Messages By: tammyo1973

DID and MPD?

My daughter s 14 and was sexually abused for 2 years before she told  a therapist. She has been diagnosed first with MDD (major depressive disorder) they put her on zoloft and she went manic so was dx with bipolar disorder. post traumatic stress disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Recently I was told that she has symptoms of borderline personality disorder but cannot be officailly diagnosed as our pdoc doesn't like to diagnose a teen with that because the brain is still developing. Anyways to make a long story short... I wonder how many of these illnesses are actually the effect of abuse? Would she have bipolar had she not been abused?

I am learning everyday about her and what sets her off. What the triggers are. I finally realized after 2 years that rubbing her arm to wake her up sets her off. I figured it out. The abuse took place while she was sleeping, probably started with him caressing her or something anways it is a huge trigger. Now I just poke her. Also wispering to her sets her off, maybe he wispered to her while she was sleeping I am not sure as I do not bring these things up. I just learn from my mistakes and figure out different ways of doing things so nto to trigger her. It is almost liek walking on eggshells because you never know what you say, where you take her, etc will bring back a memory.

I hope to be able to figure this all out and help her become a great individual as she grows up.

Thanks for listening... sorry my question turned into rambling

Tammy

Do you have an IEP in place that fives you special services? My daughter is 14 and school was awful for her until I had her tested and some special accomadations were made for her. She can go to a quiet room if having a panic attack. She doesn't need permission to go to the bathroom. If you do not have one I would ask your mom to write a request to the special education director for an evaluation. If she needs help she can email me. Tammy

mommaoof2@yahoo.com

Sorry about your son. My daughter takes her meds because her docotr told her she would be worse if she didn't and thankfully I have never had a problem. I wa sin counseling and now only go when I need to. The bipolar board USED to be great. I won't go into details but I was involved in the bipolar board until last week.

I was just "surfing" and saw your post and thought I would ask what the others are.

Our pdoc told us that even though bipolar is hereditary, it can lay dormant. He said it was most likely triggered by the abuse. 

On top of the abuse she has a father who she never knew until she was 9. He was around for 3 months left stopped calling. He started coming around again this last year dec. 04 and stopped calling in feb 05. SHe had just gone back to school and was really stressing out and he was so selfish, she finally told him that she had to concentrate on school and couldn't see him every weekend. She was going to his house and holding it all together and then coming home and raging on me for hours. She finally told em she couldn't handle it anymore so we had told him instead of friday-sunday she could come over friday night and come hoem saturday. He didn't like that so she told him she didn't want togo at all and he looked her in the face and said is school more important tome? I was floored. Here she is so afraid of school, threw herself down 16 stairs so she didn't have to go to school, spent a week in a hospital and another 3 weeks ina partial hos prgram and he basically asks her to choose.  Needless to say that was Feb. She talked to him once on the phone in June and all he said to her was your sister misses you, maybe you can come up here next week to see her dance recital. Never said he missed her or loved her etc. Her next venture to try was sending a fathers day card and 2 sheets of photos from wallmart, I sent some wallets and 2 five by sevens so he could have one and give one to his mom. He never called her to say thank you and the 2 times she tried on fathers day the phone was busy and she gave up I think. I think not calling her to thank her for the fathers day card and pictures was the icing on the cake.

I do not understand why he can't see how much heh hurts her. Even more so becuase with the bipolar her emotions are hypersensitive. Anyways I didn't mean to come here and ramble.

I just think she has been abused by 2 men. Both were suppose to be her dads. Her and my now husband have a funny relationship. SOme days she won't talk to him at all and others she needs the affection and hugs from him. TO knwo he loves her. He is used to it now and goes with her flow.

Her bio-dad publically (I say that meaningin front of her) let me knwo he didn't agree with medicating her and he didn't thin she has bipolar (he told me I am the "crazy" one) this is comign from someone who has only spent 6 months total with his child. He never did understand why she wouldn't show her true self to him. She was scared if she wasn't perfect eh would leave her again. I think that created more of a problem with shcool, because now she feels if she woudl have just doen bette in school he woudl not have left.

