Messages By: whitney74

Wow, this person really hit the mark.  I do not think what Nathan is doing is wrong in any way.  The real problem here is lack of perenting on the account of the mother.  For nine years she did NOTHING to raise her child other than feed her (obviously) and shelter her from, well, pretty much everything that would teach her lessons about life.  Nathan, i am sorry that you came into your relationship so late.  My daughter was two when my wife an I were married (though she is my biological daughter, we simply did not wish to rush into marriage on the sole basis of having a child together), and during her first two years my wife worked and went to school and my daughter was pretty much "raised" by my mother in law, who is completely psychotic but thats another story.  To make a long story short, I was raised in a military family and was apalled by the complete lack of discipline/respect that my daughter had.  Two years later my daughter is the best behaved four year old I have ever known, and everyone complements her on her manners, personality, etc.  She is happy and well adjusted (not simply my view, either), and does not have self confidence issues.  I would like to state now that Nathan was treated unfairly on the show.  I do not know him, but I doubt very serioulsy that he has ever called his daughter a whore or drug dealer, and that he simply told her the consequences of her course of action and this was blown out of proportion by his neurotic pacifist wife.  Yelling in her face?  Do it.  She needs it, obviously.  We wouldn't be having this discussion if she were well behaved.  The daughter AND the wife are drama queens.  I'm tired of the strong father being made out to be the bad guy. You know what Nathan?  If she doesn't have the courage or the strength to be a parent to her own daughter and to do what HAS to be done, which you well know, than you shouldn't have even given her the opportunity to leave you.  You should have left her.   

The stuff you've written about does seem a little scary ...  and with your background ... you will be drawn to that especially with all the little things that to you don't add up right.  Are you seeing your own childhood behaviors in your granddaugher?

I would seek the advice of a specialist.  Someone who you can sit down and discuss your own background and your grandchildren.   Let them be the deciding factor. If it is you, then no harm is done .. in fact, you get to work thru another layer of your past that will bring you peace.  If they feel it's strange, then they can help you get your daughter to understand what's not right.  With her working and him not, well, she probably just working on the other areas of her life not working.