Messages By: loretta24

Well it is a rainy (Vicki must have sent it) dreary Sunday here so I thought I would check in again.  I must say that the idea of a field and a combine ride sounds rather romantic to me.  My hubby and I don't get much "alone" time but we hate to leave our girls anyway.  A great big field, all alone, ahh, the possibliities!!!!

 

Almost the end of summer here, but the weather is acting more like Fall.  Started thinking today about the anniversary of Katrina.  Went back and reread a post that I had written about New Orleans and came across something else.  

 

 HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BATTLE!  Mid August so I am probably a week or so late but Happy Day!  (Maybe this will prompt a response!).

 

I was a Current Events/World Events poster when Tap mentioned this site.   Met Tap, Loki, Cygne and Battle over there.   Must say I enjoy the peace and tranquility over here.  Great group of people.

 

 

 

 

Seems I missed quite a bit but anyway, Neecie maybe Erin did really react the way that you truly knew she would.  Looks like by trusting your gut and not making a big deal was the best way to handle it in the end.  Good job Mom!!!!!

 

Ami, I can relate to your issues with your Dad, mine also did the whole younger woman thing but he did manage to stay in the picture to an extent.  I have had to deal with my expectations versus reality and damn it is frustrating when family doesn't behave the way we would like them to.  I think I finally got it this past spring but I'm sure they will throw another ball my way, just hope that I'm ready to catch it!

 

Paula and Trace, glad you both had a good visit, love the view!  Hope to see you both again soon.

 

Thank you JP for letting me know I'm one of you.  I do admire the long standing friendships that you all have built.  Oh, my vote, keep the desk as it is and smile everytime you see the imperfections!!!!

 

To everyone I missed, hope you are doing well!

I woke up yesterday in a pretty crappy mood.  The media build up to the 5 year anniversary was a bit much for me I guess and I should have gotten away from the computer, newspaper and tv alot sooner.  Anyway I head out to deal with my day and one of the first people I see is a good friend that lost a sibling that day.  Me, all I had to deal with was a bad mood and a long list of errands, my friend, a visit to the grave and a memorial service.  Talk about a reality check.  So I started thinking about how hard it must be to have to share your grief with so many people.  And not just those who lost someone but those like me who just hate that day.  Grief for me is so personal.

 

So, I pick up my mood a bit because well damn if this friend can, well who am I to be cranky.  I go about my day, do what needs to be done.  And then last night when I was putting my little one to sleep it hit me....my mood was about guilt. 

 

You see around that time my husband and I were dealing with our own grief after burying both his parents at a young age the year before.  Instead of dealing with the happy stuff of our young married life, we were dealt some pretty tough cards.  Instead of it bringing us together it was pushing us apart and then 9/11.  It was a wake up call for us and reminded me that life isn't supposed to be easy all the time.  Life sometimes does suck.  So we both tuned into each other and our kids, held each other alot more and remembered why we were together in the first place.    My little girl that I was putting to bed last night would not be here if 9/11 did not happen. 

 

So much was taken from so many that day and who the hell am I to have gained something from it.  But maybe that is the best way I can honor those who paid the price, by remembering what is really important in life.

 

And yes Trace, I just keep hugging them.

So just when I need it most I come here and read about serenity.  Thanks Ami for reminding me to seek serenity.  It's the wisdom to know the difference that always messes me up!  So I think that not too long ago I posted about how I think I finally got the whole expections and family bull down.  Well of course they are back at it but instead of making me nuts for weeks it is just days now.  My wonderful husband is wondering how I ended up as semi normal as I am?!?

 

Anyway my family is driving me nuts (they can be not very nice) and the other day it is really getting to me.  So I call a friend, now this is a friend that I have had since I was 12 and she reminds me that they are all nuts and have been for years.  Boy did it help hearing it from someone who has been there with me.  Today it dawns on me, I've got an amazing group of friends, some since I was a kid, others for a lot less and that I did not get to pick my family but I sure did pick a great bunch of friends.  They don't have to love me but they do anyway.  Okay enough of that crap.

 

Trace, how is it that you can tell a story about the cable guy not showing up and it leaves me wanting more!!!!  I truly value a great story teller and you are one!  I love to read a good story and usually I don't care what catagory it falls under as long as it is told well.  Probably why although I really don't like horror that I can enjoy Stephen King.  It is all in the telling.  So Trace, keep telling.

 

Hope everyone is doing well.  Even with the crap my family is throwing at me I'm doing well.  Only took me 40 years to figure out that the family I have made is the one that truly matters. 

 

My oldest has a birthday coming up and we are hosting a bunch of giggling girls for a sleep over this weekend.  Something tells me that sleep will be the last thing occuring.  Knowing how happy she is about this helps me to realize just how wonderful this life really is.  Don't ask me if I feel that way on Sunday though.

