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Messages By: ouspanky

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July 25, 2005, 2:49 pm CDT

hope this helps

It is always hard to break up but even worse when you have children with someone.  Is sounds to me like he is not coming back...he got a job and found a church...and you need closure from him.  You need to hear from him it is.  The difficult part is that he may not give you that closure.  He may think that if he does not then you won't move on and when he wants to come back he can.  you need to kich him to the curb.  He sounds like you can find someone better....he cant even tell you he is leaving and just doesm, he misses his sons first birthday and knows how much pain he is causing you and does not seem to care much.  Is your family around?  This will be a tough pregnancy and even harder delivery and yet harder to care for two children under two.  you will need to support of someone...either family or friends or even a church...to help you get through this.  Don't ever forget that you can get through this and you will because your children need YOU.  they truely love you and you should start collecting some child support from him because you may need to money too.

 
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July 25, 2005, 8:30 pm CDT

are you kidding

to not sure what you want to do....are you kidding.  this guys is seeing other girls and only considers you as friends with benefits?  you are being used by him for what he wants.  he does not have to take you out to eat or on dates and you still give him sex.  Maybe that is all you are looking for but i am sure that his friends do not think highly of you because you do sleep with someone, and they are not even your boyfriend.  They may even think that you do not have much self respect or self worth because you and him are not really in a relationship and he is seeing other girls.  wether he is sleeping with them or not should not matter you need to end that relationship and fast before you get "attached emotional" and want more and then get hurt more in the end.  there are plently of other guys out there who will and can treat you better than that.

 
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July 25, 2005, 8:41 pm CDT

yicks

i was kind of in a similar experience. I was dating a guy 2 months and had sex a couple times a month for a couple of months and then all of a sudden it stopped.  nothing for 8 months.  he would not even try anything or act like he was in the mood.  prior to him stopping i noticed that sometimes he would not get as hard as others or would go limp when i touched it.  i just kind of blew it off but after we had not done it for a while you almost feel as if you did something wrong.  i was not sure how to approach him about it but did not want it to be the cause of why our relationship ended.  i would breifly mention it and he would give me an excuse that i was not so sure about.  i wanted to try and get him to go to counseling because i think it was related to self-esteem issues.  we never did but eventually ass of a sudden he changed one moring and now we have sex about 2 times a week...which is good for me.  I just think that there has got to be an underlying issue as to why but the hard part is finding it out.  Four years is such a long time and not fair to you.
 

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