Quote From: chdsgrlHi,
Only you know for sure what you want out of a husband, and how you want to be treated.
I wish I had seen the signs when I was dating my first husband, because if I had, I probably wouldn't have married him, but maybe since I was young at the time I didn't think I deserved any better.
I am obviously a huge proponent of taking care of your husband and your family, BUT, if there is not mutual respect and basic kindness, I don't know that I feel so inclined. I do not think anybody should walk all over you, and I don't think you should let anybody do it, either. If he is not nice to you, then why would you think you deserve that or that there aren't men out there who would treat you better?
You cannot change somebody, that's a crock. He is who he is and you are who you are. You can express your concerns, but he wil do what he wants, or feels is right for him. And all men ARE NOT like him.
After I divorced my first husband, I had two small children and I resigned myself to the fact that I would never have the loving relationship I wanted. My kids were so young, their dad was not involved with them, and I just figured I would be doing it on my own. About two years after my divorce, I met my current husband who took us all in, treats my kids like his own, and sent me four dozen roses after our first date. He sent me roses after that on a sunday just to wish me a happy sunday. He romanced me, he respected me and he listened to me. My husband is stubborn as all get out, but he knows the value of compromise and does so on a daily basis. He treats me like a worthy human being. He consults with me on decisions, he values my opinion and he thinks I am really smart. He doesn't care if I do my hair or makeup, but if he did, I would do it because I want to make him happy. I never thought I would find, and I never thought I deserved a man like him, but I did, and I do.
Anyone who puts you down for your physical appearance or anything of the like is obviously insecure about his own self. That's not your problem, it's his. He needs to own that and take responsibility for it. When I met my husband I was a size 3, and I have struggled to lose the weight after our baby was born. He never mentions it. He doesn't care. He loves the inside. He said I could shave off all my hair and knock out my teeth and he would still love me. That's the kind of man you want and deserve.
We haven't been without our problems, but we overcome them together. We make the effort.
As much as I believe in staying home (with kids) and taking care of the home, it's not solely your responsibility especially because you work and contribute in that way. He can make his own breakfast, and he can make you breakfast, too. Then maybe you would be more willing to do it sometimes. It's a give and take. Not take, take, take.
You have to make these kinds of decisions on your own because no matter what I or anybody else says, you live with the end result. When thinking about your decision, just remember that you are a beautiful , intelligent woman and deserve the very best.
I will be thinking of you.
Diana - from the show
Girl - you need some professional counseling!!! My word - haven't you ever heard "why buy the cow when the milk is free?" Your first major mistake was moving in together. Sounds to me like you never expected him to marry you. If what you say is REALLY what you want then I suggest you find yourself a nice little apartment some where and start finding out who YOU really are before you look for someone to share the rest of your life with. You seem to really not know just what it is you really want.
