Messages By: ghstwheel

 It's not about the food.  That is a symptom of something else, whether medical or emotional. Just saying "Don't eat that." is like telling someone with a food addiction not to breathe.  While the rest of the world doesn't think about food unless they are hungry, food addicts have to consciously think about NOT eating, even when they are not hungry.  You have to fix the reason WHY they want to eat first, as in maybe Grandma is too busy to play and the child feels alone or "I'm so fat I can't do anything, so why bother."

My family bought very little junk food.  I'd scrounge money to buy it myself.  I'd spend my lunch money on junk.  I'd eat an entire box of Rice Krispies or cookies.  I'd STEAL food.  MY parents didn't make me fat by buying food-that's just a foolish concept.  I made myself fat because I felt like no one was there when I needed them and food was (still is).  My only saving grace is I love excercise, so while I'm obese, I still walk, ride a bike, play soccer, hike, etc and have no medical problems (49-no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no thyroid, no heart trouble, no narrowing of the arteries-no one can believe it)

Food addiction is usually an emotional problem-trying to fill up the empty space as the 10 year old put it (a very smart child to realize this).  In her case, it is probably the difficulties between her parents she is picking up on. For the younger ones, it may be not having much time with mom because she has to work.  But until you can fix the void, having parents taking the food away won't fix the problem.  It might help, but it won't be solved.  The kids will find food somewhere else. 

If you haven't lived it, you probably don't get it. It's a sucky experience thing.

 From what I heard, Jeanne beat her sisters. But they did not get sexually abused by the father. Did I get that correct?  If that is so, Jeanne probably figured in her warped reality that if she beat her sisters properly, then her father wouldn't molest them, thereby saving them from a fate "worse" than what they were getting (which BTW may actually be true). 

I found it bizarre that Sarah's main concern was that she only has a fourth grade education (?).  I think I must have mis-interpreted that.  And it's no wonder Jeanne couldn't face her siblings since all Mirriam could say was "You hurt me."  My goodness, you're beaten, raped, tortured, made to beat your siblings, possibly trying to keep them from getting it even worse, knowing that you're doing the wrong thing, have no idea how to make it better, finally get out and have to straighten out your own head before you can be of any use to anyone else, and at least one of your siblings is upset because you haven't kept in touch, but all she wants to say is "You hurt me."   I can't even get my head around that. "You didn't keep in touch so I could yell at you for what you did." is how it came across, and I'll bet Mirriam didn't even realize that.

I hope these women all get the help they need.  It could have been any of them, Jeanne just happened to be oldest.

 I don't think most people here realize that the couple who got the wrong ring would most likely have no idea they got the wrong one.  If the setting was the same, but the diamond was a quarter carat larger or was of greater quality, they would not have known the difference.  The averge person can't tell a single cut from a brilliant cut or a fair cut from a premium cut. If it looks brighter, they figured it was really, really cleaned well.  After all, the person who gave them the ring at the store din't notice, now did she/he? I've known many people take their rings in to be cleaned, only to have an unscrupulous jeweler trade out diamonds, and the owners never notice. 

In addition, that $800 difference was really only a couple of hundred actual cost to the store, the rest was markup, so you'd think if they made the mistake, they'd offer to settle for what they were out of pocket.  I'm sure the couple just didn't know what to do because the ring have significant sentimental value at that point, yet they did not have an extra $800.00 to spend, which would add up to considerably more at 18% on a credit card. (How about the jewelry store offering no interest payments since they screwed up? Didn't happen, did it? I'll bet the couple would have jumped on that one.)