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Messages By: jb7ctx

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July 28, 2005, 12:43 pm PDT

Thanks Jen!

Quote From: jenoc99

Oh I would be just as mad, irritated, etc., as you are about all this tax stuff!! This is totally stupid that his father thinks he can get away with this...BUT...you and I know why his father thinks he can get away with this-- its because your husband allows him to. Its unbelievable that this man would actually take money away from his son, practicaly taking food out of his own grandchildren's lives, and think nothing of it. It is unbelievable that your husband is just going to keep allowing this to happen. Your husband isn't working for his father at all at this point, yet his father has said that he is still going to keep this charade going for tax fraud? My only advice is for him (your hubby) to let his father know that he can't do that because he has to file his own taxes and his employee's taxes, and it will get his father in trouble if he does still file that your husband is his partner. I can't imagine what your husband is so "scared" of regarding his parents...it sounds like they are totaly uninvolved in your lives, what does he have to lose? He will be gaining self respect, and that is something you can't put a price tag on, you know?

 

You always have such good advice for others regarding problems with thier in-laws here on this message board. Can you pretend, just for a few moments, that your posting was someone else's and ask yourself what advice you would give that woman?  I wish you the best, keep your chin up.

Jen

I just had to vent. I am so tired of this crap! I dont know why my husband has a hard time standing up to his father about this. He dont mind standing up to me and telling me NO, or even arguing with me. For the last 6 years we have been screwed out of over 10,000.00 because of his dad. This year, over 3,000.00. My husbands own brother told him that he is getting screwed over by his dad and that is why he wont work for him. He moved to another state to get away from them so they cant control his life. I am taking my husband to another tax accountant so that she can explain to him how to do things right and what is going on. That money could have been used to pay off my vehicle, or to send me to the Dr. to get some nerve pills, because they get on my nerves! I am now going to think about what I would say if it were me, (which of course it is) and what my advice would be to me. (kinda funny) LOL! My husband said for me not to worry about the money because he makes enough to take care of all of us. (get real)! I dont know what planet he is on. He knows he is going to have to take care of this situation with his dad or I am leaving him. I am tired of being treated like I am nothing and dont exist. Hell NO, they cant keep our money! I think I am going to admit myself to an insane asylum. They are driving me crazy! I am going to keep my chin up and also I am going to keep my nose up at my mil since she does it to me. Now I am going to give myself some advice. LOL! Wish me luck!
 
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July 28, 2005, 6:17 pm PDT

James, here is the link

Quote From: jamesstein

I did find one with those keywords and I will do some more searching .. http://www.fightcps.com/ thanks for the help .. Question though and I am not a lawyer but I do have a civil case filed on DSS .. does anyone know why the media and the lawyers wont take anything to do with social services ?? I mean they have the resources to stop the " Government Kidnapers Of Children "..
Type in http://forum.fightcps.com or click on this link. When the page opens click on Child Protective Services False Accusations/family rights v.... when that page opens click on CPS investigations and you will find alot of people on there who are going through what you are and even some people on there who can advise you on what you need to do. If the media wont help, write your story and publish it in the newspapers. Good Luck!
 
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July 28, 2005, 6:49 pm PDT

Dear Hurtbad

I just wanted to say that I have done some research on Diabetes because my 5 y/o son has it. Diabetes does affect your libido. Also, alcohol will cause a diabetic person to go into a coma and even cause death. Alcohol is nothing but sugar and is definately NOT something a diabetic should drink especially if he is drinking himself into a stupor, he will be drinking himself to his death. He needs to get a job where he can stay at home every night and not be off somewhere else. Counseling will be good for you guys but also HE needs to get counseling for his Diabetes so he will know how to take better care of himself.
 
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July 28, 2005, 7:14 pm PDT

Hey! Thanks!

Quote From: marcia52

Hi, just wanted to let you know that cancelling a credit card can damage your credit score.  Yes, for real!!!  Suze Orman said it once and then I just read it again in a magazine. 

 

I'm using Suze Orman's book The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom  to help me deal with my fears.  I've been spending years getting to this point.  One of the reasons I'm so in debt is because of my unhappiness at my job and with my life itself.  But I did manage to do something every so often to help to get to this point in my life.

 

SInce chosing this goal, I have learned many things:

  1. Don't cancel a credit card.
  2. If you owe more than 50% of your credit limit, your credit score is effected.
  3. You figure out which credit card has the highest financial charge and you go after that first.
  4. And that I know nothing about how my credit score is determined and how I'm going to get it back to the high score I had a few years ago.

Well, #2 isn't the highest, #3 has the lowest balance.  #4 means I'm going to have to learn - luckily, I signed up for something called CREDIT OBSERVER when I started to hear so much about theft identity.  It's an insurance type thing and it sends me a quarterly report of my credit report.

 

Now that I'm focused on this goal, I can now use their service to help me learn.  They have something called "Credit Education Specialists".  And they have a 1-800 too boot. 

 

My goal is to pay off the lowest balance and then begin tackling the next credit card.

 

I think that what shocked me the most was that my credit card companies had raised my finance charge %s and I never caught it.  I had one that was at 6.5% and now it's at 11.99%.  It happened to my mom as well and she has another credit card company. 

