Messages By: aflagg74

I am a young mother of going on 2, in August!! yay! And this story makes me appreciate my husband soo much! We had first gotten pregnant with my first child before we were married, actually we had only been dating for like 2 months, i was on the depo shot, and when we found out that we were pregnant ( and i say WE because we both did it! Trust me..no immaculate conception here, although that would have made my dad happy =0) ) i was the one freaking out, and here was this guy i just met, who was just as suprised as i was ,consoling me! He took responsibility  from day one! We were young and our careers had just started but we embraced this child. I ended up having a miscarriage several weeks later, which is something we BOTH still mourn today. We consider that child a gaurdian angel to my 2 year old, who has suprisingly not broken anything yet..he is very adventurous!    

 Any ways on to the topic....Around the time i was going to have a child, my two best friends got pregnant. Unfortunately ,i think it might have to do with age they were both 19, the fathers of their children decided take this guys stand on things. Let me tell you, both of these babies were pill babies, none of the parents had planned the pregnancies, but my friends did what people are supposed to do when they get pregnant....which is grow the F up, and take care of your child! The guys, who dont pay child support, think they have gotten off scott free. But any parent knows thats not the case. Kids grow up soo fast! Once deadbeat dads decide to be in the picture again, its too late! Even if your gone for a few months, its too long, you will never get that time back.  

Its sad really. I see this guy on the Dr. Phil show and i almost pee my pants laughing! He is soo pathetic! Basically it wasnt a planned pregnancy, and this guy thinks that just because he "isnt ready" that he shouldnt have to have any responsibility. Translated into english : he didnt like this girl, and doesnt want to pay child support! If he wasnt having to come out of pocket, he would really care less about the "mans rights". Oh and men do have rights..keep it in, or whip it out! Oh and because this isnt the 1700's anymore there is also the "right" to buy contraceptives..and use them, the WHOLE time. This guy is crazy! Woulnt it be funny if the whole world thought like him...hmmm i wonder what my mortgage company would say if i told them that i wasnt ready for the responsibility of making house payments!  Should criminals have the right to protest going to prison because they thought that they were committing the perfect crime and werent under the impression that there would be consequences? No different. This guy is just trying to get out of jail free!  

 To me, he is a typical LOSER, and this child is far better off without him. For every one loser dad there are 100 great ones, and i am sure the child mother will find a great guy to be a father figure to her beautiful baby. As for this guy..i dont think we have to worry about him getting anyone else pregnant. I dont know one woman ,who after seeing this pathetic waste of space, who would actually give him the time of day...looks like coming on the show solved his problem for good!! 

"Play you pay"??!  

The only one that pays are MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why the hell that if two people have concentual sex the MAN automatically pays!!!? The woman is automatically off the hook for the outragous financial oblibation!  

How about play and WOMEN start paying. You want equal rights then YOU pay. Stop taking all you can get and sticking all the responsibiltiy on MEN. Get a job and pay your own way through life. We dont owe you anything. Get a job!  

Do what all the women do. Sue her for back child support and buy you a lake house to go fishing! If your x-wife had that opportunity she would have already sued you from "Hell to Breakfast" by now. Of course if she doesnt pay they wont do anything anyway! She is a WOMAN! Nothing happens to them! Just ol DAD!
  

As I was catching up on last week's episodes, this one really disturbed me.  I can't imagine a grown, mature adult acting so selfishly.  It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, once you have unprotected sex; the consequences are yours.  If you don't want children; abstain from sex.  PERIOD!  Sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing between and man and his wife.  That is what it was meant for; not for two people who don't know if they will be together next month.  

This is just another way for men to become dead beat dads.  They want an even playing ground? I say to that, how does it feel?  Society has maintained that men are stronger, but they sure do wimp out  a lot when it comes to taking responsibility for their irresponsible behaviors.  I say grow up!  You made your bed; now lie in it! 

You had choices, you just did not make right decisions.   

NO rights?!  LOL 

I certainly hope you don't tell your son that he was unwanted by you, and that supporting him has been a 'living hell' and made you a 'victim'.   

My husband, before we were married had a relationship with a women who was gay and claimed she wanted to leave that life style because she loved him. She became pregnant and they married. He wanted to do the right thing. Six months after the baby was born she cleaned out the checking account, safety deposit box ,the house and took the vehicle he owned. She came into the relationship with just the clothes on her back. She hid for six months until she was found.  Now it is an on going court battle to see the little girl or getting her mother to at-hear to the court ordered visitation.  Not only did she do this to Paul, she became pregnant again to another man, HAD to marry him and left when that little girl was a year old. She is now living with "girlfriends" and bleeding two men for support so she does not have to work. 

