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Messages By: michelyne5

michelyne5
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July 23, 2005, 5:39 am PDT

Hi Teri

Well, looks as if we get our message board back...I have missed reading everybody's input....

Hope everyone is doing well.

Teri

I have missed the board too , glad to see you back hope to continue to learn from everybody.

 

Summer is wonderful in Quebec Canada it has been the most wonderful summer since 20 years.Just finishing my 2 weeks vacation and  feeling great .A lot of great things going on in my life, starting with a new house we are buying , an operation that is going to give me a part of a normal life so life is treating me good.Hope you are doing fine too.

 

Nice to be back for a new beginning

 

Sincerly Lyne 
 
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michelyne5
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July 24, 2005, 5:30 am PDT

Teri,

Lyne,

I am so glad to hear you doing well! We are planning our vacation, and it looks like we will be going north, to Vancouver Island. We live in Idaho, so this will be a treat for us. We love to kayak, and this looks like a wonderful place to sea kayak.

Life is good. I am trying to stay on track with my goals while taking a moment to play. This is hard for me, as I tend to become pretty focused.

I hope healing from your operation will go smoothly and quickly! I rejoice with you for your happines!

Teri

Hi Teri,

 

Glad to see that your taking time for vacation, Vancouver should be a great place to kayak sights are wonderful down there . Hope it brings you a good rest and serenity for the goals still ahead.

 

Be good to yourself

 

Sincerly Lyne
 
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michelyne5
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July 25, 2005, 2:50 am PDT

hi pal

It's good to hear from everyone again. I missed checking in everyday, and getting LS's daily thought provoking quotes. Haven't taken the big hike yet, but I think it's getting close. Everybody, continue to send your thoughts and prayers out to Lynn618, she could use them.

Hi Ritehere,

 

It is good to see you back on the board, your input is always refreshing to read and your wisdom is clearly something i acknowledge and look for.

 

Thank you for your kinds words for Lynn i sure will say a prayer for her.

 

Have a nice day

 

Sincerly Lyne
 
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michelyne5
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July 28, 2005, 4:04 pm PDT

dear lynn

Quote From: lynne618

Thought I would drop in and say Hi and Thank you all for your thoughts & prayers through e-mail and also here on the board . You all have been wonderful support here , Thank - You !! Husband & I are hoping Doctors have more answers for us on Friday . I will post ; let you all know when we find out . It the waiting and not knowing is really getting to us both . It is very trying time . We will pull throw this - I hope . Thank you all so much for all the prayers and thoughts . Lynn

thank you for taking the time to write to us.My prayers are with you thu those bad times.

 

Hope everything clears up and the doctors gives you good news.

 

Take care lost of hugs and prayers coming you way

 

Sincerly Lyne
 
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michelyne5
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August 8, 2005, 2:47 pm PDT

Bravo !

Quote From: ritehere

This is the view west from the summit. I believe the body of water is Dillon Reservoir. Grub, I saw no ealges, only ravens. At the top I was above the ravens. I watched them riding the air currents on the way up, during my many breaks to overcome dizziness, but couln't get a good picture.

Dear Titehere, 

  

Congratulation on your climbing but most of all congratulation on your perseverance. It takes alot of courage to attack such a huge mountain.You must feel so hight with yourself for having done such an accouplishment. I can see now why your respond to the message board is so clear ,with such a clarity of what you can do it is no surprise that sky is limit for someone like you. I wish  you peace and serenity on ground now that you have left the summit. 

  

Have your heard from Lynne.I have not receive any news i hope she is doing well. 

  

Thanks again for the nice pictures 

  

Take care 

Sincerly Lyne 
 
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michelyne5
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August 9, 2005, 5:58 pm PDT

Dear Ritehere

Quote From: ritehere

 Thanks, but it wasn't clear that I would make it for awhile. Yes, I've heard from Lynn. She is hanging in there, and her husband too. E-mail her, I'll bet she'd love to hear from you.
Have you had your surgery? It's great to hear from you too.

Hi, 

  

Thanks for the news from Lynn she means alot to me some how i feel connecte to her so i am glad she hanging in there.As for myself i didn't have my surgery yet it is only in febuary the 2 nd. 

I am having lapband surgery to the stomach to help me loose some weight to help with my multiple sclerosis and it is going to give me a more normal life and maybe i can go for walk like others do. 

My life at the moment is wonderful with the new house we just bought with my twin sister we have wonderful plans to decorate and spent some times together so as you can see my top of the mountain is for febuary  2 . It is a dream come true for me to do this for myself , the surgery is not without danger but it is the best scenario to gain a little freedom . 

