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June 4, 2006, 3:31 pm PDT

MEN???

Quote From: uthe12006

I need a questioned answered.  Hope someone can give me a head's up on this.  I have been single for a while now,  have dated off and on nothing serious for the past few years.  But my question is how do men think on the subject of dating and sex.  Ok I met a man that live's in another state as myself,  and I plan to go see him.  My friend's tell me that the way men think these day's is that if a women is going to drive 200 miles to see me I am going to get sex.  I am 44 yrs old and he is older than myself.  I am just wondering if this is true.  Any help would be great.    

  

Thanks  

I think your friends are doing a bit of stereotyping here. Not all men think the same, just as you and your girlfriends don't. Don't worry so much about it and just go have a good time! If he wants to do something that you aren't ready for then just don't do it. Quit thinkin' so much and just see what happens THEN deal with it. Hope you have a blast, and good luck with the new guy!
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:13 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: wildcat9

I am very confused i have been married for 6 years only to get divorced because my exwife had had an affair for over a year i worked for 60 + hrs a week gave her 100% of my heart and was 100% faithful heck i worshiped her but was not good enuff now i am single be 30 years old june 8th and all alone i dont do the bar scene or the poolhalls either all i want is to find someone who will care about me even 1/2 as much as i do them i am a very mellow type fellow blonde hair blue eyes 165 lbs  very understanding but also very lonely and confused why are single women with morals so hard to find?
Maybe you should "church hop", bet you'd meet a nice girl there! The nice ones are out there, it's just up to you to find them. Good luck!
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:21 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: lostincali

I work  in dispatch and talk to many customers  each day.  About a year ago I found myself intrested in aab gentleman that I had not seen or met but found that when speaking to him l  felt very comfortable and wanting to ask him out.  I did not have the nerve then.  A month ago he came into my place of work and the attraction became stronger.  Nice looking and a genuinely nice man.  Don't get me wrong looks are not everything and some of my co-workers thought he was nothing to write home about.  I found out in a sneaky way but I think obvious if he was married.  When he told me he was not I decided to not wait around and just ask him if he would like to go out sometime for a drink or a coffee.  I offered and gave him my cell number.  I figured this would not make him feel pressured and the ball was then in his court to call me and set a day to meet.  4 weeks have passed and no call (although we do talk on the phone at work....work related).  I have not mentioned going out again because I do not want to push it.  I know how I feel when someone keeps pushing me to go out with them and I don't want to be that person that pesters a person to death.   I am not sure how to explain this feeling but there is something there and I just can't explain it.  It is such a good calm feeling about him that I am unfamilar with and have not felt before.
I am in the middle of reading "Smart Love" and hoping it will help me to get this man interested.  I am not sure that he is not but I am at a loss.  Ok enough babbling.....I would like to go out for a drink with this man and if nothing clicks with us then I am ok with that.  I have a real deep feeling that if nothing more we can be great friends.  We have somethings in common that make me believe that.  I guess I am wondering if I should go out on a limb and ask him out on a date and if he responds yes again set a day and place to meet with him.  Is that being to pushy?  I am not desperate.  Been divorced for 7 years had one relationship for 4 after my marriage and I am happy not lonely.  I love my life but have this interest for this particular man that I can't kick....There is just something about him......
I beleive that there is a reason that he hasn't mentioned your asking him for coffee the first time. But if you feel that strongly about it then go ahead and ask him again! The worst he can do is say no, and you can quit stressing and wondering about it. It might make you feel better to get it out of your system, and who knows? Maybe he will say yes, wouldn't that be special? :)
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:30 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: rockchik28

I am a sixteen year old high school student. My problem is that all my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends. I dont, and it has bothered me for some time now. Now i have to keep in mind that i am not a little person. I am actually quite a medium-large person, so in between. i am not sure what to do, the guys i guess, make fun of me. As a joke, and it hurts. I wanted to know any advice that you men and women might have for me. i am willing to try almost anything at this point....  

Ok, from my own experience (I am 42 now) I was over weight in highschool and had VERY low self-esteem. I wouldn't hardly even make eye contact with certain people. I had such a low image of myself that I set myself up to be "made fun of" and bullied. I have since then done a complete 360 and realize that I did that to myself in high school. There were other over weight people that weren't the prettiest to look at and some of them were very popular! You know why? Because they had confidence and a big fat smile on their face. I would love to go to my High school reunion, and I would probably be voted "most changed". There isn't a person that I can't talk to now. I am very open and I smile almost all the time. I wish I could go back and change my attitude when I was in high school because now I see, I had control of how people treated me all along. You got a long way to go girlie, stuff will get better all the time, so just try to take some pride in yourself and who you are, don't let other people tell you who you are. Hope this helps. Keep smilin'! :)
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:37 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: amanda_dom

Hey there,  

I havent been on a date in going on 4 years. Not because I dont want to but because I am affraid. I know I should get over my fears but it is hard because I think of my child before myself. I wouldnt want him to get hurt at all. My childs father left us (said he wasnt ready to be a father when our child was 5months old). Ever since I havent had the courage to get out there and start dateing again. I spend most if not all of my time and energy (money) on my child. I dont go to bars or clubs or anything like that cuz I dont feel like I am going to meet a future boyfriend/husband there. I have looked at it as "Iam young, I have plenty of time to meet someone". But after work and going to school- at the end of the day I would like to have someone to talk to about my day. I would like to meet someone to share a life with but I jus dont know if it'll happen any time soon...  

