Quote From: momisme2Im sorry things arent going well for you, Oreo. :( You havent mentioned much about your mother and im wondering if you can tell me the mean things she does?(besides close her eyes to her husbands behaviorwhich is mean enough in my opinion)
I think perhaps you feel the counselor is a waste of time because you are scared of throwing it all out on the table? Im no shrink but it seems an easy thing to say its a waste of time and you dont want to go as opposed to telling the counselor all that has gone on with you. Course, I think I have harrassed you enough over speaking to your counselor. Getting tired of me always saying that to you? Too bad! :P tehe Just teasing you sweetie! ;)
Did you know alot of people who have been sexually abused are anerexic? Alot of people feel that their weight and eating are about the only things in their control when abused. Since others have so much control over us, how we eat and what we eat seems to be at least one thing about our bodies we can still be in charge of. I dont know if your anerexic Oreo, just mentioning... I do know that eating proper food can help your mind and body. I also know a couple women who eat and eat and eat and are as skinny as can be. *jealous face* lol Perhaps you are like them and just have a higher metabolism. Focus on eating healthy and if you do try not to worry about what others may think of your appearance. As long as you eat as you should, youre doing what you need to.
Now about this man you met... You sound interested. Are you? I havent heard you speak of a boyfriend or any guys you are interested in once since ive known you on this board. So even that you bring him up makes me wonder if you are wanting a relationship with him. I know he is older then you, and perhaps im wrong totell youthis, but when I met my husband I was 17 and he was 25! I didnt much care that it was illegal to date him. LOL Course, I was almost 18, but still... How come you said you couldnt date him if you wanted? You are not allowed to date? Is he a good man? Do you know him well? Details on that whole thing if you dont mind.
About your dad, I think he probably has an idea of whats going on and wants to get you out of the house to protect you. How have you been feeling about that? Are you wanting to go with him?
Normally I would agree with someone who says they arent doing much to change their lives so they shouldnt complain. Im a big one on actions when things arent working. But youre young sweetie and in a bad place so it isntthe same to me. You go ahead and complain all you want! I think you have more then earned that right!
p.s. I have tried to make paragraphs in this post for easier reading but its not working as it did before. Anyone know how to do paragraphs in this new format? I double spaced between them but it still comes up all bunched together.
Momisme, It's hard to explain how my mom is and to be honest it's quite embarrassing to bring up how she is, I guess that's why I never really mention her on here I guess. My mom doesn't see anything wrong in how my step dad treats my brothers and I.... she always explained it as... he hits us because he loves and cares about us, sometimes.... at other times she tells us that we deserve it... well me anyway. Talking to my mom about my step dad is like walking down a dead end street. When I finally told her about my grandfather and the things that he had done, though expected, she completely blamed me. She beat the crap out of me to the point that my brother had to pry her off of me. She called me all kinds of names and then told me that she wasn't going to tell my father (stepdad) about what I've been doing. Then she left me home alone with my grandfather when I didn't go to school because of all the bruises she left on me. He stayed for a week after that until my brother finally called the cops on him. Anyway, my mom had been quite upset with me about that whole situation to the point of not even speaking to me because she was disgusted I guess. She wasn't much help to me with that whole thing. Not to long ago I had fallen down a flight of stairs (at our house) knocked my self unconscious and had to go to the hospital and all. Well apparently that shook her up a bit and she realized that I could have killed myself. It was like she had an epiphany or something and then she was being all nice to me, which she still was up until the other day. After I met the guy that I'm talking to, I decided to talk to her about me having a boyfriend and she completely blew up on me. She told me that I only wanted a boyfriend so I could have sex with him. Then my dad came and talked to her about us coming to live with him and stuff like that, and she got mad at me about it... asking me what I told him and all. So, now she's back to being, what I consider, her mean self... as in... yelling... name calling... blaming... stuff like that. I figured the niceness wouldn't last but it was nice while it lasted I guess. My relationship with my mom was never a good one from as far back as her marrying my step dad. It's a long story I guess.
Oh yeah, I never said that me going to counselling is a waste of time. I said that I feel like I'm wasting the counselors time... or is that the same?.... I don't know... maybe.
As for what you said about anorexics and being sexually abused.... I am aware of that... sort of. I usually eat right but since alot has been going on this year I have lost weight but not intentionally. I know that if I don't eat I lose weight but I'm not purposely not eating... I just don't have much of an appetite these days. However, I did eat something yesterday. So I am trying.
As for the guy I met. I met him last week at the store when I went with my brother. He told me that I had pretty eyes and we talked briefly and he gave me his number. I've called him a few times. And no, according to my step dad, I'm not allowed to date, even though my brothers are. The rules on it are different when it comes to me.... that's why I tried talking to my mom about it.. but it didn't work out. I know that talking to him behind there backs will only get me in more trouble but I really do like him. He's really nice and really sweet. He's 22 and lives with a roommate and he was in college but is on a break from it right now. The age doesn't bother me much because I like older guys but I'm aware that dating him could get him in trouble because of my age. I'm not sneaking off with him in the middle of the night or anything all we do is talk although, he has asked me to go out with him........ And yeah, your right, I don't talk about guys on this board... mainly because... I haven't really dated anyone or have been interested in anyone except for this one guy but that was a mistake. I have issues when it comes to men... boyfriends... so my boundaries are pretty screwed up and at times I can be naive aobut things.
As for my dad, I've told him about some stuff that has been going on here... my brothers have too. He's being very adament about us going to live with him... and to a degree I just want him to back off a bit... but I know he won't. I know he cares about us and all and I know that he suspects that there's alot more going on than what we've told him. (he told me that) And I know that I need to do something... like tell him the truth... it's not fair to him.
Hey guys. I'm gonna try this again. lol
Mjkkas, thanks for the advice about going with my heart and all. I've made alot of mistakes not doing that when it comes to guys. I mean like being careless and trusting. And I'm sorry about what happened to your daughter. As for my mom, I'd agree that she's not as bad as your mom but abuse is abuse I guess... I honestly never thought of it that way... I always considered it as.. that's just how she is.... I don't know. But yeah... your mom sucks. How did you finally get away from her?