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Messages By: loretta24

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February 22, 2006, 6:39 pm PST

Neecie

Quote From: neecie24

Thanks for the "hello!"  I am doing pretty well these days.  Just rolling the waves of whatever happens.  Wedding's (oops, not mine!) on, wedding's off...  Erin's dad's gone, now he's back...  job is good some days, lousy on others...  Ralph calls, or he doesn't...  Got a whole house full of cookies, that are slowly being turned into cash for the GS... taxes, taxes, taxes... : ) 

  

But, if I may be allowed to be thoroughly grumpy for a few minutes.... As I must have said, Mom was here for the weekend, and it was just awful.  I wish that I never had to do that again, but I know I will.  I've never known a person who is more critical than she is.  And just completely focused on criticizing!  Ok, so I've lost some weight in the last few months -- 30 pounds.  I might not have mentioned that, because I just tend to be lowkey about that stuff.  Hate to brag.  Mom has always ragged on me about my weight, but does she notice the loss?  No.  Does she noticed the Commodore's Award that I won last Fall and never mentioned? (It's sitting in my living room).  No.  But she does jump on everything Erin says, gets offended by a little 8 yo attitude, verbally disciplines her right in front of me.  I know I should have told her to back off, but the rest of the visit would have been icy cold, not speaking for the rest of the time.  And worst of all, as soon as Erin was in bed, she ran through the whole list of things that Erin did during the day, that were selfish, rude, stupid, etc., then said, "it's too bad you can't keep her from saying things like that." 

  

She also had nothing good to say about anyone else.  If I asked about a friend of her's who has been ill from lead poisening, I got a whole rundown of how Mom feels taken advantage of by this woman, and how she's had to just stop having anything to do with her.  There were only two people that she had anything good to say about -- a woman at church who is raising her granddaughter (who has Muscular Dystrophy), and Ralph.   

  

I know that I have created this situation by putting up with it, but the truth is, she is extremely intimidating to me.  I have always found that the best way of dealing with her, is to remove myself from the situation as much as possible.  Thus, why I live in Colorado.  It might be telling to know that I talked to my ex about her for an hour and fourty minutes the other day, because of everyone I know he does understand my issues with her better than anyone else.  I told him, that you have to grieve the loss of someone who is still living, when they can't be (in this case) the mother you need them to be.  Trouble is, I keep having to do the grieving part all over again, everytime I see her, and it is very sad and painful.  My goal from here on is not to get my hopes up AGAIN, and to recognize that this will never change, so that hopefully I won't be surprised or disappointed again.  The worst part is Erin, who loves her grandmother, but doesn't realize that, in truth, her grandmother doesn't even like her. Oh, Mom can say what she wants on the phone about what a great mother I am, and how delightful and bright Erin is, but I know her real feelings. 

  

Ok, that's the end, hopefully, of my rant. 

  

I wish I could say I could be at your wedding, but I think I'd have to quit my job to be in Las Vegas at that time of year.  It could happen, but I'm not getting my hopes up.  Someone will have to send me pictures.  However, I will be there in spirit, and smiling and celebrating the whole time!! 

About a month or so ago I was having an issue with a family member and was quite down because I realized that I would never have the relationship I longed for, one on equal footing.  I don't want to be the child anymore because I'm now a grownup with my own children.  I long for the respect and quite frankly the words "I'm proud of you".  It will not happen because they are not capable of that kind of relationship and I finally realized the hard way that it has nothing to do with me.   

  

The reason I bring this up is that when I was in the midst of my grieving (and I used those words too) I read something on this board that helped me a great deal.  The words were not directed to me but they could have been.  See if you recognize this:  

  

 "Just please remember that what matters most of all is how you view yourself and the value you place on your own gifts and talents.  I can honestly say that for most of my life, I have not felt the acceptance and appreciation that I only now realize that I rightfully deserve.  And the funny part is, now that I realize that I DO deserve to be appreciated, it doesn't matter so much whether anybody really does, because I appreciate myself, and that is all that really matters."  