I think some kind of laws or penalties need to be in place to protect men and the children these women have for the there own benefit and not the benefit of the children who obviously are at a disadvantage of not being in a two parent household. 

Thank you, Linda 

No method of schooling can guarentee a childs' success or failure in life....a home schooler or unschooler is just as likely to go on a shooting rampage as is a public school child. The last segment of school shootings, if you recall was a grown man angry with his lot in life, lashing out on a peaceful "safe" school in Amish country.... neither the shooters mood, nor the victims can be directly linked to public school.

Some people snap... others don't.

In "Bowling for Columbine", they talked to the  creators of "Southpark" who also attended Columbine and had the same feelings of exclusion, they CHOSE  a different way out!

What bothers me the most about this issue is not the choice to home school, it's the attitude that leads people to home school, not wanting other peoples rules, wanting to choose what to learn when ...that leads to this "right of entitlement" attitude that is making this world nuts.

 "if I don't want to do it... I don't have to" or the obvious flip side of this "if I want to do it, you can't tell me that I can't"

And parents who decided the rules are the problem, not their childrens' behaviours or choices. (public schoolers getting these messages too, don't get me wrong)

I see these kids all around me -regardless of how they are schooled- imposing their "choices" on those around them. I, myself am tired of being subjected to other people imposing themselves into my life and wanting me to accomodate their philosophy while silmutaneously stomping on mine.

We are raising generations of kids that feel they deserve things simply for showing up because throughout their childhood they were allowed to "do or not do" on a whim.

Employers are throwing their hands in the air at comments like "well I just didn't want to get out of bed today... but I still get paid right?" (actual comment of one of my brothers employees)

The alternative is not to raise "factory working drones" ( i think that was the comment on the show) the alternative is to raise humans that know they have a valuable place in society that effects the valuable place held by those around them. The ripple of our choices.......

I think the choice in method of schooling is a less important issue than the "why"... why people are choosing this - it seems less oriented towards a higher standard of learning or academics and more about supporting the ultimately selfish world view of , to use a Dr Phil-ism " I want what I want when I want it"

You can't effect positive change in the world by only surrounding yourslf with like minded people, or by changing the rules to suit your behaviours.....the challenge in life is to experience LIFE and to LIVE within all that surrounds you!

I have kids in the public school system and I supplement this experience with other things that fall into my world view, one does not need to go to have the other.

When the protective bubble of home/un schooling bursts and these children launch into adulthood..... what will be the ripple onto all of the rest of us????

I am not sure how I feel about "unschooling". We know of only one family who are unschoolers, and those children are not doing too well on any level. The children place no value on commitments or deadlines; However, I don't believe that is indicative of the majority of unschoolers.

I am homeschooling my daughter for a number of reasons,but will detail only the major points. She did attend kindergarten in our school district and then we saw the need to do something different.

Our daughter was tested at a 2nd grade level when she was admitted to kindergarten. The teachers called me to a conference and said that my daughter actually tapped out the 2nd grade charts, but  legally they could not test her any higher, nor were they allowed to place my daughter in the 3rd grade, which they believed was the level she should be placed at.

 So my child was in kindergarten where she was sent to 1st and 2nd grade classrooms for math, and reading. In doing this, she would miss out on field trips and recess time, which were scheduled for the times she was in the other classrooms.

My daughter felt left out and lonely. She was never with other children as she was getting her teaching from a couple of para educators in the classroom,and not actually mainstreamed.

She began to have severe asthma attacks and would be sent home from school. My daughter missed alot of school due to asthma and the need for a nebulizer machine, which the school could not administer to her.

 Currently my daughter is on a 6th grade level, and if she were still in the public school, she would only be in the 3rd grade. This is a very social child. She has taken dance classes, gymnastics and is in taekwondo. She is also involved in a youth group at church.,and there is also a homeschoolinging organization in our area, which organizes sports activities and field trips as well as art and science cooperatives.

Our daughter has many advantages over children who are in public schools. She does her studies in the morning and is usually finished by lunch. Then she helps me with the daycare children, and helps bake and clean, and of course, she gets to spend alot more time playing.  She is getting hands on learning as well as book studies, and will most likely graduate at age 16.

The most important change that has taken place, is that my daughter no longer has asthma. She is a socially and emotionally well-adjusted child.

Whereas public school is not the right option for my daughter, that doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Each child is an individual with specific needs.

Education is important and the options should be researched and weighed very carefully. Each parent has the responsibility to do what is best her their own children.