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Well, dugh!

He said at the beginning all of the guests expected someone else make a change in their world

Something not mentioned about the chocolate:

caffeine!

If she doesn't get caffeine anywhere else, she's getting it from the chocolate and has a caffiene addition. If she gets caffeine somewhere else (e.g, coffee), she's increasing the strength of that addiction.

...you're a woman, right?

I already knew where Dr. Phil was going to go and knew he was smart enough to not say: "as long as you live under this roof..." Yes, I'm a man. But I see it no different than wearing makeup or other "optional" elements.  I do, however, despite having no daughters, understand the issue of a girl wearing a bra, even if she hasn't started to develop, either because she just wants to (fiat) or if a classmate has one, even if she hasn't started to develop.  That's one of those things which is simply something you just do. I do know this and I know a lot of women who have daughters and don't understand it. [because I've heard them discuss it]

As far as a burka goes, didn't you listen to him about hiding them away in snowsuits?  I think you were rather choosy about what you did or didn't pay attention to. I think he pushed your buttons early on, you formed an opinion as to how many bubbles off plumb he was and didn't listen to everything and why. And remember what he has pointed out, time & time again:  if there isn't a solid+positive relationship with an adult male, hopefully their father, the greater the opportunity for "problems" later.  Dr. Phil didn't say, "no skirts or shorts".  The only argument was over length.  The difference between two or three inches isn't as big a factor as "no skirts".

No one is disputing shorts skirts serving a purpose as you cite.  When I was in school, girls could wear skirts or shorts but guys couldn't wear shorts...of any length. Not even when it was "hotter than a cathouse on dollar days" (or if you prefer a "cleaner" metaphor, "hotter than a prairie fire")  With no A/C in the classrooms.  Now that is discrimination.  Would you have taken the initiative by seeing the inequality and overtly campaigned without any benefit to yourself, for some type of equality under those circumstances?  (I didn't think so)

No one says you have to do what he says and you've emphatically said as much. I loved your comment about getting them neutered.  That definitely displayed your gender and the fact you don't have any sons..  What you're forgetting isn't what guys think about them.  Guys can sit & watch women walk around and make private comments. That has no bearing upon the women.  Where it's crucial is when attention is paid to them.  When the girls who are a bit more provactive in their dressing get 1::1 attention from the guys and the "plain" girls don't, you know who is going to change the way they dress. And if they meet resistance at home, they'll make sure their parents regret being in charge.  I have a feeling your attitude demonstrates this might have been how it was in your household and your relationship with your parents.

You're going to do what you're going to do and no one is looking to throw you into prison for your perspective. 

So why get your thong in a knot?

It's too bad the web staff hasn't upgraded the board software to an updated version which permits you to pick & choose what is retained from the message you're replying to.  It would make things far easier to read & deal with.  I know a lot of people start banging and posting without really crafting a message.  Your message is a case of where there's a lot of good material to follow up on.  And it's difficult not being able to intersperse my reply with your post and remove the parts which aren't germane to what I have to say.

In terms of finding a 6.5cm lump, that's just over two inches (2.54cm=1inch)!  How could you not find that via self-examination? Even for overweight women who have larger breasts because of fat should be able to find something of that size.

As far as the diagnostic tool used, there's something which isn't paraded in the news

(I read too much - six newspapers daily, a lot of magazines...the missus wasn't quite prepared twenty years ago for how much and how fast information I can process & store away, and see how to connect the dots.She knows to blame it on my mom. She taught me to read when I was two and continually says it's what inspired her to become a teacher. She said she didn't know what to do or how to do it, so it was letters on blocks, magnetic words on a board, then the newspaper when it arrived every morning.)

Back to point.

What isn't thown about in the press and should generate a bit more attention is this:  for a lump to show up on a mammogram, it is likely (on average) to have had the core cells at least ten years.  Here in Indiana ("There's more than corn in Indiana" as an amusement park advertises), biomedical things are getting a lot of attention, in the press (not just business magazines or business sections, news.. period), in financial investments, everything. The orthopedic captial of the world is where I grew up (Warsaw): Zimmer, Biomet, Depuy, Othy, and a few others I don't know about as occasionally a crew will get together and start something even more cutting edge; e.g., Biomet, a big company was started by a single employee from Zimmer.

Indiana and Purdue University each are focusing heavily on biomedical research. There's a branch of both here in Indianapolis as a single school (IUPUI - Indiana University / Purdue University at Indianapolis) and you can get your degree from either college.  At least four large ethanol plants are in or will be in operation soon.