  

I can relate to what you wrote because I have sought my parents approval/respect/appreciation most of my life.  Now that I have accepted the fact that they are who they are and I am who I am, I have finally found peace in my heart.  They love me and I love them, we don't have the relationship that I really would like but I have found that kind of relationship in my "chosen" family.  The friends that do appreciate and accept me. 

  

Now as to your mother's treatment of your daughter, I'll bet she doesn't spend much time around 8 year olds.  They are interesting creatures who I think are fascinating and most of the time fun to be around but can also be selfish, rude and annoying.  Your mother probably wants to like Erin but just can't figure her out.  Fortunately Erin will grow out of the 8 year old stage, too bad parents can't grow out of their ugly stages!!! 

  

So anyway hope you don't mind my two cents and I wish you the best in dealing with this.  I know it is not fun at all!!! 

 
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March 1, 2006, 6:52 pm PST

I'm a ENTJ

Okay so I took the first test that Battle mentioned, didn't get to the second one, maybe tomorrow.  

  

Now I agree with some but not all of  the assessment as it relates to me personally, but the quote at the top was on the money, "I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane.  If I can't control it, why look?"  I've always felt that I would enjoy air travel much more if they would just let me fly the damn thing! 

  

Pretty interesting stuff!  Plan to check out more. 

  

Trace - love the tale of the fish tank, poor Pierre!  Hope he is feeling better!   

  

Neecie- I'm with you, onto happy things, the idea of spring right now is lovely.  This is about the time of year that I start to slip into what I call the "winter funk".  I wouldn't mind so much that it is cold but it's the color brown that getting to me now.  I shouldn't complain but we did not get much snow this winter.  My theory is that if it is going to be cold, it might as well be pretty.  I will be looking for the tulips to start popping...that is after we get rid of the snow they are predicting for tomorrow.  LOL 

 
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March 16, 2006, 4:42 am PST

I've always liked mine

Quote From: lokithor

What was the number one song on the day you were born? (okay, I'm bored tonight)  Check out [http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm 

  

Mine was The Ballad of Davy Crockett.  Shan's was Disco Duck.  Hey, for you old fogies out there, this stuff goes back to 1890! 

  

Just wanted to say hi. 

Strange but I have always liked my song, Can't Get No Satisfaction, fortunately for me that is not the case. 

  

  

 
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March 17, 2006, 10:39 am PST

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

A bit of good cheer.... 

  

ROANOKE, Va. - When a couple left a huge tip on the table at a local restaurant, their waitress figured it had to be a joke. 

They left $1,000 to cover a bill of $26.35 and a note saying “Keep the change! Have a great day.” 

 

The gift left waitress Amanda Newkirk teary with excitement. But the 19-year-old, who is seven-months pregnant, couldn’t figure out why she’d been given such a generous tip. 

  

A couple days later, she got her answer. 

 

A 28-year-old widow called Newkirk’s boss to say she’d left the tip because she “didn’t need it,” and wanted to give it to someone who did.  Erin Dogan says she’s a shopaholic and could have easily spent the money at a mall. She says giving the money to Newkirk made her feel “phenomenal.”  

  

*Just the kind of news story that we need more of these days.   

 
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March 29, 2006, 6:57 pm PST

The Big Mouse!

Quote From: neecie24

It's such a blessing to have incredible friends like David.  Friends like that, as well as our children, make life so very much more colorful than it would be without them.  I can't WAIT to hear the stories of his adventures in Disneyland.  I, myself, am gearing myself up to take on Walt Disney World.  Most of the time, when I think about it, the whole idea seems terrifying, but I guess the best plan is to just jump in and look for ways to have fun no matter what happens.   

  

I don't see any way out of going though, since I mentioned it months ago, and at the same time, Erin's dad was talking about Disneyland at Spring Break.  However, he backed out of his plans "because he was tired of flying".  Erin is still disappointed about that.  One way or another, she and I are definitely visiting the Mouse this Summer! 

We did the Disney World thing not too long ago with the girls and had a blast!  If you can swing it try and stay at one of their hotels.  You can arrange to have them pick you up at the airport and they deal with getting your luggage from the plane, no extra charge.  All we had to worry about was a carry on, a back pack and the kids. 

