Messages By: suchamuch

October 7, 2005, Montréal, Québec, Canada
I havenothing against breastfeeding in public, as long as the woman doing this remembers that it doesn't constitute an excuse for showing off.  There are many immature men out there, so immature that they have a breast fixation.  As long as a woman is discreet about this, and keeps in mind that the primary role of this is to feed her child, I have no issue about it, not even in an art gallery, not even at a fancy restaurant.  It's all about demeanour and acting respectful toward others.  God bless you and thank you for your program and all the good that you do, even if it's not possible for you to do all the good that needs to be done.  Smiles and congratulations. 
Alex J. Glass, Catholic Writer and French Editor
xx : ) †

Hello,
I picked *suchamuch* for lack of a better nickname.  I always use my own name, no nicks.

The truth is probably in the middle.  One time, a nice Montreal psychiatrist said, in a meeting:  The solution is always in the middle, that's why men of State shake hands.  I thought this was an interesting line.  I don't believe Kayla or Bonii, but I don't fully believe Jeremy, either.  And I don't believe the child, because she seems torn.

About Kaylee, Kayla, Jeremy, Bonii, after having watched previous showsabout this, and today's show as well, I think what would be best forKaylee, immediately, would be to spend some time in a place forchildren, a happy, carefree, fight-free zone.  Bonii should not beso close to every little thing that happens to Kaylee, not play mother,but be her loving, calm, serene grandma, one who gives her hugs andcookies, that's all.  Jeremy needs anger managementcounselling.  Kayla needs to put her crusades, all of them, onhold and become a more gentle, tolerant person.  There is aperceptible tug of war between Kayla and Jeremy, and they will end upwith each one arm and one leg of Kaylee's but none of her heart, forshe will harden her heart and resent them BOTH for putting theirrevenge (on each other) ahead of their love for her.  This childhas been brainwashed.  I am not sure, but maybe she has beenhurting herself, over all this, and this vaginal tearing is somethingshe did.  When I was that young, I didn't, ever, think about mygenital organs.  If experts say there is no real physical evidenceand Child Services say the same thing, all this attention, so young, toher private parts may end up making her feel that this is where hervalue lies, and that's the wrong message.  I think both parentsshould not see each other until Kaylee is about 20!  Shedoesn't even feel comfortable to tell her mother that she had a nicetime with her father, probably knowing ahead of time that she'll getthe third degree when she comes home from seeing him.  That's toomuch stress on a young child who should be enjoying her life, playing,being carefree, having other little kids for companions.  I am opposed to a web site having been setup about this, as well as to the grandma passing out graphic or revealing flyers about the case.

Friday, October 12, 2007
MontrEal, QuEbec, Canada

Tyler Peterson, part-time police officer, deputy sheriff at age 20?  Why part-time.  Why deputy sheriff at age 20.  I've heard on the Dr Phil Show that the human brain is not fully matured until age 25 or so.  Maybe nobody should be deputy sheriff before age 25.  Shooting one's girlfriend (or boyfriend) at age 20 indicates something in someone's family culture that might have led the shooter to believe that this was justified?  What pastimes or games did Tyler Peterson have, between age 10 and 15?  What were his main influences or role models, growing up?  I think that as a society, we need to examine those factors and then examine our culture, values.  What values did Tyler Peterson grow up with?  Any spiritual life?  Did his parents teach him the Lord's Prayer?  Did his parents talk to him about God and about each of us having a high price in the eyes of God? 

Alex
Catholic Writer and French Editor
xx : ) (cross)

 Hello,

You may write to me, if you wish.  I didn't see an e-mail address to send you my own address.  I am an adult and I understand a lot about anorexia, I've lived it and had lots of time to decant how I went through that, and how I feel about it now, many years later.  alexjglass at netscape dot ca, or alexjglass at hotmail dot com.  Hug and smile, Alex  xx : )

 Saturday, Nov. 17, 2007, MontrEal, QuEbec, Canada
I know a lot about anorexia and about bulimia, also.  I watched yesterday's Dr Phil Show very attentively, and what I take away from it is that the verb *to force* and anorexia don't mix.  I feel that it is a lot more empowering to find in your own self how to emerge a winner from this, how to remain the boss of what you eat or don't eat.  My approach to most problems is first, never wait to pray, then see what you, yourself, can do, and even if it's baby steps, each step means a lot, as long as it's your decision.  Write to me if you wish, to share about what you are going through.  Sometimes, anorexia (a misnomer if I've ever seen one) is just another word for *big heart*, that's how I lived it, at least.  Basically, all that's needed is a lot of love, validation, and no forcing anything.  alexjglass at netscape dot ca or alexjglass at hotmail dot com.  Hug and smile xoxo : ) and if you ask God to help you, gently, each day, to find a happy, truly happy medium between eating never or eating always, take things one day at a time and throw away your weighing scale, He will help you and you won't feel alone anymore.