Well I have said enough to bore the whole board so will close. Thank you for the answers to my questions

Tammy

The picture of the bears. I didn't want to hit reply because I didn't want to bring it to the top of the page. Anyhow... the other day I saw where ya'll were telling people to be careful regarding giving out info because of stranger danger and we need to show the minors on this board by setting the example. Please do not post pics like this. We do have minors writing on these boards and that photo was just NOT right.

I know you will understand

Tammy

Thank you so much for understanding where I was coming from. I just think that a bondage picture is very inappropriate.  I do understand as well it may have been intended for a joke but we have to think of our actions BEFORE we create a potential problem.  I did go back and look at the last 5-6 pages and do not see them so I believe the moderater agreed with my stand ont his.

I am not coming here to argue with anyone. I just saw something and I couldn't understand how one day people were talking about setting a good example for children and then the next posting a pic like that.

Have a sunny day

tammy

I do not know if you mean you agreed with me or not. I didn't want to cause a huge war again I just saw something that didn't settle with me. I want to say thank you for being kind in wahtever your intenton was.

I think we as humans have the greatest gift of all and that freedom of speech and opinion. We must use it all wisley though. If we see something that has the potential to harm a minor it is our jobs as adults to step up and be that example.

I agree with you when you say "some people make bad choices and expect damage control after the fact"  I think since we do not have the delete button we have to be EXTRA careful and think of others on these boards. WHo they are... are they teens just starting to learn about sexuality was my point.

I hope you have a sunny day. THank you for being so kind.

Tammy

"THE MODERATOR I AM SURE WILL PULL PICS OR POSTS THAT AREN'T APPROPIATE TO SEE OR READ.THATS HIS JOB NOT OURS"

All I will say to your response is I went back 8 pages and the bears are gone, as well as the other posts. 

"I COULD NOT JUST SIT HERE AND KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT "

You always take the defensive role, which Dr. Phil has said is the role of a victim or the role of someone who feels they have done soemthing wrong. I refuse to entertain you with an arguement.

There is a kinder more gentler way of handling a debate.

But you start off with a comment like the above and how can anyone WANT to have a conversation with you.

"TAMMY ITS NOT THAT GREAT EITHER TO POST PICS OF PILLS EITHER PEOPLE DO TAKE OFFENSE TO PICS THAT BRAG OR PROMOTE PILLS"

I hope you are not referring to me posting any kind of picture because the only picture I know how to post is my llama in my profile picture.

"A PIC OF A TEDDY BEAR IN LEATHER"

It was more than a teddy bear in leather. It was uncalled for when you have minors reading and trying to reach out for help.

Try thinkingin these terms for a minute... if your daughter who is lets say 10-15 were to come home with that picture of the bears and tells you she found it and printed it from a computer at the school library, what would you do?

I already know what you would do... You would be on the phone with the principal asking him/her how your daughter was able to gain access to a picture like that.

And if you say you wouldn't do that, then your trying to fool me and yourself.

Have a sunny day.

Tammy

Thats the way I read it:)

I think it is wonderful we each have our own mind and opinion. It is one of the things most people take for granted :)

I am one that will speak my mind but I try to do it in a way as to not start an argument.

Have a sunny day and it is nice to chat with you

Tammy

Reading your posts makes me feel selfish. I can't wait for my daughter, 3yr. to start pre-school. I am dreaming about my 2 hours two days a week. I also have a 14 yr old daughter who has bipolar, so the break will be nice for me.

Use the couple hours a week for yourself if you can.

I am envisioning an hour bubble bath with candles and low music :)) no spongebob or scremaing kids trying to kill each other :)

Tammy

I am smart enough to know it wasn't meant to hurt anyone.

 I was just asking that we (adults) be a little more aware of what we are posting and who is out there looking at it. Thats all, I never once said this poster was trying to hurt anyone.

In fact I am sure if I read the posts before I would see that you guys were all having fun and laughing and cheering each other up. That does not excuse us from doing the right thing. From setting and being that example we all should be.

When I was growing up it was everyones job to raise the neighborhood kids. We need that back today, instead of thinking only of my children, I think of all children. I am sure you do to...

It is the way it should be :))

I wish you a sunny day or a funshine day :)

Sincerely, Tammy