Anyway.  Purdue University is currently working on a blood test which would provide for a woman the same information men can get in a PSA.  They're working with larger samples (a test tube or less) and will scale down as they learn more. A PSA isn't all-definitive, but if something shows up...for me, I'm forty-four, I was cleared by my urologist (a woman - my choice) five years ago to wait until I'm fifty. I was passing a little blood and made an appointment immediately.  She scoped me, didn't find anything. It stopped, then started again. It turned out she'd accidentally nicked me just enough so when the clot slipped off, the blood came back.  That's when she decided to scope everything. Carefully.  It would appear I can sympathize with a close, older relative who, in the process of treatment for prostate cancer discovered bladder cancer, likely saving his life. The prostate treatment, however, had some side effects and he has to catheritize himself every day for a year.  Not something I would enjoy, even though I learned to start an IV on myself (the best way to learn) and had to perform the injection to give blood when the technician was tearing up my arm. After about four tries, I told her to give me the needle or I'd walk. (I'm O+. A near universal donor, which is O-)  They needed the blood, my partner dared me, and they brought a nurse out to watch to make sure I didn't kill myself.  Those were the days as a teen-aged EMT.

Finally, but likely very interesting (n.b.): Fat and cancer. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but take alook at the newest issue of Discover magazine.  It shows a nude, obese man curled up in the corner of a room.  One of the bulleted articles is something like "Fat: there are several types and one is deadly."

So now we have a mother who is afraid her baby will get sick in an airplane.

She's only worried about her baby? Let's turn it around:

What about the passengers when the baby decides to have a screaming fit.

If she's worried about germs and we're going to listen to a contestant for the "I can scream louder and longer than anyone else has been around", I can promise I'm going to start  blowing my nose and coughing.

I find this and sitting in restaurants where one of the adults won't move to the buffer area between the two sets of entrance door.  "I paid for my food and I have a right to eat it when & where I want."  We tip 30%-35% as a rule. But if there's a screamer: (to the waitstaff):  "Silence or remove the kid or your tip is gone." That's when there's a visit from the manager. ("We can't ask them to cooperate"  "Because it's a family restaurant and you're afraid they won't come back.  Right. Parents who tip 12%.  I've seen parents change their diaper right in the middle of the aisle. They were escorted out when it was obvious it wasn't sanitary, the parents didn't make a trip to wash their hands, and, it would have only taken one call to the BOD (Board of Health)

The other place where it's bad is in theatres.  M&D can't or won't get a sitter and bring them in, just as they do for 2-3-4 year olds.  Boredom occurs after three or four minutes and we all get to hear them yak-yak-yak.  "Hey! We paid to come here and we're getting our money's worth.

Thank goodness there are places which serve food & drinks to your table and it's 21+

I wish I'd beenable to get this through the filters in advance of the first segment today.

There's something which Dr. Phil isn't mentioning and I stole it (paraphrased) from "The Bridge Across Forever", by Richard Bach ("Jonathon Livingston Seagull")

In the, his future wife writes him a letter because he made himself unavailable when she most needed him. He saw them only a friends and while it was known to both of them, he didn't think about where they were.

She explained how they each viewed their|a relationship, particularly for each.other.

He saw it as a chess game. Where the object is to demolish the other. There's always a winner and loser.

What she envisioned was like instruments in a symphony, where they could pool their life experiences, past and present, and they'd complement each other individually as well together.

When my mother left my her ex (I have a hard time who was so abusive he had too moods: anger and no emotion; physical, emotional, and verbal.  I don't refer to him in his biological role for me.

Back to point.

She was very,  very scared and waited somewhere a week or two and called us. I told her to hang up, that all would be good in the long run.  I tracked down my book, called her, and read the letter from Leslie to Richard.  Mom realized she was walking away from a chess match where she always lost.  We talked for a long, long time.  That was twelve years ago.  She's since married to someone who treats her like a queen -- the same way Dr. Phil expresses knowing Robin is the best treated in a room crowded with women.

Anyone interested in a good description of a mature, adult relationship would be very wise to give it a shot.

Here's the book, with very low rates: http://tinyurl.com/2uvebo

Enjoy.

As far as knowing where he is?

Cell phone providers are required to emit a GPS beacon. 

Some people (in the technical world) have created web pages when something of great work or interest and people enjoy these things make them available for everyone to track it.

What this guy is going to have to commit a new cell phone where his location is known.

If he:

1)  "lost or /misplaced" the phone

2)  "The battery died.  There are chargers, both and a wall at work or in automobiles with a cigarette  adapter. And that doesn't take long to recharge.  keep a second,  charged, fully in his pocket or briefcase.

3) hand it off to a buddy who needed one and he didn't get it back to him.

4) yadda yadda yadda.

How many points does he have to accumulate before he's out?  One and done.  If it happens second time, it's more an a coincidence.