 

Have you attempted to track your daily spending? or are you good at that? My goal is to conquer my MINDLESS SPENDING by 10/1/05.  I'm doing rather good.  This was my first month to track my spending and it was surprising to say the least.   I was really off on "ALLOCATING FUNDS" - but it was my 1st attempt and now, I know that I can be more realistic than when I started.  (It's one of the things that Suze wants me to do.)

I havent heard of the book you mentioned before, but I think I might have to check it out. Thanks! I am pretty good at tracking my spending, but my problem is every time I go to a walmart or a target, I always end up spending alot of money, so I avoid them stores as much as possible. I am what you would call a "compulsive" buyer. If I see something I like, I get it. I'm not bad off in debt but if I keep getting out like I have lately, then, I will be. My bills get paid for sure and so do my credit cards but its like the more I pay, the more I charge. YIKES! I have only 2 credit cards and one is high but not maxed out (yet) so my goal is to NOT charge anymore and hopefully get them paid off before Christmas, so I can charge again:) I am going to look for that book, and I hope I dont have to go to walmart or target to find it. lol
 
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July 29, 2005, 6:27 pm PDT

Hi Harobe

Quote From: harobe

I understand you being tired of "them" and the relentless frustration... and how sad for the kids.  Why do you suppose your son didn't reply when his grandmother spoke to him?  It still seems you're the only hope of ending this battle.

 

Tax issues are complicated...  the accountant can explain and your tax forms will clarify the money issue.  But from my understanding -    Hubby's income is his profit (as FIL's profit is his income).  They each pay fed/state, SS, etc. and file as individuals.  It's not tax fraud and FIL doesn't benefit financially, nor does it put hubby at a financial disadvantage for the partnership to continue.  Hubby can have a separate business even though the partnership exists.... one has nothing to do with the other.  The question is, did FIL send in the withholdings?  Seems he did since you indicated the accountant said it paid for the SS hubby owed.  I suggest you talk with the accountant again so you have a full understanding of what's going on.  Take care.  :)    

I think my son didnt reply because he probably doesnt remember who she is. (guessing). It has been 10 months since he has last seen her. I know my husbands father has held out taxes on my husband as if he were an "employee" (have proof) and he "supposedly" had sent them in. But where the catch is, he claims him as a partner (on tax paper only). The tax accountant is not aware of this. She actually thinks that my husband is a partner. What happened is he didnt send in hubbies taxes (like an employee), (like he should have) so now it is causing us to not get our refund. This has happened for 6 years now. HIs father is de-frauding the government and using my husband to his gain to help him with his company taxes. Husband has never received any profits from the company because he isnt really his partner, only on paper to the taxes.
 
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July 29, 2005, 6:41 pm PDT

Do What?!?!

Quote From: faybian

I'm npt quite sure what to do about this, if anything.  My husband and I have been married for

2 1/2 years.  His x-wife lives in anohter state with their 3 children.  Recently the oldest boy broke the law and had to go to court.  My husband drove to 4 hours to another state to be there for his son.  Subsequently he's been back and this last time he fell asleep on the couch.  He told me that he was tired and needed some sleep.  He's going back again because of another court date and is planning to stay all night go to court the next day and then return home.

 

I have voiced my anger with him for making the choice to sleep there " Handle your business then get on down the road" and I have asked him not to sleep there because its not right.  I've asked to accompany him on the trip, but he doesn't want to hurt her.  He said to me  " How would you feel if you were in her place?"  It would seem to me that his son could use all the support he could get.

He continues to ignore how I feel and I don't know what to do about it. 

I would pack his bags (everything he owns) and send him on his merry way! Why is he worried about how she would feel, when you are his wife? Dont your feelings count?j How would he feel if the shoe were on the other foot? If nothing else, he could stay in a hotel but he shouldnt stay at her house! Put your foot down and tell him you are uncomfortable with him staying there. If nothing else, you go with him and stay at her house too! I wouldnt want my husband to stay at his ex's house. HECK NO!
 
