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Messages By: hpmx590

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July 25, 2005, 6:28 pm CDT

A Jaybeez letter to Vlaanderen.

Quote From: jaybeez

hello,
about six months ago a very good friend of mine was dumped by her serious boyfriend. my friend has shown positive signs, such as moving on and meeting new people. unfortunately, she has been going though a relapse lately. she is becoming depressed and obsessed with the break up, constantly wanting to contact him and talk about him. she has also told me that her 'break up attacks' have come more often lately.

how can i help her move on? how can i help her realize that this guy was an idiot and she is worth so much better?

NOW... ANOTHER friend went through the same thing about the same amount of time ago. since the breakup, she has become a completely different person, hanging out with different and sometimes completely random people; not bothering to contact her real friends, and partying ALL the time. she still 'meets up' with her ex and they have physical encounters. unfortunately, although they seem to be happy in this situation, he will be leaving the country for a year or two in about a week.

how do i help my friends?!

sincerely,
jaybeez

Dear Jaybeez. I with you all the way. I like to have a good friends but not have a girlfriend at all be-

case I like to be single all the time.  Well I had better close now. Your friend. Russell Barrie Vlaande-

ren.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
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August 3, 2005, 6:47 pm CDT

DrLeatterPhilShowtoVLAANDEREN.

Quote From: scmom2hk

To place 'blame' on your wife because she wouldn't go to counseling or whatever is shameful.  Yes, you both have some extreme issues and should be in individual counseling as well as marital counseling.  Why she would stay is something she needs to figure out or her next relationship may be the same.  I feel sure part of it is for her children, as it is for you too, but on some level both of you must know that although divorce is RARELY good for children, in this particular case it may be better than to have this toxicity in their lives.  I cannot even begin to imagine how little ones begin to assimilate such horrible issues and also being in a community where others know about it would be incredibly damaging.  None of you have the right to put that burden on these children.

 

To say it 'just happened, I didn't mean for it to' is BS.  People with high self esteem and high character don't allow themselves to be in a situation for it just to 'happen'.  They also have the maturity and foresight to see that there is NO WHERE infidelity can go but destructively in a ditch.  It always ends up sadly for everyone involved, including the innocent children.  You are abusing your children when you sleep with someone other than your spouse, plain and simple. 

 

Everyone goes through dips and wanes in their marriage.  There are lots of attractive people out there.  Making a commitment doesn't mean that you'll NEVER be attracted to another person again.  What it does mean is that you stick it out, work on problems, and when necessary, take the time to fall back in love with your spouse.  And you don't allow yourself to be in situations where something inappropriate can take place.  Never.

 

The mistress and her husband need counseling as well.  She must have very, very low self esteem and she and her husband need individual and marital counseling.  The main thing is that they sever ties with the adulterous relationship and this other couple.  Ideally, Brad would give up rights to his son and give him a chance at a normal life, but in the absence of that, the father should deliver him for visits, or some other family member.  If I were that family, I would move far away from that town.

 

The only way I see either marriage surviving and becoming healthy is life-altering self change in four different individuals; hard work and therapy.  And it may be that this hurt cannot ever be gotten over and the marriages won't make it; who knows.  But if mistress and Brad want to get together, I would be bet 1 million dollars (that I don't have) that he will do it again to her.  AND that neither of them will think the other is as exciting as ANY affair is bound to be, without the strings of bills, kids, home repairs, in-laws, etc.  Neither will be as attractive as this illicit affair is once all that comes into play.  Grow up Brad and 'Sarah' - both of you - and for the spouses, get counseling, and heal yourselves.  You didn't deserve this, but you need to find out why you put up with it.

 

Best wishes to all of you,

 

Leslie H.

Doctor Phil. After I saw Part One of Torn Between Two Lover I can harley wait to see Part Two tom-

orrow Afternoon on Doctor Phil Show. See you tomorrow Afternoon. Well I had better close now.----

Sincerly Your. HPMX590.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
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August 19, 2005, 2:59 pm CDT

Dr Phil Show.

Dr Phil. I hate to said it Lori is nuts and going with other guys in 20s. I think she is sick. Go figer this 

out. Well I had better close now. Friend Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------- 

 
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August 29, 2005, 6:36 pm CDT

Dr Phil Show.

Doctor Phil. I think that your show is looking good. Kep up the good work and see you tomorrow but 

as for Susan and Stepanie they need to get there life back together after the show. Well I had better 

close now. Sincerly Your. Russell

 

 
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September 1, 2005, 6:35 pm CDT

Andrew letter to Vlaanderen.

Andrew. I hear that you have been sober for seven month and not been drinking or drug abusive at all. I like that. Andrew your a brave man. My online address is: RBV43@Juno.Com. Andrew I hopethat everything is going ok with you. Good luck. Well I had better close now. Sincerly Your. Russell

 
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September 3, 2005, 5:17 pm CDT

Monicas To

Monica. I am surprised that you afraid of leaving your house and go see Doctor Phil and you need--- 

to get real and get going. Good luck. I avise you to out to Los Angeles, California and see Doctor---- 

Phil McGraw. Well I had better close now. Sincerly Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------- 

 
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September 16, 2005, 12:40 pm CDT

Dr Phil Show.

Doctor Phil. As you know I like women aswell and girls aswell. I just notice that  Jay went undercov 

er to find out that beautyful is better then ugly. I think Jay Girlfriend Erica is looking good. I do have a 

girlfriend name Suzanne  is still looking good to me. Suzanne is 53 years old then me. Good 

luck to Jay McGraw. Your friend Russell From Arvada, Colorado.----------------------------------------------- 

 
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September 21, 2005, 5:23 pm CDT

EErica Jay

Erica Jay. Congratulation on asking Erica to marry you. I am proud of you. Good luck. Oh yea I hope that your wedding will be a good one whenever you and Erica get married and have kids in the futu 

re. Again congraulation Erica and Jay. Your Friend from Arvada, Colorado. Russell

 

 
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September 27, 2005, 5:49 pm CDT

Donna to.

Donna. I am surprised that didnot Monkey Space or otherwise Choking Game. Donna I ready your post anmd I cannot inmagine that the game is sure be outlaw in a way so that teenager would not die at all. Well I had better close now. Sincerly Your. Russell--

 

 
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September 30, 2005, 12:47 pm CDT

A Beth letter to Vlaanderen.

Beth. Way to go. I knew that you can stand up for yourself and not depended on Brenda to help you. My E-Mail address is: RBV43@Juno.Com in case yo want to E-Mail me aletter.  Good luck and rem- 

ember stand up for yourself. (R is for Russell. B is for Barrie and V is for Vlaanderen.) Well I had be 

tter close now. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

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