Messages By: puptent

ask away.... 

I hope I have answers for you!   

My MIL has CFS and FM.  I thank goodness DO NOT have FM.   

Marie 

and on there they are doing an IE challenge this month.  I joined in and on my bad days (like yesterday for example) I pushed myself and went for a walk with my two kids.  IT was tough but I have been doing it.  One day I went to my SIL's house and she has a pool and I swimming, even though it is exercise, to be relaxing.  On my good days, I pop in one of my kids song tapes and we dance and sing and have fun making fools of ourselves!  

I have been lucky that on my bad days so far this month I have been able to push it but I know that there will be a bad day where I won't want to get out of bed and then I will drag myself to the couch and let the kids play in the livingroom so I can rest or if hubby or older kids are home then I stay in bed... 

Marie 

Karen -- 

I do that too.  Not necessarily Mondays -- but the day after I have done something strenuous or even just something that took me out of the house all day.  For eaxample, when I have a CFS doctor appointment -- it is in NYC so to take the two kids and go to the city just for a 20 minute appointment becomes an all day venture; so I don't do ANYTHING the next day. 

There may be someone chuckling out there and I hope that they never come down with CFS because it knocks you right off your feet.  I was always very active -- I was working three jobs when I became ill and tried to fight it.  I passed out at work pushing myself.  I had to slow down.  Now I push myself but only because I know my limitations and   what it will cost me the next day etc.  As for shower being exhausting -- just climbing the stairs to go to bed some nights was overwhemling!  So I know what you mean!   

But yes, I have noticed that exercising and dieting and having a wonderful husband rather the stress of my ex whom I was married to when I became ill have ALL helped me.  I still am not cured but some days I forget I am sick (even my kids forget soemtimes!) 

Marie 

P.S.  You said that you had questions for me? 

Can you tell that I have kids? (two step 13 & 16 and two 2 & 4) ;-) 

Seriously, we used to take a mini vacation for our anniversary and then the step kids came to live with us (I am NOT complaining) and then our son was born and then our daughter was born.....We do take day trips to the shore and such (and of course to see Thomas the Tank Engien for our son!) 

But whenm we do day trips I pay for it the next day so I just don't plan anything the day after so maybe a vacation would be too much.  I know it is supposed to be relaxing but usually you are so busy you don't get time to relax unless it is just the hubby and you.... 

Well have a great vacation. 

I have a question for you girls -- do you have trouble with chocolate cravings at that time of the month and if so what do you do about it?  That is my big weakness! 

Marie 

but hope you have a great trip.  HOw long are you staying?  The last tiem we went away was only overnight cause we had a wedding to go to so my Step daughter watched our two year old daughter and four year old son in the motel and we joined them after the wedding.  Next day we went to the shore for the day cause the wedding was down the shore.  BUt it was nice to go away and do something different.... 

Also, we have two dogs AND two cats so my mother in law stayed at our house to feed and care for them.  I don't like kennels either -- our dogs were upset enough that we left and they were in their own environment -- could you imgine if they went to a kennel? ;-) 

Marie 

interesting so I have to have chocolate ot have sex?  hmmmm...both are soo good... hehehe 

I guess I will have to break the news to hubby as with sex there are extra benefits besides the obvious...it is exercise too and burns calories whereas chocolate gives you calories....Oh honey...... 

Seriously, I had gotten some chocolate bars when I was on Adkins which are Maltitol (You have to be careful not to have too much cause it can act as a laxative...) so I plan to try them this month <have only been back on UWC for three weeks now so soon will need something...>  I don't like the fat free or sugar free candies...just don't taste the same.  I would rather not have it then eat something that doesn't taste good (I feel the same about soda and mayonaisse as I have not found any that don't have an aftertaste...) 

Marie 

I have a two year old and a four year old (he gets up with daddy for work most mornings).  I am just starting to get on a schedule with sleep and have decided that though I can stuff done while they sleep that then the next day I am no fun to them cause I'm tired so now I sleep when they sleep (last night I was in bed at 8:30 and got up at 6 to wake hubby for work.  I went to go back to sleep but it was too late our son was up and ready to face the day so I am hoping that both kids take a nap as the older ones are at their mom's this week so no break til hubby comes home.  If they don't nap I think I will be sleeping early tonight too.) 