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August 9, 2005, 9:00 am PDT

Hi

Quote From: johnster

Is this the right place to look for advice on step-parenting?  My wife has a 14 year old daughter that is sweet, talented and smart . . . but spoiled, according to my estimations.  I have big problems dealing with this.  It makes me mad when she doesn't act like I expect her to, yet I don't want to put any bad ideas in my wife's head about having a bad relationship with her daughter.  The daughter often seems distant towards me when we're alone, and somewhat more loving when her mom's around.  I don't know what is normal for teenagers behavior.  I have no children of my own.  We could go days without speaking to each other.  She does her thing and I do mine.  Thank goodness I work nights and don't have to be around them in the evenings.  I sometimes leave for work early so I don't have to be around her.  I want to be a loving dad to her, but just don't like her much.  I'd like to change my attitude towards her and have a happy home life.  any advise is welcome.
Teenagers are sometimes difficult to understand. I have a 15 y/o and my husband is her step-father. I will agree that my daughter is spoiled as well. She and my husband dont have much to say to each other as well, unless I am around. They do get along but I know she feels uncomfortable around him when it is the two of them together. She trust him and vice versa but it is kinda strange to them when they are alone with their step-parent. My husband just bought my daughter a 1998 mustang because she will soon be 16 this weekend. He does alot for my daughter and she respects that, but now a days, teens have their own things to do. It isnt that she doesnt like him, she is just more comfortable talking to her friends than him. He thinks that she doesnt like him but she does. She just has a hard time showing it to him. (I havent figured that out yet). You can build a relationship with your step daughter by trying to get involved in her life. Maybe take her shopping together (you and her), listen to her kind of music (even though it hurts your ears),  Joke around with her, or even help her with homework. My husband is doing these things with my daughter and they are getting along fine, sometimes they have quarrels (like kids)  but they work it out and she has to understand he is the parent figure, not just a friend figure. Sometimes she thinks she doesnt have to listen to him because he is not her real dad, and that is where I step in and let her know that he is the adult, and she is the child, and she has to do what he says also. He is not trying to replace her real dad, but he is still the father figure here at our home. Try to communicate with your step-daughter when her mom is not at home like ask her how her day was, or something. Get to know her for who she is. They will never be what we want them to be, they are individuals like us, and all we can do is set good examples for them. Start conversation and talk to her. Act silly with her. My husband does and he listens to her music and dances around and cuts up. It really breaks the ice. Good luck!
 
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August 9, 2005, 9:07 am PDT

update

We got a full-time nurse!! Today is the first day of school for my son. He is excited, I am depressed. He was happy to leave me, I wasnt happy to leave him. I said "bye", he said "bye". I said "I love you", he just turned his head real quick like he didnt hear me and walked off. (I guess I may have embarassed him). He wouldnt even give me a kiss. lol! Oh well, I cant wait until he comes home today! Just wanted to share our good news.
 
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August 12, 2005, 1:55 pm PDT

School lunches this year....

Quote From: ceders2

Here in Australia the school's are really trying very hard to have foods that are less in fat and sugar. As there is a big problem these days with children becoming obese and there is a higher risk of these children ending up with Type 2 Diabetes.  

  

Also now in most school's here the teachers are trying a program that see's the children having more exercise time, meaning that they do more sports activities and such. All this makes alot of sense as children these days aren't as active as we were as children. The children these days rather play computer games and or watch TV then to go outside and ride their bike or go and play with their friends outside if you know what I mean!! 

  

Also, it's up to parents to make sure their children are eating the right foods at home too. Try limiting take-away foods(Junk foods) to maybe once a week. And when you do get take-away you can get foods that are more healthy that say going to McDonalds or KFC.   

  

Some suggestions would be: Thin crust pizza's from a Italian Pizza shop(not the likes of Pizza Hut). Or Pasta with a tomato based sauce not creamy sauces. If you have to have hamburgers go to your local take-away shop and buy their hamburgers as they have less fat in them than the likes of McDonalds!! 

  

Anyway, when it comes to your children's health you should always want only the best for them. Lots of fresh foods like, fruit and veg's!! 

  

By the way, just so you know I am Diabetic myself and I wouldn't wish this on anyone especially children. TAKE CARE. LOVE KELLY. 

This year all of public schools that are around me are now eliminating "junk food", and "sugar" from their snacks and lunches. No more cokes, no more candy bars, notta. They are only serving healthy foods and such. They are also considering doing away with pizza at school. It is actually a good thing for my son because he just started kindergarten and he is a Type 1 diabetic. (insulin dependant). However, my teenager on the other hand isnt to thrilled. But I think they all will adjust to it. My son has alreaady adjusted to living his life w/o sugar unless an emergency comes up with him. Statistics show, here in America, every 3 out of 5 children now a days are developing type 1 diabetes. They have yet to determine what causes type 1 diabetes.
 
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August 13, 2005, 9:35 am PDT

I enjoy it!

I, too, am a stay at home mom. 2 of my children are in school and one stays at home with me, until next year. I have one room in my home set up like a preschool room. I teach my 4 y/o at home for now and I help my 5 y/o with his writing and such in our "special preschool room".  We just made this room for our toddlers and I love it!  Being a stay at home mom has many challenges and rewards. When my 4 y/o goes to school next year, I am still going to stay at home. Who else is going to do all that I do around here if I went to work? My work is here. I am a mother, a wife, a laundress, a house cleaner, a cook, a waitress, a dish washer, a doctor/nurse, , a yard keeper, a babysitter and a bus driver (own car) sometimes, a gardener, a shopper, a book keeper, and an organizer. My husband thinks I have it made by staying at home, but if he had to pay someone to come in here and do all that I do here, he would not be able to afford them. If I got paid for everything I do, my salary would be "greater" than his. LOL! Actually, I think he knows that he has it made. I enjoy doing all these things and I wouldnt want no one else to do it for me because I feel no one else can do it the way I do. I am OCD. Everything has to be done just so. I work 7 days/nights each week. The only time I get a vacation is when I am sick, or on Mothers Day, or my B-day. Above all, I get to be here for my kids and they can count on me. Other than all of this, I am glad I get to be a stay at home mom. I enjoy it!!!!
 

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