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Messages By: rainbowwen

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October 1, 2005, 3:43 pm PDT

My story

I have 3 sons,  ages 18 months, 7 years old, and 9 years old.  My 7-year-old acts a lot like the child of the divorced mother on the show.  My son has a nasty temper and needs to learn to control himself.  I don't think he has anything like ADHD, I think he needs to learn to control his behavior.  He behaves himself in school, therefore I know he can do it.  However, if it were a problem 24/7, that would be different.  If he had a problem behaving in school as well, I would begin to think there may be a possible underlying physical/neurological cause. 

I think we need to also accept that boys are going to be more active, and schools are not built to suit their needs.  It is difficult for a normal active boy to sit all day in a chair, and our school now has this ridiculous policy that if you aren't done with your work, you lose your recess, which is a break any child needs, even those less physically active.  

 I also want to add that I am on Paxil for postpartum depression and anxiety from each of my births, so I know that medication is sometimes necessary.  I am not going to expect my family to live with my moodiness and obsessive-compulsive behaviors, it isn't fair to them or to myself.   It took over a year after the birth of my second child to find the right medication for me.  

 have gone off Paxil twice, and it is very difficult to go off of, but it can be done with the support of a doctor and using other medications such as Prozac temporarily while withdrawing from the Paxil.  I completely support Brooke Shields in her actions, she has done what is best for herself and her family.  I would love to see a debate between Dr. Phil and this apparently manic person known as Tom Cruise.   

 
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October 8, 2005, 9:23 pm PDT

Breastfeeding when there are older Children around

I have three sons, ages 9 and 7 years old and an 18 month old son.  I would NOT want my older two to see a mom breastfeeding her child with her breast exposed.  This would make my children uncomfortable and they are getting to the age where not only would it be funny to them but also possibly inappropriate for them to see, in my opinion.  I think breastfeeding is wonderful if you can do it, I did it with my eldest but couldn't produce enough milk after 7 weeks of trying and I had to stop.  I think it is fine IF the breast is covered, it is common-sense and courteous to others who might have older children or just might be uncomfortable with it.   

  

 
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October 10, 2005, 9:24 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: wpgangela

Yes, Mom, great strategy! You're teaching your boys to be filled with fear and disgust upon seeing a female's breast. Wow. I'm sure they'll all be great getting dates and not to mention those lucky ladies that eventually might choose to marry them one day. I am sure they will go on to someday have uncomfortable sex after much therapy and counseling, and perhaps even have children of their own. Then they can in turn feed those babies in shame and discomfort too. What's even better those children will learn too to be afraid and uncomfortable about their own bodies and so repeat the entire cycle for generations to come. Good idea. 

  

Angela 

  

PS. I am being SO very sarcastic here, I can't even express it enough. 

  

PPS. Children are born pure hearted, innocent and uncorrupted. The responsibility of a parent is to teach their children. You essentially start with a clean slate. Parents make choices everyday about how to influence, teach and guide their kids. I know I will be very careful and aware of what I decide to teach my kids. I will strive everyday to make sure my lessons are positive in nature. (IE, naked people are not evil, just merely naked.) I am not willing to pass alone my negative, destructive and corrupt "hang-ups" and impose my will upon theirs. Did you perhaps stop to consider that when your children say they are uncomfortable with any particular situation that it leaves you an open window to discuss it frankly and openly with them first? To explore the possibilities and teach them with loving guidance all of the possible positive ways of framing their concerns, and then letting them decide for themselves what they think or feel? Kids are very smart and not dumb by any stretch of the imagination. They don't need adults to think for them. They sure don't need narrow minded negative adults imposing their ill wills on them. The only reason why a child would ever be ashamed of nudity of any degree is if it was somehow TAUGHT that way to them. By you or anyone else. (It's understandably common for sexual abuse victims to have this viewpoint for example.) I don't think that truly your children are uncomfortable with Nursing in Public, anyhow. I think YOU are. I think you should seek out help if you are infact threatened by a nude human form for whatever reason. Especially if all it takes to send you over the deep end is just the sight of a tiny portion of a BF'ing mothers breast that is only exposed temporarily and only for a very practical (and essential,) use. Get help for yourself if this seems so. If your children have been corrupted and taught that boobs are disgusting for whatever reason, again, find them help. It could be quite serious. (No kidding here, I mean this.) 

 Since you don't know me and made such rash judgements, I will do that with you.  Obviously, you must have just one child who is either a girl or a very young boy, and not reading, writing, and reacting to a world where most people do what they want to do regardless of the effect it may have on those around them.  As I mentioned before, and will be happy to repeat, "I think breastfeeding is wonderful if you can do it....... I think it is fine IF the breast is covered, it is common-sense and courteous to others who might have older children or just might be uncomfortable with it."    

     With all the insensitivity and crudeness out there our children WHO ARE IN SCHOOL OR OF SCHOOL AGE are exposed to every day, we should certainly be able to expect responsible adults to keep themselves and their personal body parts covered, if for nothing else than just to be considerate of other people's feelings. 