The bottom line is:  The new cell phones function like this and think of them just like someone has an ankle belt around his leg and if he moves too far away,  Beep! They've just violated their the terms of their parole have are done.  You don't want to have that but you can look at any time. you can know when and where he is.  It can be know the rules & what counts:

Perhaps something as open (for you) is, "If you do something which you wouldn't do if the lights were on and you know I'm standing here." That's where everyone screwed up when the issue of Clinton screwed up.  Hillary and|or the press should have put to him." We won't examine the issues of multi-person, yadda, yadda. The bottom line is she'll have to be with him and it'll be obvious with those items I've listed + anything I've overlooked.

Yes, I'm writing things as a male who has a technical background, but it would have been a nice contribution.

I know what a BBW is (Big beautiful Women or Woman).

But are they all beautiful?

Is there a BWB such a thing as BUB (Big Ugly Woman)?

I really am serious about this: I've never had a good answer for it.

We just finished our twentieth anniversary (we got engaged after six weeks of dating), so we've got our eyes open (I hope) despite my being a bit younger and two years out of college.

No inked prenups.  One verbal prenup:  I work in high-tech and could easily drag her around the country, particularly to Silicon Valley.  She requested staying within a relatively short distance from her parents.  We're in Indianapolis. Her parents live about eighty miles east  (Ohio State Line) and my family is two hours north of here. (about an hour south o the Michigan state line).

She's the only child of an only child (on mom's side) and has two cousins on dad's side) notice: I didn't say "her mom" or "her dad" and that's intentional.

I don't feel deprived at all.

What about assets?  Well, let's look at it this way:  it's improved, but it's still dificult in specific industries where it's still harder for a woman to move out in the open world and fend for herself regardless of why she's alone.  To offset this: Any document(s) which require names anywhere, her name appears first. I've been insistent her name is on any paperwork  which deals only with me and anything which requires both signatures, her name is first.

I've been very insistent about this from Day One.  If something happens to me, I want her to have minimal (or no) issues for coping on her own (although she's the one who manages the money as I don't do very well in that category.  So my paychecks are either signed over for deposit or it's direct-deposit.  I try to let her know in advance if I'm buying something, albeit small, or afterwards if something springs up.

Do I feel vulnerable? No.

Am I a sucker? I don't think so.

I like going to the chick flix.  I like the closing from Murphy's Romance. And here's my take: I'm in love[1] for both the first and last time.  I don't just "love" her, I'm still "in love" with her.

She crashes early at night because she goes to work early to get some work done before everyone else gets to the office.  If I see it snowing after she's gone to bed, I'll make sure her SUV is cleaned off, that the path to the driver's side doors are cleared (I'd use the snow-blower but at night, that would be a no-go) - she puts her purse in via the second door.  I still get her car door for her; store doors; if we're shopping, I carry her coat & purse so both of her hands are free.  And I don't think I've ever prodded her to speed up, or ask how much longer it will take (my grandmother says that's because my grandfather was that way). If she's looked at something and not been sure if it'll look right I've put it up in front of me so she could see it from a distance. If I'm getting something out of a container for both of us, I take what's in the old container (less it be a little less quality than something new) then she gets the fresh stuff.

Dad & I were talking a few months ago and something came up about one of them passing (which I hate to discuss) but he figured out what the last thing I would say to one of them as they are passing:  "<X> will always be taken care of, no matter what it takes."

I've got such a sweet deal. It's better than winning the lottery every day.

First, she is breaking the law and isn't paying the fine(s).  Is that penalty growing with interest? How long should it run before the zoning board or city confiscate the land in lieu of the penalty?

Now for the important questions.  These can sound conniving, but I'll point out why:.

Remember with President Clinton said he didn't have sex with Monica.  What should have been asked of him was: "Did you do anything you wouldn't do in front of your wife?"

Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies.

When Dr. Phil asked her neihbor if he poisoned the cats, he paused, then said, "No".  Follow-up questions should be "Did you put something accessible to the cats which would allow them to poison themselves.  A form of suicide if you will. "If the didn't drink it, they wouldn't have died".

In the situation of her driveway being blocked, the neighbor denied it.  "Did you see or do you know who did it (or might have done it?)"

When people are posed open-ended questions, they can answer in a way they choose to.  You can call it semantics, but if you are put into a losing position, how tempting is it to give in to it and worm your way out of it?

These sound like unfeeling questions, but it's a matter of precision...getting to the to the truth, which is what matters.  Everyone has the right to refuse answering, but the effort is to be used to determine the truth.

______________________

One last item.

When someone is marching through a crowd, declaring their innocence.  My question would be, "But if you did do it, would you tell us (right now)?"

If they think about it, their answer would have to be "Yes".

Should it turn out they are convicted, the cry would be, "You told us you'd admit to your guilt if you did it and you're convicted. How do you explain this?"