  

I'm not a big fan of air travel but I do it about once year anyway.  It was so worth it to see the girls faces when they saw the castle for the first time.  One thing a friend of mine who lives nearby told me to do was backpack in the parks with your own water bottles.  To buy it in the park costs a fortune and they have water fountains everywhere to refill.  We also went in the morning when they first opened, left when it got busy and hot in the early afternoon, relaxed by the pool and then went back in the evening.  

  

Try not to be terrified, you can do it and it is almost impossible to not have fun watching your child have a blast. 

 
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April 17, 2006, 9:13 am PDT

Battle

Quote From: battlepace

 I gave you something to think about eh? Well, you're not alone. I'm less certain now about my premis than when I was trying to unwind it from my mind.

I may need to kick my own ass.

I didn't really respond to where things come from ... the "I dunno" may be the most accurate part of my idea since you are of similar mind on this matter.

I'm not sure 'seeing' is the right word. I mean it isn't bad for what I want it to represent ... but it seems a bit  large. I need something that discriminates more.

It is more a web of links that reside inside the mind. I don't how they are born or how exactly we draw upon them. I'm also not sure it is something that can really be taught ... I think it should be ... I just don't know how one would accomplish this. Perhaps since I've never studied writing there are ways of developping the linking of idea.

From what I gather however,  is that people who study the craft are given techniques, which isn't teaching seeing, rather a cover and provides a means of fake abilities.

Okay here is the example that maybe explains the problem of discord running though my mind. I had just read Legacy by James A. Michener.

(Short book by Michener standards ... 150 pages roughly. It followed a family named Starr from 1720's to 1980's. The part that drew me in was the description of events surrounding writing the Constitution of the USA ... just excellent work.)

I was suddenly excited to read more Michener. Loved Kent State, the Drifters, then I picked up a copy of  Mexico ... I think. I didn't even make it past the first chapter before I fired the book across the room, swearing at it and cursing Michener as it flew.

He knows how to write ... obviously, but I found he was applying a formula to the book. The descriptives were all there ... the mountains (check) the setting sun and colour (check) the man with a haggared face standing on the side of the road (check) the sound of the type of bird there at the right time of the season and obligatory sensual reference  (check, check, check).

It made me mad because it felt contrived. It felt as thougt he was building the story while refering to some literary check list. Referenced against technique rather than an honest description. It was beautiful gratitutious detail. There was no spontanity. It had all the elements one could be 'taught' are important to good writing ... but hit me as dry and emotionaless thereby treating the reader as stupid. There were no stiring links drawn. There was no play. I'm still mad!

This is a key difference between being creative and simply being a technician to a process.

Again with meandering mind ... an example here would be a guy named Bob Ross who showed how to do landscape paintings on PBS. While his paintings are perhaps pleasant to look at, they are repetition of technique and are crap. There is no inspiration. There is nothing original or creative in what he did.

Then I think of the work of someone like Emily Carr (painter from B.C) her work is stiring. There is life. There is breath. There is heart. She could see.

Bob could tell you which brush to use, how to represent a tree ... his work was empty.

Emily on the other hand saw something deeper, sure the same tools were employed ... brush and canvas,  yet that is where the similarity ends.

Perhaps my views are too judgemental as art is too subjective. BUT here I am heavily judgemental. Screw it!

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

We do have our individual styles and ways of processing information ... as we saw with personnality tests. This almost leads me to believe that some abilities are wired into us and regardless of teaching there is a limit for certain skill sets ... thus the links we all do draw are individual. Different things register with each of us.

Or like when I played music, I was a slave to taught technique. I could make my instrument voice all the required sounds, I could read and follow direction but I could never create.

All this to say seeing isn't the right word and learning I'm unsure about the how.  I may just be ignorant but not knowing where exactly my ignorance lies it is hard to rectify.

I've got alot more thinking to do!

Okay enough ... I must thank you for warning and protecting me from your mothers tendancy to dispatch  husbands.  

Oh, about my Neecie's feelings. I think she knows my affection for her could only be classified as a force of nature ... she is my real joy ; )

I just figured it would be easier to get papers on you if I scraficed myself to feathery festivities.

