Messages By: beth1942

I was like the lady who didn't want to marry until I met my husband, who is truly special, and married at the age of 28.  When we had children I stayed home until they started school/preschool.  I'm glad I could (for my own sake more than for the children's!  I loved the time with them.), but I know many mothers cannot do this.  When they went to school, I was fortunate to be able to go back to my career.  My husband has always "helped."  I now have two daughters-in-law.  One works outside the home.  The other stays at home, although she is taking some college classes online.  Both are fine mothers, and I'm so fortunate my sons had the good judgment to marry them.  I think it must be harder for the single mother who must work.  My son's job is closer to home, so he starts dinner before his working wife gets home.  I'm proud of the many ways he makes himself a partner.  A single mom has to do this herself.  It requires more effort, but I've seen it done successfully. 

My other son doesn't help as much, mainly because his wife is such a perfectionist that she gets things done before he gets home.  I tell her to begin to train him to help, because if she goes to work when the kids are in school she will want him to pitch in. 

In short, don't get married just to be married.  As a single mom, consider your children before you consider marriage.  If you marry, do what's best for you and your marriage and children.  God knows my heart (I'm a pastor's wife, in fact.) and He knows what I need and what I can do.  I know a number of single mothers who have managed to provide a happy home for their children and to be happy themselves.  Most of them do try to provide a masculine influence, maybe a grandfather or a good man who is willing to be involved, to show the children what to expect from a good man who cares for them.  There is no Biblical law about working or not working (See Proverbs 31). 

I think racism in any form is bad.  Some years ago I worked at a school where some of the teachers  would make racist comments about blacks.  When I'd say, "That's not true about---" and name one of our outstanding black students, they'd say, "Oh, I didn't mean OUR black students."  It's hard to be racist when you personally know someone.

As a retired teacher, I could always love (and hug, even when some politically correct people discouraged  touching ) my students, regardless of race.  I thought they needed to know a good touch.

As the mother of 2 white middle class males, I sometimes think we've reached the point where it is politically correct to put them down, but not anyone from another race or gender.  That's not right either.

I really like Bishop Jakes, a man of wisdom, part of the answer.  But I wish you wouldn't use Al Sharpton as an expert on race.  He is very prejudiced, himself.  I thnk Mr. Sharpton is part of the problem, not part of the answer.

I was personal representative when my childless aunt died leaving 16 heirs.  We all got together at her home one day for division of her personal effects.  We used a silent auction for most of the items and one of my cousins was auctioneer for the larger items.  Everyone got an equal amount of "play money" to use.  If they went above their "free money" they used real money.

I sold some land she owned and cashed in her investments and insurance.  I got a fee for handling the estate.  A cousin who handled her finances the final few years of her life and a nurse cousin who visited and dressed her her daily those final years in a rest home each got a fee.  (Actually I divided the amount the attorney said I should receive for handling the division with them, because I felt they had earned it.)  We divided the remainder equally between all the heirs.

I have a wonderful family!  No one ever complained.

Hey, these ladies look great, but I'd like you to leave them on their own (no free subscriptions, etc.) and do a program about them 2 years later!  Personality and self esteem will out.

I'm 65, a retired school librarian and wife of a retired minister.  People often think I'm younger than I am, although I'm overweight and have very little money to spend on clothes.  (I do go to a toning salon several times a week to stay healthy and, in spite of the weight I'm in very good health.)   I could probably lose weight more easily if I went off the medication I take for seizures I had 10 years ago, but it's not worth the risk.

I live in an area where most of the ladies have much more money and "know how" than I do.  I'd like a complete make over (who wouldn't), but I like myself and I've learned that's more important than obsessing about my body.  I wouldn't trade places with most of my neighbors.  I earned my wrinkles living and laughing.  And even with my sense of humor I'm not sure I could stand a fashion consultation with the young man you had on the show anyway.  I'm sure he's very nice, but I'd like to change his wardrobe.

I have a wonderful husband, 2 great sons, 2 great daughters-in-law, 4 perfect grandchildren and 4 perfect step-grandchildren.  I stay active and I don't feel old. 

The lady whose husband pressured her to swing broke my heart.  Her eyes were so sad.

My husband and I made our vows before God, our families, and friends that we were committed for life.  We haven't changed our minds in 36 years together.  My husband has had some health problems that have made sex difficult at times, but I love him too much to even consider looking for it elsewhere.  He is all I want and all I need.  What ever happened to commitment?