Messages By: bentien

Hi everyone, just a little message from Denmark. This is my first message and the first time I`m telling someone that I´m bulimic. I thought was doing better. Thought that I finally had figured out what to do with my life. But lately everything has gone wrong and I don´t know what to do. Everything seems hopeless and I feel like I´m in this dark place where no one can see or hear me. Most of the time I just feel like giving up. 

I don´t know what to do any more. I will never get better and the thought of ending this is getting more and more real. I wish I had someone to talk to but no one knows how I feel and I don´t know how to ask for help. People think that I`m strong and happy. In their eyes I´m the person who can handle everything, the person with all the right answers. If they only knew the real me, they would know that I´m confused, scared, lonely etc. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes - I´m tired. 

God bless you too. It´s hard to tell what´s going on. I don´t really know. Everything just feels sad and I just feel so lonely and ashamed. I just wish that I had someone to talk to, but I don´t, so I have to do this on my own - which frightens me. 

I look in the mirror but who is it that I see? 26 years old and I still don´t know who I am. It´s like I´ve lost myself. Like I´ve forgotten myself in a shop or in a bus. Nothing feels right, nothing tastes good. I feel like I´m drowning or choking and I have no one to turn to. What´s wrong with me? What am I worth? 

Sometimes I look at my family as they sit together, and it´s like they have a special way of being together which doesn´t include me. 

People will disappoint you. I get that, I more or less expect that, but what if you one day realize that you are the disappointment? Right now I´m so sick and tired og living a lie that sometimes I wish I would die. 

Hi. 

Just wanted to say thanks for your kind words and support. It has really meant a lot to me. Well I.... .. - Don´t know how to explain, so never mind. 

Take care 

Hi! 

Is it just me or is it normal to be so tired all the time? Just want to stay in bed, it takes a huge effort to take a shower or to go to the shop. Just want to be alone, I don´t answer the phone and avoid my friends and family. Wish I could stay alone in my apartment forever and that this nigtmare and negative thoughts would end. I thought things would get better but right now I don´t know what to think anymore and I can´t really see a future. 

Take care. 

Chloe 

Just wanted to say hi.  

It´s been a while since I´ve been here - haven´t really been in the mood for talking lately or for explaining what´s going on at the moment. 

Take care. 

Just wanted to say hi. 

Have only been here a couple of times. I don´t know what to do any more. Every day is a battle and I feel so alone. No one knows how I´m feeling, no one knows that I´m sick and what I´m going through every day. I just want to disappear, to close my eyes and escape from everything. Have no one to talk to, no one to hold me. I watch the people around me and see their smiling faces. I smile back at them and pretend to be what they want me to be - happy, strong etc. 

I´m scared of my thoughts.I fight to keep my head above water, but I don´t know how long I can do that anymore. Please help me.