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Messages By: kraziegirl

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July 25, 2005, 4:03 pm CDT

I would like to know...

Lately things have not been good with my mom and step dad.  The situation is hard on both me and my mom.  You see, my step dad lives in California, and my mom and I live here in Canada, but that's the least of my mom's worries right now.  My step dad told my mom back in January I believe, that he needed a 3 month period where they didn't communicate at all, for one thing, why would he need a 3 month period?  I mean, he says he loves my mom and I but you know, we're both doubtful, so if he truly loves us then why does he need that 3 months?  Anyway, so my mom said, "fine" and they had a break for a while, but then grandpa (my mom's dad) died and well basically there was no sympathy from him towards us.  See, what is REALLY making my mom so sad is that if my step dad doesn't want to be with her or doesn't love her anymore, why can't he just tell her that instead of treating her like this.  I mean, one minute he's all "I love you" then the next he's all "leave me alone" and I don't get it either.  My mom hasn't done ANYTHING to him at all, in fact she's been trying to help him and this is how he treats her.  My mom has described this pain as if some one were pulling the limbs off of some animal starting with one, then doing another one.  I have seen my mom cry for weeks and it makes me sad as well because I'm only 21 and I feel there's nothing I can do to help her, so I would like to know, what can be done and to be honest, I do think this is abuse, the way he's treating her....it's not fair.
 
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July 29, 2005, 3:09 pm CDT

I know how you feel believe me!

Quote From: mylilbox17

 Hi i need help I lost my Grandfather almost 2 years ago and i still cant get over the fact that hes gone if anyone could help me in and way i would be so happy to know someone knows how i feel and can helpBuffy

Hi Buffy,

 

I know exactly how you feel.  My grandpa died just a month ago and I can't believe that he's gone either.  I know it's only been a month but I do know what you are going through, it's hard.  I have some regrets about it all, like the day before he died (he died on father's day) I was working and my mom came in to my work to tell me that she was going to go visit him, and now that I think of it, I should have too after I was finished, but I didn't and now I wish I had, you know, just to say sorry one more time.  All my family members tell me that he knew without a doubt that I loved him, and I'm sure he did but in my heart I wish I could just tell him one more time. 

 

I guess all I can say Buffy is that, it's normal to feel this way and that it will take lots of time, especially if you were used to seeing him a lot.  Just remember all the great times you have had with him and treasure them, because that's something that will never leave you. 

 

One thing that helps me is I write my grandpa letters, not every day but some days, just to tell  him what I'm up to, or how I'm feeling, basically just anything that I would say to him as if he were here.  Also, try spending a day with your grandma if you can.  That seems to help as well, at least it does for me.

 

Well, I hope I have helped you some.  My thoughts are with you. 

 

 

 
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July 31, 2005, 1:01 pm CDT

Giving and Receiving Support

Quote From: mylilbox17

Hey thank you sooo much! if you wanna talk im here for you also, like you were for me. My advice to you is dont keep everything bottled up inside, thats how things turn bad. I really thank you for shareing your story with me. Im so glad some one can relate to how i feel to. I hope we can help each other through this. Buffy! Thank you soooo Much
It was no problem telling you my story.  It's just when I was reading your story I was like, "I am going through the same thing, exactly!"  I do have to share something else with you.  When I was working yesterday at my job, I got a flashback of that day before my grandpa died and it really made me feel sad.  Anyway, I am happy that I could relate to you.  And it was not problem at all.  *Andrea*
 
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October 2, 2005, 7:35 pm CDT

I need some advice please....

Ok, I am not sure which category this goes under but I need some advice on a certain issue I have been having lately, it involves a guy, of course.  You see, we were "seeing" eachother for a while until we had sex.  Then I started feeling that he was just using me.... we had a talk about it, he told me he wasn't and then things were fine then we did it again and now things aren't going anywhere.  I mean, he told me that communication is key in a relationship, I TOTALLY agree with him, BUT, when I ask him what's bothering him he won't tell me, then I find out later what he's feeling or thinking.  One night we were text messaging and we kind of got into an arguement so he said he would prefer if we talked about it in person, so thursday night we went out for coffee and then he asked me, "is there something you wanted to talk about at all?" like, why can't HE talk about what's up with HIM?  Why do I have to be the one to say what's on my mind.  He has told me that he doesn't think I care anymore and that he doesn't know what he wants.  It's like he can't admit that he doesn't want me and I just want to know why?  Like, I did care for him, I did like him but I can't be treated this way, it's not going to work if it keeps up..... so any advice I'd really appreciate it.... thanks..
 
