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Messages By: ginger051

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Depressed

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hopeful
August 31, 2005, 10:20 pm CDT

adopting

Quote From: mama2faith

Hi Dr. Phil and friends,
We are Bill, Nicole and Faith and we are a fun loving Christian family living in San Diego, Ca.
After years of infertility treatments and surgeries we choose to parent rather than give birth to our daughter. One day in 2000 Nicole decided to build an adoption website geared to a courageous and unselfish woman looking for an OPEN adoption plan.
Well the rest is history as we were blessed by a wonderful birth family with the birth of our daughter Faith who will be five next month.
We are wishing and hoping to OPENLY adopt another baby into our home so we can forever love him or her. It is so hard these days out here in the adoption world when you are networking and doing everything possible to make that connection. We have come across quite a few scammers that thankfully we never financially helped but emotionally it has drained us. Can you give us some tips on how to keep our chins up when things look down. The power of prayer is a great thing in our lives and we try to let go and LET GOD all the time but sometimes being human gets the better of us!
Sincerely you favorite family of viewers!
Bill, Nicole & Faith
http://www.adoptionprayer.com
WE LOVE YOU ALL AT THE DR. PHIL SHOW!! If only the world could be made up of more people like you and Robin we would be living in a wonderful world!!
I am a foster parent and see children placed in foster care that become available for adoption.  Have you considered that option as a way to add to your family?
 
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Depressed

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angry
February 11, 2006, 9:51 pm CST

Child, teen abuse

I was sexually abused by my step-father at the age of 7.  He continued until I was 16.  I tried to tell my mom and he would always say "what would I want with her she is just a kid"  or look how she dresses ( I wore flannel pajamas). One time when I was in 6th grade and  everyone was gone to the grocery store I was up in my room reading a book and he came up and tried to do things and even offered me money not to tell.  I took the money and told my brothers when they came home and they told my mom because we didnt have much money and they never got any so they were jealous..which is what I was hoping for, and she confronted him with me right there and he called me a liar and said I had taken change from his pants pocket...so I got in trouble for stealing and once again she believed him. He used to take her out drinking and deliberately get in fights with her so he could leave her and he would come home and try to abuse me...when I was 16 I moved 

to an Aunt and Uncles and HE abused me and they walked around nude all the time with 4 young children in the home. So I moved back home.  Then my three brothers abused me...I tried to get a job as a live in child care helper and I was going to tell my mom about all of it and how I hated it but my step-dad drove me and my mom to the interview...fortunately they had a long sidewalk and I was able to tell her on the way to the door...within a month she has left him.  Too little too late.  I was such a mess...that was in the late 60's and there was no one that I could tell that would do anything to get me help.  I ended up pregnant at 16 and had the child at almost 17.  She is 38 now and I kept her but it was hard because I ended up marrying the first guy that came along that would marry me...it lasted 16 years, but I was unhappy the whole marriage even tho I had 3 wonderful sons from the marriage.  I am angry that I had no one I could go to. But I am glad that kids nowadays can go to an adult and be believed. 

 
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Depressed

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frustrated
February 11, 2006, 10:19 pm CST

Father abusing you

Quote From: jaded2212

A little over two years ago, when I was 17, my father touched me while I was sleeping and since then, my life has been turned upside down. My family has had no sympathy for my situation. Just one week after the incident, my mother allowed my father to come back to our house. I don't know how to cope with what has happened. The worst part is that the rest of my family thinks that I am a spoiled brat for not wanting anything to do with my father.  My family has made it very clear that they think I am over-exaggerating the whole situation. My mother tries to act like it never happened. My family is totally financially dependent upon my father's income, as well as myself, and my mother says that I owe him for everything because I never went without on Christmas and B-days.  

  

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about my father now. Also, is it wrong to accept money and gifts from my father; even though it feels like he is trying to buy back my trust. Please, if anyone has been vicitmized by one of their parents, please share your experience with me and also any tools that helped you move on.   

You definitely need to take control and get out.  I wish I had known how to do that when I was your age.  Maybe I wouldnt have gone so many years feeling alone and not knowing how to feel good about myself,  You also need to report him..if you think you could. He needs to take responsibility for what he has done and you dont want him to do this to someone else...because he WILL do it to someone else if he has gotten away with it with you and your mother protecting him.  My mother failed to protect me and I was angry at her for years.  She was killed in a car wreck in 1989 and that day she apologized to me and said she didnt know how she could support us (there were 6 of us) and that she wished she knew she could support us (like she did eventually) and she would have left him sooner.  Anyway I wish you the best of luck and go for it!  You will be glad you did...
 
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Depressed

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blank
August 8, 2006, 8:58 am CDT

See this too much

I am a foster parent and I see this so much...my concern was that too little attention was paid to the father and his abuse.(using the stick on them, kicking them etc)...he may not have done as much as the mother, but how much is acceptable? NONE.  From experience I know that the more people like this get away with it, the worse it gets. I grew up in a house with all kinds of abuse; sexual, verbal, physical etc.  Back then, it was kept private in the family.  I never got help, but in the 40+ years since then have spent thousands of dollars in various types of counseling...the hurt and pain never goes away.  These children are just a tiny sample of the abuse that is going on.in this country. Please, if anyone sees this happening do not hesitate to call your local Childrens Services...you could be saving a life because some of these situations end up in death!
 

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