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July 25, 2005, 8:19 pm PDT
spitfire02 Godspeed and Best Wishes 24/7
Quote From: spitfire02You all seem to be very nice people and I feel that I might benifit from the words of wisdom I have seen here. maybe you have some for me...... Well my story starts in Jan. 2004, when my step fathers mother went to live with them (my mother and step dad). She was terminally ill and needed 24 hour care. My mother works and so does my step father so they asked me To help care for her, since I wasnt working at the time I agreed. I only had a week with her before she passed away. It was a very hard thing to go thru, I didnt know her very well but we connected in that week. Its is now been over a year and I still feel the loss. Well.... my grandmother (my mothers mother) is now living with them (my mom and step father) she has had a stroke and a few small TIAs she is 84 years old and cannot be left alone because she cant be trusted not to take medication she shouldnt.... she talks of death all the time..things like " I just want to go to bed and die." Those words are like a knife scraping the wound of the past. Again I was asked to help look after her, and I agreed but it is getting so hard for me, as the days go on, I sink deeper and deeper in to depression, waiting for the day that I find her in bed lifeless. The Lord help me when that day comes. I have tried to talk to the family and they wont let me out of the obligation I made. I know that there is someone out there in the profession that can take care of her and not go crazy. How do I get the family to understand that my health is suffering and my family (husband and kids) is suffering because of this obligation? How do I get them to hear me???
Thank you all for listening to the rantings of my soul.....
God Bless you all My heart goes out to you. The Hospice nurse caring for my grandmother would call me and talk to me for 30 minutes saying, "My husband said to call and tell the family the graphic visuals of your job and don't bring your work home with you." Well, hearing the morbid things that were happening to my grandmother were quite unsettling. Any time I visited her she would say, "Why won't they just let me die." She was in intense pain and Hospice said likely making her comfortable with enough pain medication would take her life and did. You just have to speak up and it wouldn't hurt to call a hospital and talk with a Social Worker and Chaplain. There are many services available to help that are often FREE that Social Worker at local hospital can direct you to. I DO believe that your health is suffering. You make time to help and EVERYBODY should too not just you. There might be FREE service of someone who could come in so contact a hospital Social Worker to see what is available. Also, she might need anti-depressants as I know an elderly woman put on anti-depressants. Could be too that Chaplain or Social Worker could intercede for you and have a family counseling meeting or have a pamphlet that says how one person shouldn't have to bear all the responsibility to give you some backing. I would have my good nature exploited a lot too. One thing I learned is it takes time to make time and I'm not the only person that can make time. Nor are you. Hugs and prayers, Beachsmiles P.S. With a wing and a prayer you will find this reply.
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