  

I am reading all your postings and everything everybody has to say about growing and finding authentic self and it helps me do deal with my everyday  crises with my illness and i stay positive and i look foward to the next morning and i thank God for taking care of me and giving me strenth 

  

Thank you all 

Sincerly Lyne 
 
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michelyne5
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August 17, 2005, 8:50 am PDT

Dear Brenda,

Quote From: blgspc

After I returned my sister and my niece to the airport for their return flight, I had planned to hem-up loose ends regarding the building of my house and come home on Sunday. However, on Saturday evening my mother cornered me and began lamenting about her intense sadness about how my sister and I had never praised her on her mothering, never thanking her for all that she did. She then went on at length about how she had completed household chores when we were adolescents. Thus, I thanked her for the chores she did. Then using the kindest and most sensitive words and tone, I carefully explained that mothering, parenting involved more than ‘chores’. Further, that the relationship between parent and child involved more than one person. My mother stormed off in a huff. I really knew that I had NOT said what she wanted to hear because that would require extensive lying. On some level I knew that THIS was NOT over and that she WOULD devise a plan to disrupt the ENTIRE household in some way before I left. 

On Sunday she was up but refused to speak, refused to have lunch with my father and I, refused to interact verbally, period and ultimately returned to bed. As I concluded my packing I heard an all TOO familiar sound emanating from her room, loud talking and whaling that would require someone to come and check on her which I reluctantly did. Upon entering her room she was sobbing and yelling about how ‘thankless’ and awful her children were, that she felt God was punishing her by sending her people like us to her and (straight out of that scene from Young Frankenstein ), “I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE!!!” When I approached her she angrily swatted at me and warned me to ‘Get AWAY from ME!’ My poor tired father came in and she continued her ranting, insisted that he fetch her an additional dose of her tranquiller because of her dreadful children, “They don’t love me!” My father went to fetch an additional pill for her as I-outside of striking distance- began trying to talk with her. She initially refused to listen and began screaming to the top of her lungs to drown me out. I remained with her and continued to talk with her. She was seeking the ‘praise’ I had not offered the night before. Since I was unwilling to lie, I began talking to her about the belief I have that God puts every person in our lives for a reason. Further, that I believed that she was placed there for a reason. I spoke of how our circumstance allowed us to become self-reliant very early in our lives and that without her life for my sister and I would not have been possible. I also explained, that in our own way, we did in fact love her but neither she nor my sister and I had ANYTHING like a traditional mother/child relationship. Initially, she steam-rolled saying, “It’s going in one ear and out the other!”, over and over again. However, after about 15 mins. She was not yelling and was far less disruptive. About 2 mins. More she was sitting up smiling chatting about how awful her life was but that she was “all better, now. Thank You very much!” I stayed to be sure but she continued to chat, laughing, lively, got up out of the bed saying, “You need to be on the road. You just don’t know how much I worry about you!” 

I told my father that I would stay until Monday morning before heading back home. He was grateful. My mother remained ‘chipper’ after her outburst saying, “Ya know, my nerves have been so bad lately. I think it’s because of the pain in my back. I have just suffered so all of my life!” 

You’d think that she would get tired of the same CRAZY scene time after time but she never does. 

On Monday I came home!  

Welcome to my life! Thanks again for allowing me to bend your ear, Brenda 

Dear Brenda, 

  

It as been a while since i wrote to you but let me tell you that you have been on my prayers.I am sorry to see that things don't get better with your mother. I guess that the quote you just wrote is the right answer not only for her but for you too. It is true that God puts some people in our lives for a reason. You must find the WHY question so you learn how to deal with her. 

  

I think that when you go in her room she feels the power she has over you and everyone for that matter.She controls all of you and you give her the right to do so.What will happen if you didn't go? Have you ever try ignoring her like we do with children? 

  

She doesn't deserve a wonderful daughter like you and she should acknowledge it and grow up. Has anyone ever confronted her with her selfish personnality? Your father must be an angel to have endure her  for so long. I don`t think it is ever too late to make things right in life no matter the age or the situation. She should apologized to you not the other way around. 

  

I wish you time to reconnect to serenity . 

  

Friendship always Lyne xoxoxox 
 
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michelyne5
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August 21, 2005, 4:59 pm PDT

to Marcia and Tamara,

Quote From: marcia52

In Summer 2003, I was in the midst of one of those "LONG STRETCH LIFE EVENT CYCLE", I was in shocked that I was never going to be put in for a promotion because my boss didn't want to be bothered, I was working with a handicap working and had to stand up and defend her right to work, entered a family death watch, was finally emerging from the grief I entered back in 1999, and I was diagnosed with hyperthryoidism and they wanted to kill my thyroid.  There were more events occuring - but we don't have enough space for me to write it all down!  I was just so stressed out, I just stepped back like you and wrote and wrote.   

  

I too saw that my life wasn't working.  I decided that I would take an early retirement if offered that July.  On Dec. 31, 2004, I retired and I did give myself permission to just get off the roller coaster and take 1 healing step after the next. 

  

I too am taking classes - I finally discovered what it is I've been doing for years -- I am a DOCUMENTATION DESIGNER.  I just learned that last Friday.   

  

What are you going to school for?  I'm thinking about obtaining the Technical Writing Certificate that Cleveland State University is offering.  I just need 5 more classes and I can apply for it. 

  

Marcia 

Taking our lives back is a hard and rewarding. When you make the decision to go for it  nothing can change your mind , go girls go. 

