit to. She requires months if not years of intensive therapy to correct her apalling behavior.   

I honestly feel that this little girl would be better off without her clueless, heartless father and his cruel doxy. I understand feeling angry and frustrated with a child. Feelings are normal... acting on them without control or reason is not. There isn't a thing a child could do that would justify beating them with a belt.   

Hate the behavior, love the child.  

This creep wants to be a great film-maker (according to an interview I read when I googled his name) and leave his mark. While we may not be able to prevent him from creating his filth or the bottom-feeders who want to poison their minds by watching heinous crimes I believe we can do something. If we let the financial backers of real movies know that we will absolutely NOT pay to go to anything that this freak is involved with we can at least ruin his potential future career as a real film-maker. I got the impression that he wants to use this as his in to the real film industry. His desire for respectability and acceptance must not ever be realized. He simply does not deserve it.  If only vigilante justice wasn't just as wrong as what looser-boy is doing. I am sure a lot of people would like to pay him for all he has done.

I am aware that there are both honest and dis-honest people in every profession including our law enforcement staff. We all know that when we have a bad day our reactions to others are affected, we snap unnecessarily, say things without thinking or react without making sure our brains are engaged. Why then do we assume that police officers are immune to basic human frailties? I'm sure they grow tired of dealing with some of the worst members of society on a regular basis. It would have to impact their attitude and outlook.

Pair this with most people's lack of experience with the law and you have all the ingredients for a false confession. Unfortunately those who regularly flaunt the law, break the law and visit harm upon others are the ones able to hold it together under interrogation. The innocent ones experience an adrenaline rush of fear of the unknown and assume that the truth will prevail.

I would have never thought to warn my children to make sure I am present or that a lawyer is present before speaking to the police. I've always felt safe telling them that the police are our friends. I guess it is like any other street-proofing we do for our kids... trust your gut... don't let anyone do anything to you that makes you feel uncomfortable... tell an adult.... don't be alone. I just never thought my warnings would apply to the police.

It makes me sad.

Some men, maybe not you specifically, are pretty much irreplaceable.

 I can not imagine just up and replacing my husband with another man.  He is the father of my children and the love of my life.

 While family is extremely important to both of us we would never allow one of them the power to ruin our lives merely because of a genetic tie.

You can't replace ANY person in your life... you can choose what their role will be, you can choose to limit or eliminate contact, you can choose to allow them influence in what you do or you can choose to include a new person in your life that enhances and uplifts your  world.

 

Blood may be thicker than water but it can  leave a heck of a stain.

Wow what a lambasting of this lady....the last thing she probably needs is to have her shortcomings pointed out over and over on the message boards.. Don't forget that the guests might be reading this too..  I think that it is very positive that she is choosing not to resume her relationship with her husband at the present time but is not closing the door yet on that possibility forever. She will be able to honestly say to her kids down the line that she tried the best she could to heal the relationship. She is in no position to make any major life decisions at this time. Perhaps with some therapy and time she will become strong enough to take charge and be able to choose without a pushy friend's agenda or a unworthy husband's agenda influencing her unfairly. She needs to heal and strengthen her children's Mother first and foremost. IF SHE feels sometime down the line that her hubby is worthy of her she needs to have the freedom to make her OWN choice without fear of repercussions from those close to her. 

 

I personally have serious doubts that this man will be capable of becoming the man deserving of co-parenting those children and being a good husband , I wouldn't have it in my heart to give him a chance but don't  put this lady down for not slamming the door permanently. Perhaps just closing the door for now and taking the time to grow personally and heal is the best choice.

 

At least she won't be making a decision from the weak position she is in now but from a position of strength and confidence later when she has had more time.