 

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

First things first....Tap it is great to see you!!!  Our summer is done and over, our heat is now turned down and last night it was downright cold.  I love the fall here though with all the color and the crisp air.  Yesterday I bundled up my littlest one and we had lunch at the beach.  I needed to have sand in my food one last time!

 

Anyway onto the mice, my mom growing up would completely panic if she saw one.  Didn't help when my sister got a pet mouse, kept it a secret by hiding it in her room and boy did all hell break lose when it got out.  Amazingly I was able to catch the thing before my mom got to it with the broom.   The only mice that bother me are the ones that have the nerve to die within my walls.  I've had that happen twice and it stinks for weeks!  Second time I was able to narrow the location down, imagine my hubby's surprise when my solution to the problem was solved with a well placed sledge hammer in the wall.  I was about 6 months pregnant at the time so I made him remove the critter.  The live ones, well they don't spend much time in my house.  I have a sweet little cat who handles those issues.  She will even bring them outside.  Boy, I love that cat!

 

Hello all, hope everyone is well.

Hey Vicki,

 

I always seem to have a problem with birthdays.  See in my view it is your personal holiday and the day you get to be selfish because it is about you.  I used to end up disappointed because, well I guess not everyone sees it quite that way.  Oh well, I've learned not to expect much and enjoy what does happen.  Anyway....

 

I think you nailed it when you said that it was more about the last time.  You were probably hurt, disappointed and pissed off too.  Try not to let that cloud this time.  Know that you had every right to feel that way but try and let it go.

 

Now I don't know if this is possible or if it is something that you would want but maybe the answer is having your brother all to yourself for lunch on your b day.  Go along with the plans for tonight and try and arrange a little one on one to celebrate your day.

 

Well, I don't know if any of that helps much but I truly hope that you have an amazing birthday!!!!

When I was expecting my first a friend gave me a card with the quote "The decision to have a child is monumentous, it is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body." or something close to that.   Pretty much sums it up.

 

On the first day of Kindergarten for my oldest, I put her on the big yellow bus and waved goodbye.  I promptly got in my car and followed it.  From my vantage point across the street from the school I watched as my "baby" began her new adventure.  Funny thing is I wasn't the only one parked across the street so the kids wouldn't see. 

 

As a parent I feel like I spend half my time trying to keep them safe (usually from themselves), the other half trying to teach them to be independent and not need me.  How do we keep them safe in a world where terrorists (what I consider these people at least) use children to make statements, children as targets of rage against society.  I don't understand and doubt I ever will.

 

We have chosen to raise our girls in a small town where a stranger on the playground prompts police calls, where most people know each other but as the PA case shows that doesn't matter.   It could happen anywhere but I try and remember that it doesn't because if I head down that slippery slope they won't ever leave my side.

 

So I take pleasure in that even though she doesn't let me walk her to class anymore my "baby" will still give me a quick hug and kiss in the entry hall (if noone is around).  And there is the gratitude that Neecie spoke of so well.  Lots and lots of gratitude when they are all safe at home. 

 

 

Ami, I too feel such a deep sadness that such violence should touch such a peaceful people.  This morning I had tears in my eyes when I read of an Amish man who spoke to a reporter, first name only, no TV, and spoke of forgiveness and how they will visit with the gunman's widow and children to offer support and that they would send flowers.  That was the message they wanted us "english" to hear, forgiveness.  What an amazing community.

Okay Trace, I'm waiting not so patiently.  Love your stories.

 

Oh well I hope you get a chance to post it soon.  I too would like to know you better but until then you can still come visit.  I have room too so be sure you bring as many on this board as you can manage.

 

Take care.

Just popping in to say hello to everyone.  Been a bit of a crazy fall for me and mine.  The town I live in is a pretty close knit community with a lot of different ways to be an active participant.  I just forget that sometimes I can't be in two or three different places at once.  I may not make a huge difference in improving the world but I'm okay with trying in small ways to improve my corner of it. 

 

I had an experience this past month with a business deal and friends, you know how they say you shouldn't do business with friends, well I didn't listen.  I'll skip the details but sometimes you just don't know people the way you think you do.  We took the high road and didn't do what 2 attorneys and a host of others advised (namely sue).  My heart is heavier, my bank account lighter but we will bounce back.  Anyway my point in mentioning this is that right after it happened when I was getting pretty cynical and just downright pissy, this friend of mine pops her head in my kitchen (she knew what was going on) with a pretty plant, a smile and a hug.  Tells me that she's been thinking about me and wanted to let me know she cared.  Damn, just when I really wanted to hate the world.  Completely changed my attitude.  She called it just a "little something"  but boy did it mean a whole lot to me.

 

Just rambling I guess but it feels good not to feel angry anymore, as Vicki's post shows, life is too damn short.  We need to enjoy those perfect sunrises when ever the opportunity presents itself. 

 

Wishing everyone a great one!