I'm worried about one thing, and have yet to discuss it with Neecie ...  I'm not sure if she'll let me adopt you. I have also neglected to mention to her my plans to kidnap Tap ... I figure you should have a couple sisters to hang out with while I'm at work.

Anyway don't worry Trace I'll apprise Neecie of my plans before things go too far, I'm sure she'll be excited ... you may want to keep this under your hat until I've found the right time to broach the subject with her and get the details all sorted out ; )


Had to add my two cents as far as Bob Ross is concerned.  I would agree that his paintings lack inspiration if you are only looking at the painting.  If you only look at the work, yes it appears empty but the question I would ask is how many individuals did he inspire to pick up a paint brush?  His contribution to the world of art should be judged more on what he was able to teach.  Case in point, me, until about 5 years ago I had not touched an artist's brush.  One day I happened upon one of his shows, I had recently bought a set of oils at a yard sale and gave it a try.  I still have much to learn but in that time I have taken some art classes and found something that I love and that I have some hidden talent.  Would I have found it without Bob Ross, probably, but his repetition of technique was able to convince me that I could paint if I tried.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is that through his work, Ross probably inspired many talented individuals whose work does have depth and are filled with life.  That, in my opinion is much more valuable.

 
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April 17, 2006, 10:20 am PDT

Perception

Quote From: cygne88

Would the word perception work instead of the word seeing? I think one's own unique perception contributes to the final piece of writing, art, etc. The trick is to renew one's perception each time. Maybe Bob Ross just on one path of perception. It was easier to teach that way. He left it up to the individual to expand on their own. Maybe only produced paintings to teach the basics, nothing else. We don't know, perhaps Bob Ross produces unbelievable art when he's not teaching!

 

Anyway, my thoughts.

 

Hugs.

Yes, Cygne that word fits much better!!!!  And thanks for expanding on what I was trying to say.  Hope you and everyone else here had a great Easter weekend.  And I hope that you enjoyed your visit with your son.
 
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April 17, 2006, 5:14 pm PDT

Just for the record

Quote From: lokithor

The website itself is not wonderful.  But check out his work.  I wrote all of the copy for his Group of Seven windows.  Emily Carr, "The Emerald Forest", is still here at my place.  He was reluctant to build that window but it's absolutely magnificent.  You should see it when the light hits a certain way.

 

My point?  I'm not sure.  One day when I stop balancing on top of the fence maybe I'll get it.  The thing is, none of us see everything in the same light.  Bob Ross inspires.  And I really don't think that he's on there to show us all how to paint something wonderful in thirty minutes.  And my writing?  Well, not everyone likes it and at least I'm smart enough to know that.  I read and read and read books about technique and they just screw me up.  So I go back to my original plan.

 

And the original plan is honesty.  If anything at all can inspire us to "see" things from another perspective, well, that's kind of okay with me.  Just for the record, and I'm not sure how this fits in, but personally I don't know my rear end from a Republican.  But oh, I do love opinions.

 

Many hugs.  From now on I'm going to call you Rooster.  Tap said that the other night after you posed the question, "Which came first?"  Reading or writing.  The chicken or the egg.

Now that I have had a chance to get caught up on some of the past few posts, I want to go on the record officially as loving your writing.  You entertain and transport the reader into your stories.  You have given some background on your mother, nothing that I've read that is descriptive in the "blue eyes, brown hair" sense but I can see her in my mind.  The story about your father's funeral had me in the church.  And you make me laugh, I like that in a person. 

 

Now it is time for you to repeat after me, "Damn, I'm good!!!"

 
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April 23, 2006, 11:06 am PDT

Trace

Sorry to have missed your day but better late than never,    Hope you had a very Happy Birthday.
 
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April 25, 2006, 4:46 pm PDT

Cygne

Quote From: cygne88

Can I go too? I don't wanna be left alone! Boo hoooooo!!!!! 

  

Hugs, 

Cygne 

I'm still here don't cry!  But if everyone else is going somewhere.... me too, me too! 

  

 

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