Messages By: kraziegirl

Hi Buffy,

I know exactly how you feel.  My grandpa died just a month ago and I can't believe that he's gone either.  I know it's only been a month but I do know what you are going through, it's hard.  I have some regrets about it all, like the day before he died (he died on father's day) I was working and my mom came in to my work to tell me that she was going to go visit him, and now that I think of it, I should have too after I was finished, but I didn't and now I wish I had, you know, just to say sorry one more time.  All my family members tell me that he knew without a doubt that I loved him, and I'm sure he did but in my heart I wish I could just tell him one more time. 

I guess all I can say Buffy is that, it's normal to feel this way and that it will take lots of time, especially if you were used to seeing him a lot.  Just remember all the great times you have had with him and treasure them, because that's something that will never leave you. 

One thing that helps me is I write my grandpa letters, not every day but some days, just to tell  him what I'm up to, or how I'm feeling, basically just anything that I would say to him as if he were here.  Also, try spending a day with your grandma if you can.  That seems to help as well, at least it does for me.

Well, I hope I have helped you some.  My thoughts are with you. 

My story goes like this...about a couple of months ago this guy that I work with and I started to hang out just as friends to begin with, but then we got involved (we had sex) and then it kind of faded a little bit, then one night we had a talk and he told me that he didn't have those feelings for me like he once did and that because we're now friends, we can't do that stuff (sexual stuff) anymore, so I was like, "that's fine, I respect ur decision".  Then, at work a couple of weeks ago he started talking to me more and phoning me more.  Also, he was getting jealous because this other guy was flirting with me and hitting on me, and stuff like that.  Then, last friday he phoned me and we talked a bit on the phone and he started saying stuff like,  "this guy wants you, so bad, I can tell, he wants in your pants, so are you 2 going to hook up?"  Then I answered, "if it happens, it happens" then he said, "well would you do it with anyone?"  and I was like, "no...I'd have to know the person for a while before I do that" then he asked, "would you do it with some one you've already been with?" and I was like, "well it depends on the guy"  and I told him that I wanted another job and he was like, "well, I like working with you every day and seeing you every day" but now, it's like he is backing off again and I am just wondering if 2 people who have had sex, can be friends?  Also, what is this guy trying to tell me? 

You are right that I haven't had much experience with guys.  I am 22 years old, and yes, I am young.   

I have heard that saying and what u said about him having me on a hook I believe that.  My friends have told me the same thing about him.  Thing is, if he didn't want to be my friend, then why didn't he just say that in the first place?  He could have said, "look, I am not sure if I want to be friends with you any more" I mean, it doesn't hurt to be honest with some one, right? 

Ok, what I don't understand is how can a guy go from being really nice to you and being sweet to you, to ignoring you and treating you like garbage?  I mean, literally, one day last week he was really nice to me and stuff like that, then last thursday he totally ignored me and I haven't talked to him since.  Thing is, last friday, he was worried who I was hooking up with and who I wasn't and now he just doesn't care?  I don't get that.....call me stupid, because I MUST be stupid.  Now, thing is, he has another girl....I don't know if he's dating her or what but yeah, I have heard he has another girl, which is fine, but if he said he wants to be my friend, wouldn't he want to still be my friend?  Girl or no girl? 

Anyway, all my friends are wise and tell me that I should just forget him all together and stuff like that...and I agree, but it's hard when he's the first guy that I have slept with..... 

Hello there!  I am stuck on something.... a lot of people I know have these, "friends with benefits" as they call them, and I was curious, just what exactly is a friend with benefits?  Like, what if your emotions got involved, like what if they found another person to be with, etc.   

Just curious..... that's all..... 

I am having this problem with one of my guy "friends".  You see, for over 6 months he said he "loved" me, so I started to have those feelings for him too, but then he told me that I was too late and that he doesn't see himself with me and that he was dating this girl who he really liked, and that we can still be friends.  Now, here's the confusing part for me, he then goes and asks my best friend out on a date!  And he said, "I just said that to say something to Andrea" to my best friend.  So, he wants to be my "friend" but to me, "friends" don't do that to eachother, at least not in my books.... so what I would like to know is, what's the deal with him?  

I'd really appreciate the feedback......