Messages By: macauleys

Whether Drinking Gambeling or drugs I think it is all bad and especially if it all goes back to different generations of families (ex. parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) because then the children that are born into that lifestyle will see that it is all ok to do and won't see any reason to change their ways just because mom and dad say so. Also if the parents don't think that they have a Gambeling,or drinking problem and continue to live in denial then the children will also. I don't care what the drink once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.

I have a uncle that is an alcoholic and chain smoker and no matter who tells him he still continues with his bad habits. I chose a long time ago when I saw him headed down this road that I wasn't going to be like him and have remained so.

These children need to be in rehab but unless they are underage no one can force them to go and even then they won't stay if they don't want to be there or their parents or any other legal guardian aren't there to keep watch over them. 

It is a rebellious thing that kids do to fit in with "the in crowd" no matter who gets hurt they like to live life on the edge or dangerously because to them it is fun and they don't want to hear anything about how it is wrong from their family or anyone close to their parents ages. If anything thay want to hear it from someone close to their own age because they will be more likely to listen to them maybe  they won't take what is said to heart right away but when reality finally hits they will realize the error of their ways and look for someone to help them or admit themselves to rehab.

If you can't find enough love for your family to just behave because hate the holidays then go on a vacation by yourself . There are things one does whether you like it or not when you love people.

Thankfully I didn't get that defective selfish gene. I hate shopping; my husband loves shopping. I go shopping on a regular basis, with a smile. I love Christmas. To me it's about my family, food, decorations and music. I love the smells in the house. I love the food I've had from childhood. My mother is German, and I grew up with amazing German food and traditions. My father is Irish, and always made Christmas fun. None of us believe in god, but we grew up in a Christian societies, so it's our culture, and our traditions stem from that. I've never stressed out at the holidays. I don't go overboard with presents. Being with the people I love and giving them something they wanted is nice, but to me it's all about the family dinner, and the warmth we have for each other.

First off I want to THANK EVERYONE for the advice,Seems my BIL is in for a couple of surprises this year.

We put up with it, only because he comes from the other side of the country to DROP IN ( must be nice to afford the airfare and the rental car for that time), and he used the line " I could be deployed to Afghnistan anytime," he's in the Navy, so of course the double whammy right >?

But this year I choose to be happy over th holidays, and keep my car keys within reach, I guess I just never know when my Mom is going to need help with Christmas dinner or baking , that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Also, I told my husband, he shows up, you lose a day off work because I won't be here to entertain him, Hubby dosen't like to take time off this time of year, and my SIL has PROMISED to run interference,like picking him up at the airport and taking him to her place, but he can't stay there because her daughter is having Chemo, and everyone is banned right now who might have a cold or flu bug with them (perfectly understandable).

We have picked him up a gift card for a local hotel, right between us, and that's where he'll be staying, because I've had enough, and I will tell him, you want to raise kids, get a couple of your own.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it

Happy Holidays to all ( yes even the Scrooges )

I made mistakes.  I was young, dumb and full of ....  I know that now.  But I thought we had gotten through all of those stumbling blocks the both of us had.  But she has chosen to feel abandoned when I am right here and she knows where I am.  She didn't even send me a Christmas card.  I would have sent one to her and the girls but she has moved and I don't know her new address or phone number.  All I have is the office number.  I sent mail there and she sends it right back to me.  I email her and she doesn't email me back.  She hates me.  She considers my sister who died at 49 years old of breast cancer to be her mother.  So she states that now her mother is dead.  When I am right here.  I miss my granddaughters something fierce.  I have just gotten off of a two week crying jag.  I just couldn't stop.  Even in the doctor's office, I couldn't stop crying.  I guess it worked itself out because the crying has stopped.  I did have to get stronger medication and different medication.  I have had four surgeries this year to fix my knees and ankles.  I still have to go through another ankle surgery because the first one didn't take correctly.  It looks like it is broken, I swear to God.  Funny looking thing. 

Just wish Amanda and I could forge some new ground for a new and better relationship.  I am not going to live forever...we are not promised one more day or night.  I wish with all my heart to have my daughter and granddaughters back in my life.  Even if for one more day.  Hopefully more but that one more day would be worth a million dollars in my book.

There has been so much loss in my family lately.  It is dwindling down to hardly no one.  I just wish she could see that too.

Amanda was class valedictorian, she put herself through technical college and graduated from Carolina at Chapel Hill, all this with having two children and a job.  She is so smart.  And that is the way I raised her.  But now she thinks she is too smart for me.  I thought once she became a mother, she would at least have some understanding of the reason I did the things I did.  But that didn't happen.  She just saw me as someone weak who not couldn't do better but wouldn't do better.  But that is not true either.  It is just so frusterating.  But I am going forward....that is the only way to do.