Messages By: turtleplus

Hello there,

I am new to message boards and don't often get to post/get on the net. I am 45yrs old, single professional counselor and just feeling really lost on my spirit's journey. I spend a lot of time just working with families and adolescents and trying to fit in time for myself. I like to jog, and do so 4miles per day, and swim for 2 miles, it helps to reduce stress, keeps me fit and trim and hopefully makes me attractive to a potential mate. I am Native American and participate to two different worlds. It's getting hard to keep it going... When I have my professional hat on, it feels so natural and I have such fun with it, despite all the problems I deal with with my families. Yet, when I come home and I am alone, I often wonder if I have walked my path in truth and made a difference. I have no children, and no partner except Spirit. I often find myself wondering why my Higher self would choose such a path for me, yet, I accept this path but, not sure anymore how to continue the walk/journey.

I welcome any feedback/ideas.

Spirit Bless,

Monica

 Hello group,

I am so glad there are places like this for people to let go of their thoughts. I very new to all of this, and at 45yrs old and single I would not have imagined that I would need to express my feelings to total strangers. I am a professional in the helping field, and work with families very intesively, I am available to my families 24/7 which is part of the job. I've been in the field for 20+ years. And here I am alone, with no family, my immediate family is on reservations in various parts of the country, I am the only one in my family who is out in the "white world". I feel really alone because of my profession and also because of my culture. I am seeing a man but, he has many medical issues and I am sure, that he does'nt feel he can provide me with any kind of life. Yet he does'nt understand that just my time with him and how I feel being with him, and being in nature with him, is all I need. I have'nt really told him this either.  I am sooo tired of feeling alone and not feeling connected to anyone. If I go to my family, I connect to the old ways and my ancestors, which is fine, but, it's not all of this reality. If I connect with this "working america" I am isolated from my culture and my beliefs. Trying to bridge the gap between all worlds is soo hard and so lonely. Is it worth it? I want so desparately to find a mate who can share and appreciate both worlds with me. Is this a pipe dream? How do we get connected? I've been raised as a medicine person, and I feel connected to a tribe, but, it's not the same as feeling connected to that one special person. I am feeling very disheartened because I have'nt connected with that special person. Am I loosing sight?

Spirit Bless,

Monica

I appreciate so much the wonderful feedback I got from everyone. Thoughts of good thoughts and insights. I am learning to scuba dive as a means of getting out there to meet other people. I have also taken up kayaking . I am so outdoorsey, so I try to get involved in those types of activities. It's helped, I am making friends. I am also working very hard at learning to say no to clients and make the time for myself. It's hard though, when you feel so good about yourself professionally, yet have to deal with the personal emptiness, it's always easier to take the path of less resistance. I want to thank everyone for their messages and words of encouragement and insight.  I feel like I have a place to come and just talk. 

Spirit Bless 

Monica