Messages By: upatnight

HA HA HA... just love your Ikea Cat ... that is too cute.....some assembly required indeed  ha ha ha

HMMMMM I wonder if the cat's  kittens plan to fight for the box she came in LOL

Makes about as much sense as these people fighting over items of little lasting value

I've been known to give my kids a smack when I felt that they deserved it.  Unfortunately I am not exactly the picture of calm when I chose this discipline. I am ashamed to admit that I have slapped a bottom harder than I intended a time or two. That intimate of contact when the little darlings are frustrating you to no end is just not the best plan. Sure it's fairly easy to stay calm and gently spank a wee diapered bottom when they endanger themselves BUT when you rely on this for getting the message across as they get bigger and much better at ticking you off you are asking for trouble.

When I saw my oldest daughter slapping her younger siblings because they were being "bratty", her words, I realized that she was just following what I had modeled for her.  We now have a no touching policy in our home. Period.  The consequence for hitting a sibling (they have never hit my husband or me) is having to pay the person you assaulted out of your allowance. Only had to enforce that rule once...hitting them in the pocketbook where it really hurts is so much more effective.  They still fight, argue and be petty to one another, but no physical violence. A lot of saying sorry, doing extra chores and letters of apology but no hitting, slapping, punching or touching in anger.

I worry that kids who live with hitting as a discipline never learn other ways to deal with people who behave poorly toward them and let's face it there are plenty of nasty, rude people out there. We need to give our kids the power to be able to walk away from conflict and still feel good about themselves. The ability to stay calm in the face of provocation doesn't come naturally to most of us. It must be taught to both adults and kids... we all are still learning in this house, some days we rock and some days we are on the rocks. 

The one thing I can say is that we no longer choose to abuse one another in the name of discipline.

Watching the show and reading and listening to the material on Dr.Phil.com made me really frustrated.  It's fortunate that I am not some of these kid Mom as I would likely do something very un-mom-like. I watched with my 12 yr old daughter and she was shocked at the attitude  and dis-respect shown by some of these kids. I was frankly surprised at her view. We have had our battles over the years.

She recommended that the parents do what I did when I reached the end of my rope a few years ago with her and her sister. They were abusing their bedroom big time... peeing on the floor, hiding rotting food in the closet, drawing on the walls, peeling the walpaper border off, you name it my sweetlings were doing it. I took away everything, and I mean everything, from their room... the carpet(down to the subfloor), the beds, their clothes, their toys and stuffies, the wall hangings, everything.  I left their pillows,mattresses, blankets and books (I'm an avid reader and would never take away books). They were embarrassed to have their friends over, I can't blame them it looked awful. 

This went on for weeks until a friend of theirs said " Why don't you behave so you can get your stuff back?"

 A simple enough question, but one that created an aha moment. I was frankly running out of things to take away... we were all miserable. Fast foreward 5 or so years later and both girls keep their rooms fairly nice ( we have had a few more battles but not so much) and they now know that Mom and Dad mean business. We have learned that raising a family takes on-going adjustments and re-negotiations...it's never perfect but now it is at least manageable. We still have to call the kids (we have 4) on their behavior but they also call us on ours. Home is a place of relative peace and much love.

You can't let the lunatics take over the assylum... someone has to be in charge and that will NOT be someone who isn't even allowed to vote.

I don't know what all the fuss is about... my husband and I have been having the SAME sex for 15 years.... sorry, I just couldn't resist an old joke :)

We had a similar issue here a few years back... protests, petitions, what have you... the government did just what they wanted. Then again we didn't protes as loudly as I expect the American public will.

Lots of luck.

Oh Canada, thy name is apathy.