 Hello,
True love can really conquer all.  The best way for you to be, in order to coast through this, is to listen a lot more than you talk, tell your son that you want him to be happy, refrain from putting over-the-top expectations on him or on his life, and talk with him about everything EXCEPT anorexic behaviour.  This means to cheer, encourage, love, support and validate everything that he does and which is health-building, and to say nothing about non-health-building behaviour.  It requires detachment, and it's very hard for a parent to be detached, but that's why sometimes perfect strangers achieve better results, because they are able to view the situation from outside, rather than get sad, as you expressed being, and put your attention on the disease all the time, instead of on the subject.  Let him do anything that he wants and just cheer him for being alive.  In a few years, if he smokes, as long as he eats, he'll be alive, and if he drinks or experiments with drinking (normal teenagers do), as long as he eats, he'll be alive.  Right now, your concern is to try to make him as happy as possible, even if he doesn't eat, and when he feels happier, the normal desire to eat will return.  You may write to me, if you wish, I put my e-mail address on this site, but here it is anyway alexjglass at netscape dot ca, or alexjglass at hotmail dot com.  Give him a lot of love and validation, even if his baby setp progresses don't seem good enough.  He probably has a very high ideal and lots of love in his heart.  Tell him that a small success is already a lot and don't demand of him to achieve your goals, if possible.  Hug and smile, Alex.  xoxo : )

Dear Dr Phil and Robin, and anyone reading this,

If it were going to be Philmas, or Robinmas, how would you feel if, in order to avoid mentioning your names, people everywhere, over the airwaves, radio, television, in newspapers and in written advertising, began to put a vague name to your birthday and called it, for example, the upcoming 'feast', without telling anyone your name?  If one of you had been dragged through the mud, slapped around, spit on, battered mercilessly, and then crucified (that must have hurt SO much!), in order to save one, ten, or ten thousand lives, wouldn't you like to be remembered BY NAME on your birthday?

In psychological terms, it is a well-known fact that to each human being, the sweetest sound is that of his/her own name.  When we want to make someone feel important, we care enough to ask someone how they like their name spelled, and how they like their name pronounced, because the intention is to show respect and show that we recognize that he/she is unique and, as such, precious and special. 

Why deny Jesus that?  He is both true man and true God, and has feelings, probably ten thousand times more than we do, because He is PURE LOVE.  I very much disagree when people who call themselves Christian, designate Jesus' birthday under the vague, rather commercial, rather entertainment-oriented term of 'holiday'. 

Because of this, I hope that if you cannot change it for this year, at least next year, and the other years after that, you will honour your Christian backbone (spine) by calling this program, centered around giving and generosity, the Dr Phil and Robin Christmas Special.  It's only right, and there shouldn't be anyone feeling left out, because THE important person, in the Name of Whom we go to such lengths to please others and make them feel loved, is Jesus, and He is entitled to His birthday, whatever religion is being practised by shoppers, viewers, or anyone else.

Hug and God bless you both for all the good that you do, and give you always a growing faith.
Alex xx : ) (cross)

 What clothes are made for ...
Clothes exist to protect our body and, as such, vary according to climate.  Secondarily, clothes also convey an image of who we are.  When men want to make a very good impression, they wear a suit and tie, which pretty much covers them entirely, leaving exposed only the face and hands.  When men want to make a fairly good impression, they wear pants, a nicely ironed shirt, with or without tie; or a polo type shirt, neat and unwrinkled, and maybe docker style pants, nicely ironed.  When women want to make a very good impression, should they expose 2/3 of their cleavage and wear a big cross pendant?  When women want to convey an image of respectability, should they allow anyone to be able to draw the contours of their body?  I think that it's entirely possible to look cute, presentable and feminine without conveying an image of being easy, even on vacation.   When parents abdicate their responsibility to teach their children how to present themselves, this leads to all kinds of weird choices.

I remember, one time, when a little niece came to visit for a couple of days.  We had planned to take her out downtown with us, and go to a lot of different places, the Cathedral, a restaurant, take a tour bus and show her downtown points of interest.  On that day, my niece, who at the time was about 9 years old, appeared dressed in leopard tights and looked something like a wannabe-hooker.  I told her that this wasn't suitable for the types of places that we had in mind, and that she should wear something more respectable and maybe even consider throwing away the leopard tights.  She did, and dressed decently, and we spent a wonderful day with her.  When she got home, she told her mom that we *hated* those leopard tights of hers and told us that she should throw them out.  : )  Her mother hadn't even thought to teach her that some things can be worn at home, in private, but are not suitable for going out in public.