  

Here is my story i am sharing it with you so you have hope . 

Seven years ago after a three years doing nothing after a very hard divorce i decided to take my life in my own hands and do something about it . At the time i had a 14 years old daughter  who needed me but most of all who needed me to be the better i could be. I decided to go back to school and take a 15 months nonstop  accounting degree. My daughter was very proud of me for having the courage to go back to school at the age of 38  and she help me alot to persevere anyway i had to be the example for her to do something with her life too.It was not always easy  buy i can say that it has been the time of my life i was the proudest of myself. 

I graduated found myself a wonderful job , my daughter just graduated 2 months ago and became a nurse my life has change because i decided to do so . Make the commitment to yourself and most of all believe in yourself and you wont be desapointed. 

  

  

Sincerly Lyne 
 
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michelyne5
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August 25, 2005, 5:42 pm PDT

Dear Brenda,

Quote From: blgspc

I'm just checking in with everyone. I'm still working on the exercises in 'Self Matters', Chapter 4 Ten Defining Moments. I am amassing an enormous number of moments and I'm only finishing the adolescent years. I'm still grappling with the 'now', 'feelings'. I just don't seem to have ANY!!! I've been sticking with this for days. I don't really know what to write for my 'now' 'feelings'! I know that no one out there has a magic wand or can tell me what I should be feeling. This just seems so odd with all of the 'Drama' in these moments to not have feelings about them, now. I really do wonder about that.   

   

I'm beginning to believe that the more 'Dramatic' the event the MORE detached I feel. STRANGE!!!!  

   

I'm hanging in there...I'll continue to work on this.  

   

Thanks for letting me bend your ears.  

   

Brenda   

Read your post and the first thing that comes to my mind is the way you protected yourself by being detached.Is it that maybe you don't want to face the music again and go somewhere you were so unhappy.I personaly have no recolection of feelings about my youth except that we were left to ourself and we were supose to be good and quiet .Feelings was something that was not discuss and something that was prooving weekness.  

  

Couples years ago i decided to let by gone be by gone and live only the moments.I know that someday i will have to face the truth about my feelings .Even my 3 sisters don't want to discuss any of our past  i guess it is because our parents are still alive and we feel oblige to bee good and quiet girls still. But i am sure that one day all of ours feelings will come out and that we will all feel relieve and free ......that will be a great day  

  

So be good to yourself let it come if it has to, or else life will put you in position to learn an other way. Take care and enjoy the moment dear Brenda 

  

Sincerly Lyne 
 
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michelyne5
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August 29, 2005, 8:58 am PDT

Hi Teri,

Quote From: teri_id

I have been struggling with an anger issue since Saturday night, and I am not sure where to go with it.   

  

I spent Saturday with my kids, who live 3 hours away.  I drive there in the morning and then after spending the day with them, I drive home.  I get home around 8:30-9:00 p.m.  Well, this last Saturday when I came home, my boyfriend/mate said I smelled as if I had been drinking.  This is the second time he has said that when I have come home.   

  

I suppose this would not bother me so much if I actually HAD been drinking, yet I had not.  The first time I just shrugged it off as strange and didn't give it much thought.  This time, however, it seemed to strike a nerve that really irritated me.   

  

He was not rude, and he was just telling me what he thought he smelled, yet for some reason I am angry.  Maybe because I saw distrust in his eyes.  I don't know.  I know that I have felt myself distancing from him, which is probably the last thing I need to be doing.  I have tried to talk about it, yet I feel like crying when I even try to bring it up.  The thing is, I don't believe I am angry at him, but I am angry, and hurt.  This boggles me, as things such as this don't usually effect me this way.   

  

He has been distancing himself also.  I am trying to just observe our behavior and see how we bring some resolution to this issue, and I know we are both harboring feelings that we are not talking about, yet maybe that is because we don't have to.  I don't know.  I know that look of distrust really hurt me, and I can't imagine his feeling distrust didn't hurt him.  Wow.  Relationships are not my strong suit.   

  

I know I am rambling, yet I need some feedback, even it is to just put things in perspective.  I see this situation as representative or symbolic of deficit in my relationship, and I need to know how to replenish my part.  Being authentic would mean I would just plainly say "I am angry and I don't really know why" to him and working it out.  I guess I don't like the idea of people being upset with me...lol...does that sound familiar to anyone?   

  

Any feedback would be appreciated.  Thanks everyone. 

Teri 

I read your message in disbelieve . Why would your husband acuse you of having drink. I guess is looking for a way to start a argument. Did you think that maybe he is just unhappy not going with you and it is his way  to make you feel bad. And why the distrust in his eyes , there is no reason to suspect someone of drinking if that someone hasn't  been drinking. 

  

You said that he is distancing from you and vice versa maybe it is time for the both of you  to play fair and square and say what is on your mind you will feel alot better  to make everything open . 

You have every reason to feel hurt by him for the way he treats you , there is no reason of accusing someone of a fault not commited. 

  

I wish you clarity with this matter and with your relationship. Take care and try to find serenity. 

  

Friendship Lyne 
 
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