Messages By: sliderkta

Dear. Dr. Phil,  

Finally, a show that everyone can sink their teeth into!  It's about high time that all parents in the U.S. know the difference between "discipline" and "child abuse".  

I come from family of 5, and experienced abuse (like these kids) from both parents. This woman is teaching her children to get their way by bullying others. I'd be more than happy to go on stage and tell people like her what happens to kids who are raised in these situations.  

At the age of 14, I fought back like a vigilante--physically, verbally, and with the Word of God at my side. My sisters joked about me being like Joan of Arc, but it was enough to scare these people down. Eventually with the help of my grandparents and sisters, the violent, "Bonnie and Clyde" marriage ended in 1998.  I know that my case was a lucky one because I didn't see the jail. Other kids living in these types of situations are much more violent. I heard about a case on the East Coast, where a boy axed his abusive father to death. Others shoot, strangle, or poison the abusers. Heck, when the Menendez brothers killed their parents, they told the world about how they had been abused. Having come from such a situation, it's very hard not to believe it. 

Furthermore, there needs to be a federal law that says that all abusive parents should be banned from adopting kids or having babies. All Abusive parents should be forced by law to have hysterectomies and vasectomies. There also need to be an Abusive Parents Registry, just like what the sex offenders are subjected to. I think these measures would get parents to think about the differences between child abuse and discipline. It's a bit extreme, but there are too many parents doing the same thing and claiming they're just "diciplining" the child. This type of thing is an EPIDEMIC.  

Child Protective Services (CPS), medical professionals, and authorities can't handle the number of abuse cases that come in every week.  

As Pastor Casey Treat once said, "You abuse your power, you lose your power." If parents know there are consequences for their actions (other than kids getting violent), they would be least likely to commit abuse in their homes. As Americans, we should not tolerate this. 

--KS Randall 

NOTE TO ALL FLAMERS:  Don't like this?  Skip the message and don't respond. Don't even think about posting a message like "Well, you put this on the message board" because you aren't going to get a response. I'm entitled to my own opinion by U.S. law (and this is a U.S. site) and you ain't going to be changing anything real soon. I refuse to talk to anyone who just wants to start flame wars. If you need to flame someone, go to http://www.blogger.com OR http://www.livejournal.com . Peace. 

I live in the Seattle, Washington area and work as a medical assistant. Sadly, there have been too many horror stories of adopted children who do re-enter abuse situations. Only the most grusome, outrageous make the news and the country's attention. The rest are told by word-of-mouth by the survivors. This event adds more problems to the child's life because they [once again] must escape abuse situations and re-enter the foster care system (which often means being passed from family to family). Where I live, there are so many kids who are sent to group homes (aka orphanages) because there aren't enough families.  

The most recent event that comes to mind is a case of a white woman who had publicly beaten her adopted black children. As a medical assistant I'm required by law to report every case of suspected abuse. Thankfully, the police in Auburn, WA, took the situation very seriously and gave the mother the ultimate smack-down. 

>> I believe the legal system is doing it's best to protect children from all the crap out there, they are just under-staffed, overwhelmed, and under-funded.<<  

You are so right. I still think that the best cure is preventing the abuse in the first place. If power-hungry, control-crazy parents know the consequences for their actions (i.e. publicly exposing the abuse they incured on their kids), they may be less likely to commit these heinous crimes.  

For starters, this isn't the "Spanking" episode. What the woman did on came during this episode was outrageous and should be in jail. I hope CPS is investigating this case. 

When parents do discipline their kids, they must always think, "What is my child learning from this form of discipline? Are they learning to do what I ask?  Are they learning not to be rude or not shoplift  or [insert what the child did wrong here]?" Some kids don't know why they've been hit. Some kids learn to bully others when people do wrong to them. Schools do teach kids that those who hit others are bullies so some kids translate the hitting as a time to fight back. . There are also alot of informed older children who know what child abuse is. When I was growing up, I was taught in both school and orthodox Christian church that there are adults who harm children, and if there was no explainable reason for being spanked, then that constituted abuse. 

Where I live (Seattle, WA area) the government is already doing forced hysterectomies/vasectomies on sex offenders. Even if the offender abused only family members, their info is made known to the public and they end up going under the knife. It's not public knowledge because of the controversy. The program has been very successful because it lets people in Washington State know the consequences of sex crimes. If people know they can be "exiled" in their own country for a hideous crime, they're less likely to do it. There are a few offenders in my area who are parents who sexually abused their own children. 

You're right in the fact that we need to known specificly what is abuse and what is discipline.The law is too vague. 

It's obvious you don't know what "Flamer" means. A Flamer is a person who says rude, vulgar comments unrelated to the post. A Flame War is when two or more people start exchanging vulgar comments and character assasination notes to each other. My goal was to make intelligent conversation with people about this subject, not scream obsenities over the Internet. So far, the NO FLAMES warning worked.  

For starters, this isn't the "Spanking" episode. What the woman did on came during this episode was outrageous and should be in jail. I hope CPS is investigating this case. 