I don't think that attractive women should wear potato sacks and hide their figure, but there is a big margin between a potato sack and just a bra and panties.  I am getting very tired of seeing all the movie stars showing up dressed worse (more scantily) than if they were nude, and feel disrespected when, for the 1,000th time, a star is seen on screen with most of her skin outside her clothes. 

I recall a comment that Dr Phil made on The Late Show with David Letterman, one time, asking where things are going to go next, given that it's never been worse.  What's the next step?  Aggressing everyone else with unsolicited nudity?

Human beings are only human and tend to evaluate someone on outward appearance, nobody can deny this.  If you want to be perceived as respectable, you have to dress respectably.  Thank God for winter, here in Canada, if someone exposes 2/3 of their breast, they'll likely end up with pneumonia, and think about it before they go out again without dressing properly.  : )

Hello,

I received an e-mail about two subjects.  One, about proper attire for boarding a plance, and two, the fifteen-year-old who is campaigning against cussing.

There are people whom I've stopped seeing because of bad language, cussing, violent words or similar things.  I like them as human beings, but wouldn't want to share my life with someone who uses violent language, for I believe that language reveals who we are, and if someone uses violent words, this means that there is an inner component that has the ability to be violent.

I even disagree with terms such as *having sex*.  We may have a headache, which we didn't ask for, or we may have pizza for dinner, which is a detail of daily life, but to treat sexual intercourse as a casual choice trivializes the sanctity of sharing one's soul with another person and conveys the impression that to give oneself is something to be entered into lightly, which it isn't.

In my family, when I was growing up, my parents didn't curse or use obscene language, yet their words frequently had a colour of violence, which at the time I was unable to analyze, but have since analyzed, as an adult, and considered not suitable for my home.  Words carry weight and it's not merely a question of avoiding saying *horrible* about something which isn't horrible, but extends to the whole language tools that we use.  Many people say that they were *shocked*, when in reality, they were merely displeased or surprised or slightly disappointed.  We cannot say that we are opposed to violence if our own language is exaggerated or disproportionate with the occurrence at hand.

Many adults who try to be their children's *friends*, instead of being their mentors, guides or sources of inspiration, adopt their teen children's language in order to be perceived as *cool*, but that is wrong and they shouldn't turn around and denounce violence on television, while in their own home, the words that they use are exaggerated, equivalent to lying, actually, because exaggeration is a form of falsehood, or violent in any way.

There is more and more talk about *health*.  Health, defined as fitness, or wellness, or the ability to function and do everything that is on our list, should definitely include happiness, respect, a desire to improve and become, on the INSIDE also, a better person. 

The primary function of language is to serve as a way for people to understand one another, not as a way for people to threaten or attack.  If language, the way it is used, divides a family or conveys anger, hostility or violence, then people would be better off remaining silent, until they find something to say that will be good, constructive and true.

As an Educator for the masses, Dr Phil has a responsibility, on his show, to lead by example by using language that denotes no anger, no exaggeration, and no violence.

 Montréal, Friday, May 2, 2008, 18h30

A cougar is an animal ...
If we were talking about men around 50 years old, or between 40 and 60, who enjoy interacting with women between 20 and 40, would we call it *animal name + craze*?  It doesn't seem to be the case. 

So, from the start, designations such as cougar, or other names of animals, is not appropriate.

I think that for either gender, getting involved in a relationship with someone about 7 years older, or 7 years younger, doesn't pose a big problem, but as soon as the age gap widens to 10 years or more, many problems can arise, whether it be a cultural gap about not having grown up to the same television programs, or not having grown up in the same type of computer culture, etc.  Also, it is harder for any partner to understand why their loved one might feel tired, one day, or feel particularly tired after a day in the great outdoors, if partners are many years apart.  If one of them is 30 and the other, 23, or 37, there isn't as much difficulty understanding one another.

In society, currently, there are many factors which create stress, if only the speed at which everything is evolving, and I feel that it's a better recipe for success if the age difference is lesser than 10 years.  I've always said that I wouldn't mind getting to know, and maybe eventually marrying, if both of us felt that God was willing, someone who might be 10 years older than I am, but not 11.  So far, I've kept in mind this ballpark criterion, and it's saved me a lot of heartache.  As for friendship, I accept anyone whom I meet on my path, as long as they are respectful, because friendship doesn't have the same sharing of proximity, constant presence, as a love relationship.   Nothing wrong with old friends, or older friends.

I think that the series Sex and The City had a lot of influence on people, but we should consider that this is a series, and not reality.  Personally, I haven't followed this series and don't have any interest in it. 

I would like to mention that the material on this Website is so considerable that it takes extremely long to download, which sometimes causes me to just log back out and not write anything.  Thanks for all the work that you do, it shows that you care to keep the Dr Phil Show as respectable as possible, and I appreciate that.  I wouldn't like it to take a turn toward weeks on end of bitter, fightful, antagonistic material.