I nap when I can which isn't often as my son gave up naps (except on rare occasions) when he was 2 1/2 years old.  What I do on bad days or if I am just tired, I lounge around on the couch while they play on the floor in the livingroom or they sit in their chairs and watch tv.....if it is nice out I have a hard time doing this cause they wanna go for a walk or at least go in the yard... 

No I don't have an out of the house job -- just in the house -- taking care of the kids and the house! ;-)  I have tried to work and on good days it works fine but bad days forget it!  I have to find a job in which you can either work from home (so no one sees me on bad days and so I work as I feel good through the day) or a job where you can make your own hours.  I haven't found either or them yet so I spend my good hours with my family enjoying them! ;-) 

I have only lost 4 pounds this time but I will say that eating healthier makes me feel better.  Don't know if that is all attitude or not though! ;-) 

I plan alot.  What I mean is if I know a busy day is coming I don't do anything the day before (so I am not tired that day) and don't do anything the day after (cause I am shot!)  Two days in a row is pushing it...I know my limitations now though so I try and work with them. 

Marie 

I'm not near a center either (NJ) but I did read interesting stuff like hormore imbalance theory which seems to have some credence for me as my sysptoms are worse at that tiem of the month and I never felt as good as when I was pregnant!  <I know sounds crazy but it was true!> 

I also requested information int he mail so we'll see what I get. 

My doctor is in NYC and the only thing bad about seeing her is that it is  an all day venture and I pay for it the next day but she is worth it as doctors in NJ are ignorant (in my experience) to CFS... 

Marie 

I can not relate to this stepmom at all though...from day one I didn't LET my stepkids call me mom cause they have a mom and she is not only alive but she IS in their lives (more than than now but that is another story!) And we(hubby and I) have always tried to work with her in raising their kids.  Also I do what my hubby wants for his kids even if don't agree (I used to check with her too but that doesn't work cause she doesn't like me so I don't want to upset her...) 

I personally think that if your hubby wants to be her father and is in every step of the way from what you said...then let him.  YOu are right in that your ex is an adult and if he wants time with his daughter he needs to step up to the plate not his wife....  Your daughter and you are lucky to have found such an understanding and accepting man (your hubby) and I think you should encourage their growing relationship.  If her biodad isn't a part of her life and her stepdad is and he wants to adopt her I see nothing wrong with it.  If biodad was a part of her life then she has two dads to love her and be important in her life (as well as two moms but the stepmom has to work at a relationship not just demand it!).  Oh well, off my soapbox.  It's just my opinion...maybe other bio mom's won't agree. 

Marie 

and be responsible like her son.  I don't begrudge anyone of dating -- no matter what the age.  That is each individual's choice but I think she is being to free with herself.  Not only isn't that safe in this day and age but also she should have higher self esteem that to have sex with so many boys err I mean men. (just kidding about the age reference. 

Secondly, Kim needs to stop being so selfish and rude to her husband.  She told him he doesn't turn her on...isn't the child that was shown theirs so they must have had sex.... I personally think she isn't satisfied with herself and is looking elsewhere to find that satisfaction.  I also think it is a shame that her husband doesn't just say no but rather is doing something he doesn't feel comfortable doing.   

Thirdly, the retired couple was so cute together!  He needs to do things he used to before the kids (I.e ran bathes for her etc.) and she needs to feel better about herself and her body.  As Dr. Phil said "they need to find out who other is all over again."  I think he is 100% right.  You start your relationship as the two of you and if you have kids the relationship shifts to become parents and sometimes you lose site of the relationship between the two of you.  That is why at least once a month, my hubby and I have date night -- we go out and leave our two and four year olds with his daughter who is 16 years old.  We find that sometimes we wend up talking about the kids but it helps us to focus on us and where this family unit came from.  It helps us to remember what it is about each other that we love and why we choose not only to spend our lives together but also why we choose to have a family together.