   

Amanda   

So who says you have to introduce your child to every guy you meet? Get a baby sitter and just go out and have some fun! If ya really want to meet someone then you sooooo gotta date someone! There are plenty of places to meet someone besides clubs, and don't look at every guy you meet as your "maybe future boyfriend or husband". All that will happen naturally, just get out of your house and off your butt and go have some fun! Do you have any hobbies? If not then get some. Surely there are things that you've wanted to try and just haven't got around to doing. If you know what you want and you keep putting it off, then you will be sorry 5, 10, 15 years from now.
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:42 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: bostonu02

Welcome, to the world single guys live in.  I know it is extremely frustrating getting rejected or ignored, but you will survive.  The main thing is that your taking the key first step many women don't take; BEING AGGRESSIVE.  I promise you that if you keep putting yourself in fun settings and going after guys you are interested in you will get a guy's phone number.  Finally, its key to show a positive attitude so try to focus on activities where you're having fun and looking available.
LOL!! My sentiments exactly! If I see a guy I like I have no problem approaching them and possibly asking them out. If they don't seem interested, then hey, so what, guess they just weren't the guy for me. But in no way does it discourage me. You gotta kiss alot of frogs to find your prince ya know! So get ta kissin'!  (you know I don't mean that literally right?) :)
 
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June 6, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: vinylgirl

I keep having the same thing happen. It has been happening for MONTHS. Almost a year in fact. I can go to bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, restaurants, concerts, movies, parks-- you name it, and I seem to be wearing man repellant. Men will not talk to me. They will walk by, check me out, I'll smile, they will smile back. I will say "Hi". They say "Hi" back... and then they walk away. Never to be seen again. I am not a bad looking woman. I have a nice smile. I have a decent job. Its like I can be extremely cute and friendly and none of that even matters. What is going on?
If ya really want to meet them, then don't let them walk away, don't even give them the choice, just meet 'em!
 
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June 6, 2006, 2:24 pm PDT

What's up with that?

Ive' been married most of my life (3 times to be exact), and now all I want to do is date and have a good time without feeling obligated. My problem is everyone I date seems to start getting possesive. I hate this because it makes me feel bad and I don't want to hurt their feelings. I guess I bring it on myself by spending so much time with them, but I'm just lonely and want someone to do stuff with! Why's it always gotta be a serious relationship? I thought guys liked that crap! Well, not the ones I'm dating! It makes me feel guilty and selfish. I keep telling them not to get too close to me, cuz I ain't ready for that crap! But they go and do it anyway. Wish I had this problem a few years ago! LOL! My problem is, even though I'm not in love with these guys, I've become quite attached and do care about them. I could tell that they were in deeper than I was, so I sat them down and told them exactly where I stand at this time in my life, and they said they understood and still wanted to see me. I figure they are big boys, they can make the decision themselves as to wether or not they still want to see me, as long as I am up-front and honest. It don't seem to be workin' for me! LOL! I can't stand to hurt someone that I care about, but I'm doing it anyway. Any advice? Do you think it's all about the challenge for them or something? Kinda like you want what you can't have or something? I dunno. What's up with that?
 
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June 6, 2006, 2:46 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: blackrrose

I CAN'T SEEM TO GET A BOYFRIEND. I am a very attractive girl, but I seem to be lacking a good personality..or something..I dearly want the ideal personality that every man loves. Do you know what the secret is that can seem to turn any guys head.. how do I increase my charm and confidence? How do I improve my personality so I appear more approachable and loveable? How do I get a guy to like me?? And how on EARTH do I approach men and have them adore my company?? It seems hopeless....PLEASE HELP!
PLEASE!!! DO NOT QUIT TRYING!!!!! You specifically asked, "how do I increase my charm and confidence", so apparently, you yourself realize that you need more confidence. Sure you will probably end up with someone "even if you are shy", but you will end up with someone much suited for you if you worked on your confidence. That way you wouldn't settle for the first guy that paid you some attention. If you have confidence, then you don't worry about all those things you just stated (or asked). Make yourself #1!!!!!!!!! And if those guys don't like it, then they aren't the ones for you!
 
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June 6, 2006, 2:57 pm PDT

Oklahoma

Quote From: slhadding

I am currently seeing other families or single parents in the oklahoma city area who's children are in dhs custody... this is really hard for me.... and everything seems to be slipping away..... if you care to chat or start a support group.... let me know.... I know I need it... and im sure you do too 

I'm not a mother, nor do I have any family in the area. But I love people, and I love to help people. So if there is anything I can do, let me know! :)
 
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