When parents do discipline their kids, they must always think, "What is my child learning from this form of discipline? Are they learning to do what I ask?  Are they learning not to be rude or not shoplift  or [insert what the child did wrong here]?" Some kids don't know why they've been hit. Some kids learn to bully others when people do wrong to them. Schools do teach kids that those who hit others are bullies so some kids translate the hitting as a time to fight back. . There are also alot of informed older children who know what child abuse is. When I was growing up, I was taught in both school and orthodox Christian church that there are adults who harm children, and if there was no explainable reason for being spanked, then that constituted abuse. 

Where I live (Seattle, WA area) the government is already doing forced hysterectomies/vasectomies on sex offenders. Even if the offender abused only family members, their info is made known to the public and they end up going under the knife. It's not public knowledge because of the controversy. The program has been very successful because it lets people in Washington State know the consequences of sex crimes. If people know they can be "exiled" in their own country for a hideous crime, they're less likely to do it. There are a few offenders in my area who are parents who sexually abused their own children. 

You're right in the fact that we need to known specificly what is abuse and what is discipline.The law is too vague. 

It's obvious you don't know what "Flamer" means. A Flamer is a person who says rude, vulgar comments unrelated to the post. A Flame War is when two or more people start exchanging vulgar comments and character assasination notes to each other. My goal was to make intelligent conversation with people about this subject, not scream obsenities over the Internet. So far, the NO FLAMES warning worked.  

I happen to be a medical assistant, and I know that current studies on the "chemical imbalance" issue are inconclusive, which means it can exist or not exist. 

I had a grandma who owned 100 cats at any given time in her home. She was a Wiccan and her goddess was Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess. All her cats were treated as human beings because they were seen as the goddess' herself. The animals were fed, watered, and given medical care. Most had come from abusive homes (like her white cat, "Blue Eyes") and others were feral. All of the felines were unusually calm around her, but the animals became wild with anyone my grandma didn't like (like my mom's extended family).

When my family visited for Thanksgiving in 1991, I actually witness her giving the cats a Thanksgiving offering, which was a full sized, cooked turkey. Once the cats were satisfied, we were allowed to eat. Sadly, this disgusted my mom, who had been raised Catholic and later became a Fundementalist Christian. Because of my mom, my family was forced to celebrate Thanksgiving at my Uncle Leo's, where we had tamales instead of turkey.

Anyways, it's not much difference from people in India worshipping the cow.

On another note, it is a fact that some pagans and Wiccans still hide their religion for fear of discrimination, so when I see a situation like this, I can't help but wonder if this person is a neo-pagan or Wiccan.

I understand that the issue is about the 200 cats, but this lady is on a 10 acre lot of land. The trailer made it look like she was living in a suburban home, outside the city. Ten acres is big enough for a cattery, and her neighbors shouldn't stick their noses in her business.

The question in this case is:  Are the cats themselves causing damage to the neighbors' homes?  From what I've seen, absolutely not.

As an anthropologist and medical assistant, I don't see this lady taking things too far. I hate to say this to everyone, but Dr. Phil is using his own personal beliefs to determine how to fix this situation. He obviously hasn't met and lived with people who have kept this many domestic animals before. I've been there and done that, so it's easy for me to be compassionate to those who are like this lady. As long as the animals are well-cared for, I don't see a problem with keeping 200 cats. In this episode, Dr. Phil reminds me of another famous pop-psychologist, Dr. Laura, who uses her personal, conservative beliefs to "diagnose" her patients. There is no science to determine the "diagnosis." There are also no cultural, religious, or individual considerations taken into account. Dr. Phil's advice is like a one-size-fits-all T-shirt:  while few people find it looks good on them, on some the shirt looks like a potato sack while on others it is much too tight.

I still say there may be a religious reason for keeping this many cats. I also personally believe that God makes people who find it easier to relate to animals and plants than to people. There is nothing wrong with that. Those people are designated to be caretakers in this world. I've met people who spend their entire life defending [and researching] certain plants. Again, there is nothing wrong with that.

If I were in her shoes, I would find another place and leave. And above all, don't tell anyone where you are going. That way the nosy types don't follow.  Who wants nosy neighbors around them? 

I, myself, have recently dealt with nosy, racist neighbors who have harassed my family over trees on our property. These people hired a tree removal service to destroy our property because the trees created privacy for us. They went so far as to call the police after informing the lumberjacks that the flora was on my property. Everyone was surprised when I enacted the 4th, 5th, and 6 amendments of the constitution by saying stuff like, "I don't consent your presense on my property. And I will not answer any questions or sign any papers without the presense of my lawyer." When the police got offended and tried to scare an answer out of me, I told them, "This issue is for the courts to decide." Then I repeated the 4th, 5th, and 6th amendments to the officer, who eventually left after yelling at me for offending him. Our situation got fixed and the trees stayed. ^_^

I agree that, in the meantime, she should consult an animal rights lawyer to fight off any lawsuits the neighbors are trying to pin on her.