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I have been dating my partner since the beginning of June.  We both agree that things went very fast.  He is 2 years younger (30).  He has a LOT of friends. His social life is exhausting for me.  I had made it clear that I felt very uncomfortable with guys' night out and that I would prefer not to be excluded.  As far as I am concerned, my partner is welcome anywhere I go with whomever.  He recently made plans to visit a female friend at her place.  I was VERY upset when she called him to confirm the plan I did not know about. I have never met her.  I did not know they had made plans to meet up at her place just the 2 of them.  They have known each other for many years I believe. 

I still feel very strongly about this although I know that there is nothing between them (I cannot talk for her).  He is only trying to be a supportive friend as she is anorexic. 

Despite all explanations, I feel very upset and strongly about it. 

  

I do not know how to find a solution and I feel guilty to deprive him from his previous lifestyle of bachelor. 

Has anyone been in a similar situation ? 

How can I put it to him in a way that is not going to make him feel strangled since the relationshhip is so young yet so close ? 

Thank you for sharing your experience. 

No it is not normal.  It may be frequent but it is not normal.  You might want to try to get him to look at it this way:  what if one of these girls were his daughter or sister (unfortunately) ?  what would he think ?  would it be OK for his daughter or sister to be the object of such material ?  

He has no moral boundaries for himself as a man.  He seems to have limited self control. If this is what you want as a father for your children then this is ok.  As far as I am concerned it is a simple straightforward deal breaker.  My partner is not interested in this at all.  He has other interests that keep him busy.  This has nothing to do with you. 

You need to maintain your personal integrity and require your partner to support, respect and protect your integrity.  Then move on for your own sanity and self respect. 

Hope this helps.  All the best and chin up ! 

did you have the correct number ?  Is he in hospital ?  did he get scared ? perhaps .... 

  

Next ! chin up ! 

thank you for sharing your experience.  I think what bothers me is that my needs are not being met so I try to control what he does .  I feel he turns to others and will go out of his way to help distressed people. So if I am well he will not attend to our relationship whereas a relationship requires nurturing every day.   I have told him that I felt I got his attention when I was not well and I did not want this.  I have tried to bluntly speak my needs by saying : "I need this from you" ,  or  "I need you to ..."  but when it works, I have to put the dots so close together it almost becomes a line !   When it does not work he gets defensive.  There are other issues like :  MONEY he will spend thousands of $$ on his home renovations and on a brand new watch but he refuses to take us out for dinner or he wants us to share all expenses even though he makes more than twice as much as I do !!!!   (I do not stay at his house ever; he stays over at my place a couple of times a week.  His place is a slump and has been for the past 3 years.  He is happy to live this way until the house is finished.)   I feel although he can be generous and thoughtful he can also be extremely selfish.