Message Boards

Messages By:

January 14, 2007, 5:25 am CST

My suggestion

Quote From: kimberlyd4105

hi, well im an older mom but i have teenagers and young kids, id like to ask the experts how do i retrain my daughter to use the bathroom instead of her underwear. she even sees a therapist for this. she was trained at 2.5 but now refuses to use the bathroom for a bowel movement and would rather just walk around in it, nothing has worked. i know that some kids regress when a sibling comes along but he will be 2 in march so i dont think thats the problem anymore. im at my wits end with this. she soiled 3 new pair of underwear today, we have put her in pull ups but they are to expensive. we have done what the therapist suggested and not a darn thing is working. so if any experts have any ideas let me know.. ive done the charts, rewards etc.... thanks .............kim
My suggestion is to have her wear nothing on her bottom half for a while. If that keeps you in the house for a few weeks so be it. I mean having her poop in her pants does too. So what i would do is have her wear a long shirt maybe one of yours or a big one of hers. That way she can' poop in her pants with out you knowing. I would kind of go back to the begaining. Start asking her every hour or so if she has to go. The only time i would have her in underware or pull ups is during naps or what not (if she normally has accadants, So they call them) Oh you never did say how old she is from your numbers i would have to say she's about 4. It that is correct or there abouts than it's not uncommon for children to revert for no reason at all. They can revert from stress of any kind (starting kindergarden, new additions, change in daily schedual, recent vacations, just about anything) Becasue most any event that they don't do every day is a stressful event for kids) good luck
 
April 1, 2007, 7:24 am CDT

My husband is the same way.

My husband is the same way. He will just be setting there doing whatever and just flipped is lid. I never feel physically in danger he has never hit me, never threatened to hit me but it's annoying. I mean just a few days ago we were headed out to lunch just me, him and my daughter. We were all talking nice about things i had seen we should do in the future as an outing. He was really happy. When he went into the bedroom and couldn't find a shirt he wanted to wear. he had either worn them to work and dirtyed them beyond repair or they were wrinkly. He yanked the drawer out and threw it on the floor, got the iron and started ironing and than yanked the cord out the wall and broke the iron. Walked around the house yelling and crusing. Than After a few min. yanked up a shirt and just said 'Ok lets go' and it was over as quick as it started....

But at that point he had scared our daughter and had me kind of shaken up. But all he has to say about it was he was mad about not having a shirt. But what these kind of people don't realize is Normal people don't just get over it like that... We can't just go on our day with out thinking about that epasode. Why couldn't he just say 'Oh i can't find a shirt i want to wear why don't i iron one..' No he's go to show his A** all over the house.

 
April 9, 2007, 7:40 am CDT

bedtime

I think bedtime should be set in stone. I have a daughter and as she gets older the rules tend to change a little but they are basicly the same. She currently 4 1/2 yrs old. First off you put your children in bed, if you give them the power to put them selves IN bed they can take them selves OUT of bed. So don't tell them "Go lay down" Take them there.. Next the bed time starts at 6:30pm. Starting with a bath that lasts until 7pm. This includes Bath, washing hair and body, and dressing, brushing teeth, brushing hair. Everthing...

Next at 7pm we go to the room. She's dressed for bed all ready and tech. could go to sleep right now. BUT we have story time and sip of water and pee time. I have to go pee while i get her TWO Books. (We go between who picks books but final call is me) I don't want her to choose two very long books. It's tech. two stories not books. Because some books have more than one story. She has a sip of water and picks two stuffed animals or dolls for the bed. I don't let it draw out. These are the rules. (Two books and two things to sleep with) after you choose they are set in stone you can't change your mind.) i kiss and hug and if you refuse either i WILL NOT come back in to give it. I tell her that if she refuses it. Than lights go out and i leave for good. If i have to come back in to lay down or what not i don't talk to her i just do it and leave. I don't give her any reason for wanting me there (if you know what i mean) I don't give more water and no more dolls or changing mind about what is there. The only exception is bathroom time i will let her go to the bathroom again but she has to be productive or she's in trouble i will take her off and put her clothes back on for her and it's not a fun time for her. (She doesn't do this anymore...lol) I make things unplesant for her. She doesn't push the issue. She has no night lite, never has never will. I believe you teach your childen to be afraid of the dark. they are in the dark 9mo. if anything they should be afraid of the light. When they get up and stay they are afraid of the dark and you say "oh than i will turn on a light" you are telling them "Oh your right there is something to be afraid of" They get there cues from you. When a child is afraid of a dog or cat or what not what do you do... "oh theres nothing to be afraid of" Why should the dark be any different. They learn from you. Good luck to everyone..

 
April 9, 2007, 7:59 am CDT

I agree is some ways.

Quote From: shetypes

His not controlling his own emotions is relieved by controlling the emotional

air of the home?  He should not be allowed to have that control over the atmosphere of the home?  It does happen that it escalates into much more one day, you need to get

a better emotional handle on this before it gets worse, it almost always does in that kind of emotional problems and yes it is a problem.

What he did was hold back UNTIL he had the opportunity to take control over all of the homes

atmosphere to control to have power over you? That is wrong!

We have been working on this. When we first met he was smoking pot and drinking. When we goto gether i didn't realize the drinking was as bad as it was but i told him to stop smokeing pot and he did with no question. Than i realized his drinking was bad too he wasn't a casual drinker he drank. When i brought it up he said he didn't realize it was a prob. and has been cutting down and down until yesterday told me he didn't want to drink at all anymore. He was so happy in our relationship he didn't want this to be the reason we broke up. He was raised in an abusive family. His father beat his mother all the time. He told me he would never hit me. He has NEVER raised his hand in Anger. He has never throw things at me and never acted like he was going to him me or our daughter. He has gotten better step by step that is why we are still together. He used to get mad like this once every few days and than it changed to once a week and than once a month. Now it's only once every few months. This last one was the first time he had lost his temper since  i don't know when. My daughter being 4yrs old had never seen it that she remembered.  He did gather himself and we did finish our day like nothing. He did take our daughter aside later in the day an appoligize to her. He also told me later that evening after she went to bed that he was asshamed of himself and that he did want to make sure i told our daughter that was not normal and there was no excuse for it. He didn't want her to think it was normal and a good thing for her to experance. He said he was very sorry for doing it would do better in the future... I'm very happy about how he responds to these outbursts. He's getting better and better everyday.

I do know his growing up was horable and i know that is no excuse but you know i can tell when he's hearing me because he is willing to set down and talk about it face to face. If i feel that there maybe a situation because of something i have to say to him i just send him an email before he goes to work so he has all day to think about what i have to say to him and by the time he's home again he has gone through what he thinks about what i've said and will set right down and talk about it with me.

Things are going VERY well here...

thank you for all of your support.

 

First Page | Previous Page | 1 | Next Page | Last Page
Return to Message Board