I think it is fine if a woman breastfeeds in public, just take care to do it in a responsible and discreet manner.  I don't think that is too much to ask, although I do think you seem to be awfully defensive and nasty about your own choices; it all seems black and white to you.  Rather odd. 

      

 
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October 10, 2005, 3:12 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: wpgangela

Yes, Mom, great strategy! You're teaching your boys to be filled with fear and disgust upon seeing a female's breast. Wow. I'm sure they'll all be great getting dates and not to mention those lucky ladies that eventually might choose to marry them one day. I am sure they will go on to someday have uncomfortable sex after much therapy and counseling, and perhaps even have children of their own. Then they can in turn feed those babies in shame and discomfort too. What's even better those children will learn too to be afraid and uncomfortable about their own bodies and so repeat the entire cycle for generations to come. Good idea. 

  

Angela 

  

PS. I am being SO very sarcastic here, I can't even express it enough. 

  

PPS. Children are born pure hearted, innocent and uncorrupted. The responsibility of a parent is to teach their children. You essentially start with a clean slate. Parents make choices everyday about how to influence, teach and guide their kids. I know I will be very careful and aware of what I decide to teach my kids. I will strive everyday to make sure my lessons are positive in nature. (IE, naked people are not evil, just merely naked.) I am not willing to pass alone my negative, destructive and corrupt "hang-ups" and impose my will upon theirs. Did you perhaps stop to consider that when your children say they are uncomfortable with any particular situation that it leaves you an open window to discuss it frankly and openly with them first? To explore the possibilities and teach them with loving guidance all of the possible positive ways of framing their concerns, and then letting them decide for themselves what they think or feel? Kids are very smart and not dumb by any stretch of the imagination. They don't need adults to think for them. They sure don't need narrow minded negative adults imposing their ill wills on them. The only reason why a child would ever be ashamed of nudity of any degree is if it was somehow TAUGHT that way to them. By you or anyone else. (It's understandably common for sexual abuse victims to have this viewpoint for example.) I don't think that truly your children are uncomfortable with Nursing in Public, anyhow. I think YOU are. I think you should seek out help if you are infact threatened by a nude human form for whatever reason. Especially if all it takes to send you over the deep end is just the sight of a tiny portion of a BF'ing mothers breast that is only exposed temporarily and only for a very practical (and essential,) use. Get help for yourself if this seems so. If your children have been corrupted and taught that boobs are disgusting for whatever reason, again, find them help. It could be quite serious. (No kidding here, I mean this.) 

You know,  I wanted to say something else to you after I thought more about what you had said and my reply.  I am sorry, this is obviously a very important issue to you, and though I don't agree with you on it, you are entitled to your opinion as am I.  It hurt my feelings that someone who doesn't know me would tell my children might be corrupted, etc. because we teach modesty in our home.  I think very VERY highly of moms who breastfeed, and I do wish it had worked out that I could have done it.  I do, also, however think I am a good mother to my own three children and there are many important things we do as parents to raise our children in the way we think is best for them, and nursing is only one of those things.   

I am sorry for having come back so rudely to you, we moms should be supporting each other and our choices, knowing that we are all doing what we think is best for our children.  We love them, they are a part of us, and as they grow older, we need each others' support, not condemnation.  Please know I am proud of you for breastfeeding, and I respect your opinion as well as my own. 

  

  

 
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January 8, 2006, 1:04 pm PST

I completely agree

Quote From: kitashla

 I think they missed something when helping Holly with her problem.  (The woman who experiences horrifying nightmares.)

Sleep Paralysis.  What she experiences is almost word for word what one experiences during sleep paralysis.

I've suffered from it for years.  I've often had horrifying nightmares of demons and evil, waking up to feel demonic presences over me and pushing on me, being unable to cry out or talk or even move, or yelling once I finally pull myself out of it.  Hearing the sound of demonic voices around my head and feeling an overwhelming sense of doom and evil.

It's horrifying and for years I also thought I was haunted by demons.  (It didn't help that I was raised in a pentacostal household where even my toys were apparently possessed by demons.)

It wasn't until someone told me about sleep paralysis that it all made sense.  The episodes are still terrifying, but I can now go to sleep afterwards.  I no longer have trouble sleeping for days because of them.  Knowing what was wrong has given me a great sense of peace.

The problem is that there isn't necessarily a fool proof  way to get rid of sleep paralysis.  There are some drugs that seem to work, but it isn't 100%.  I'm concerned that Holly will try these "visualization" methods and be dismayed when they don't work.  That it will more firmly place in her mind that she is haunted by demons when she simply is experience extreme amounts of stress and/or sleep deprivation.  (That's usually what triggers mine.)

The relief I felt when I realized it wasn't demons and that everything, for what it's worth, was normal was exhilirating.  I don't want anyone else who suffers from this to be any more scared than they have to be.
I have had this for years, and when looking it up on the internet, found it was called sleep paralysis, and it happens when I have been sleeping on my back or have been drinking or taking some sleep-inducing medication which while being overweight adds to my sleep problems.  I think they missed the boat big time on this one, too.  It is scary, but not demonic, I am a Christian, and still don't think it is demons at all in these cases.
 

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