Messages By: jevon34

Just posting that we are still waiting. With the opening of my cervix and clomid we still are waiting. Oh well, sometimes you just have to be happy with what you have and we have two healthy boys. The Dr. kept saying I was most likely pregnant, I started to believe it. Well, that is all for now-Lora

How long are you stationed in Turkey? Hopefully it will be long enough to concieve-good luck and thank you for serving our country-Lora

You said: 

  

"How's the clomid working for you? Are you having ultrasounds to check follicle growth? Go girl! And score one for the rest of us!" 

  

Well, here it is Dec. and the clomid is not doing anything. I live 6 hours from the fertility clinic so I can't do the ultrasounds. I wish I had something better to report, but I just don't. 

  

Lora 

Wow-sounds like you are doing everything possible. I will certainly keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. As for my medical treatment, I am just on clomid with ovulation kits. The clinic stated the next step would be the ultrasounds and I am afraid that is where my husband and I have to call it quits. I have one more cycle of clomid and we are done. We don't want to go through IVF or anything else. If we are unable to concieve, then we will just have to decide about adoption. My sister-in-law got pregnant immediately following her Hsg so I will be praying for the same for you.  

  

Lora 

First off, I know exactly how you feel after your HSG. You are very fortunate that it didn't hurt for you. Mine was near unbearable. I nearly shot off the table.  I have had uterine biopsies that hurt less than that darn Hsg. They said it was only bad cause they had to push through a block in my cervix. I really had hoped that that was the problem but that was done about 6 months ago. My sil had one and concieved the very next month. We just celebrated his 1st birthday. I am praying for the same results for you. 

  

You said "Are you taking an HCG trigger shot? That's something you can be taught to do at home." This would be very easy for me since I have Immetrex shots I have to do on myself anyway. Military Dr. never suggested it. Do you have to go through a Dr. for this? 

  

Lora 

And my wonderful Christmas gift is the same as for Thankgiving...my period. I only have one cycle left of clomid and then we are done. It is hard enough living with my husband's family and having all our belongings in storage for the past 6 months, living basically in seclusion, and near complete misery. Now I get the joy of knowing, yet again, there will be no more blessings and happiness from more children in our home. My pain is indescribable. I am thankful that this holiday is not about me, I will do everything in my power to focus on Christ my Savior while celebrating with a non-Christ centered family. I am lighting my makeshift Advent candles in my room, hopefully with the reflection of Hope, Love, Peace, Joy, and Christ I will make it through this cycle. I will pray for those of you in a similar situation.  

  

Lora 

 people out there that use this site. How sad, I think we could use support from more people who have gone through or are going through this. Loss of fertility is much like the loss of a child-truamatic. I know that the few of us on this board are not the only people going through this. I wonder if some are ashamed or blame themselves? I think we could help them if they were to open up. Anyway, these are just some thoughts I have had since the boards changed. I am sad that so few come here.

Lora

 I am so happy for you. If both parents are willing and ready to adopt, then I am sure the child will be blessed. It is good to have options. I have been ready to adopt for about a year, but hubby wasn't interested until this Christmas when two other infertile families discussed thier upcoming adoptions with him. Now he has said if we don't get pregnant within the next 6 months, we will start the adoption process. I am concerned however that with us being a home schooling family and my husband being 100 percent disabled that we may not qualify. Time will tell.

If we do adopt, we will go international. International adoptions are less time and less chance of the birth parents changing thier mind. I originally wanted the birth parents to have an active roll in the adopted child's life, but after all the stories about them doing it only to get free medical, i can't take that chance. I feel we have suffered enough and losing a child would be horrible.

I hope all goes well with you guys and grats on a positive focus!

Lora

 I hate to say this but the issue of children really should be addressed prior to the wedding. If your husband isn't ready to have children, it wouldn't be very promising for you to become pregnant. Your relationship could suffer greatly.

I empathize with you about knowing people who get pregnant and have newborns. I remember nearly 3 years ago when I went to a conference with 8 other fertile women. Within 3 months from this conference every single one of them either had a baby or became pregnant, but not me. That was extremely hard to deal with. One of the ladies that became pregnant has fought with infertility all her life so I was happy for her, but it was still hard. These feelings won't go away until you change your perspective. It is hard to truely be happy for others at times, but once you are able to do that it will help ease the pain you feel.

I guess, my advice is to work on your husband by exposing him to children and talking with him honestly about where you want to be in 5 years(with children or not). I hope you figure it out and don't continue to be miserable.

Lora

 It is strange how when you are at your ovulation time, this intense hope arrises. For some reason(maybe because this is my last cycle with clomid) this time it is so much greater. Hope is such a wonderful thing-it makes you happy. I have not been happy in quite a while, but with the new year, new possibilities, and an ovulation I have regained some of the spark once again. Hope you can each find some spark of hope also-Lora