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November 10, 2005, 5:20 pm CST

Wondering something

My story goes like this...about a couple of months ago this guy that I work with and I started to hang out just as friends to begin with, but then we got involved (we had sex) and then it kind of faded a little bit, then one night we had a talk and he told me that he didn't have those feelings for me like he once did and that because we're now friends, we can't do that stuff (sexual stuff) anymore, so I was like, "that's fine, I respect ur decision".  Then, at work a couple of weeks ago he started talking to me more and phoning me more.  Also, he was getting jealous because this other guy was flirting with me and hitting on me, and stuff like that.  Then, last friday he phoned me and we talked a bit on the phone and he started saying stuff like,  "this guy wants you, so bad, I can tell, he wants in your pants, so are you 2 going to hook up?"  Then I answered, "if it happens, it happens" then he said, "well would you do it with anyone?"  and I was like, "no...I'd have to know the person for a while before I do that" then he asked, "would you do it with some one you've already been with?" and I was like, "well it depends on the guy"  and I told him that I wanted another job and he was like, "well, I like working with you every day and seeing you every day" but now, it's like he is backing off again and I am just wondering if 2 people who have had sex, can be friends?  Also, what is this guy trying to tell me? 

 
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November 14, 2005, 4:04 pm CST

Thank you....

Quote From: cygne88

How old are you? You sound quite young and inexperienced with guys. 

  

I will tell you one thing about guys. You know the saying, men only want one thing? Well for the most part, it's true. This guy is keeping you on the hook for when he runs out of other girls to have sex with. He is not your friend. He's a user. Second of all, he has no right to be jealous of another guy when it comes to you. You are not a couple!  

  

To answer your question, if a guy is your friend before you have sex, and I mean really your friend, on an emotional level, then he'll be your friend whether you have sex or not. 

  

I hope this helps. I'm 48 and I do have experience with men. I"ve been married to one for a lo-o-o-ng time! Probably more years than you have been on this Earth. 

You are right that I haven't had much experience with guys.  I am 22 years old, and yes, I am young.   

  

I have heard that saying and what u said about him having me on a hook I believe that.  My friends have told me the same thing about him.  Thing is, if he didn't want to be my friend, then why didn't he just say that in the first place?  He could have said, "look, I am not sure if I want to be friends with you any more" I mean, it doesn't hurt to be honest with some one, right? 

  

Ok, what I don't understand is how can a guy go from being really nice to you and being sweet to you, to ignoring you and treating you like garbage?  I mean, literally, one day last week he was really nice to me and stuff like that, then last thursday he totally ignored me and I haven't talked to him since.  Thing is, last friday, he was worried who I was hooking up with and who I wasn't and now he just doesn't care?  I don't get that.....call me stupid, because I MUST be stupid.  Now, thing is, he has another girl....I don't know if he's dating her or what but yeah, I have heard he has another girl, which is fine, but if he said he wants to be my friend, wouldn't he want to still be my friend?  Girl or no girl? 

  

Anyway, all my friends are wise and tell me that I should just forget him all together and stuff like that...and I agree, but it's hard when he's the first guy that I have slept with..... 

 
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January 27, 2006, 6:11 pm CST

What exactly is friends with benefits?

Hello there!  I am stuck on something.... a lot of people I know have these, "friends with benefits" as they call them, and I was curious, just what exactly is a friend with benefits?  Like, what if your emotions got involved, like what if they found another person to be with, etc.   

  

Just curious..... that's all..... 

 
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February 9, 2006, 7:35 pm CST

Am I crazy......or just blind?

I am having this problem with one of my guy "friends".  You see, for over 6 months he said he "loved" me, so I started to have those feelings for him too, but then he told me that I was too late and that he doesn't see himself with me and that he was dating this girl who he really liked, and that we can still be friends.  Now, here's the confusing part for me, he then goes and asks my best friend out on a date!  And he said, "I just said that to say something to Andrea" to my best friend.  So, he wants to be my "friend" but to me, "friends" don't do that to eachother, at least not in my books.... so what I would like to know is, what's the deal with him?  

  

I'd really appreciate the feedback...... 

 

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