Messages By: marsplasti

I'm in a seriously bad position looking for work. I can't understand it and neither can my dad, who is a prominent businessman (and runs several departments in a multi-billion dollar company). 

I graduated 2 years ago with a degree in Psychology.

All the jobs here in Ontario, well actually, most in Canada, rarely hire anyone with a Psych degree unless its a masters or a phd.  My grades were good but you need top marks to get into grad school.  Even so, I was halfway through my 4th year when i realized how much i DIDN'T want to be a psychologist (thanks to a troubled room mate of mine).

So I've been looking and looking for work.

Even most lower paying jobs such as retail won't hire me because I'm "too qualified". I can't lie and keep my BA off my resume because I have heard of someone around here getting sued for that (probably a way for the company to make some money).  So I don't want to risk it.

I did get a job last year and moved from the big Metro to my home town for that. To save money I moved in with my parents.

Then, not even three months into that job, the business went out of business.

I could have screamed.

It was around Christmas time too and because of that no one was hiring in our city for a full month and a half.

And here I am, still looking.  I've done things every now and then but it doesn't seem to help.  Volunteering occasionally, dog and house sitting to make some cash, and I've started a few personal projects such as trying to enter an art exhibit.

Last week i had an interview for a job and it sounded really promising, like i might get it. Then i go back today for a second interview and find out that EVERYONE got a second interview.  Not only that, I was misled and the job wasn't what they said it would be.  Well, I didn't get it because they wanted all the high school graduates instead. 

All i could think was I'm too old? I couldn't believe it.  But as it turns out taht job was 100% commission, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.  So i'm kind of glad i didn't get it...but still i would like a job.

THis city has tons of job openings in areas i have no hope of getting. Construction or IT.  There's so many people looking for work here that it's ridiculous.  It makes me wonder how many people are really unemployed because the statistics seem low.

I have my resume in many different personnel agencies but no one's interested. They told me an interesting fact though. That for every 1 part time/temporary job, there's several hundred people competing for it. 

I've enrolled in a night class at the college to work more on my computer skills (which are already good) and I'm trying to volunteer more.  If that doesn't work I don't know what will.

All I know is that I thank god I don't live in Nova Scotia. According to my friend who used to live there, people with Masters degrees are the majority of the staff at McDonald's.

How, with 4 years of 'higher' education can so many people be out of work? And who are the people getting work?

AAAhhh!

Any suggestions?

I have tried to get jobs at places like McDonald's but they have so many people wanting to work...well, everywhere that they hire the students IN university, the ones that will be there year round. Employers aren't dumb, they know who will be with them for the long run and who, like me, wouldn't (if it's a job like McDonald's anyways).

My dad can't help. THere's a company policy about hiring relatives. Even so, his company isn't hiring anyone...plus I did work there one summer a few years ago. In order to get a student job like i had, i had to apply. There were well over 2000 people applying. They look at your university education, the longer you're in the better your chances.  For the first three years i applied I didn't get it but the summer before my final year I got the job. While I worked there I found out the lady who makes mostly spreadsheets and other administrative work (but at the higher level) had a BioChemistry degree.  Since I'm not a student, the hiring process would be much harder. But still, they're not hiring right now.

Sometimes I just don't get it...

I have another friend who has a Psych degree from the same school as me, who graduated a year ago and she has to work 1 part time job (her boyfriend got for her) and babysitting.

As for the job with training, that's exactly what I'm trying to do but it's not like I'm the only one applying for those jobs.  The day I graduated there were 1000 other students graduated at my school. But graduation spread out over 11 days, with approximately the same number of students.  So that's 11,000 people from my school alone, (about 1000 people with psych degrees).  So just imagine, there's about 20 universities and colleges in Ontario...so just think how many people that is.

The job i had an interview for last week was advertised "no experience, training provided" and it turned out to be a way just to reel in the young high school students. You always have to be careful with those because I've had lots of experience being interviewed for that. Lots of times they end up being jobs where you have to shell out a couple hundred dollars in order to become a salesperson who works on commission. A friend of mine actually got scammed this way.  She had to pay for the supplies then couldn't make the money back.  Another friend worked for an insurance company and had to drive around the province (state) to 'sell' to people.  She made money...sort of. The company didn't pay for hotel, gas, or food and after expenses she made about $20 a week (I'm not exaggerating either).

I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining but the basic fact is this: If I'm "overqualified" for the jobs at McDonald's and retail, but I'm "Underqualified" For pretty much everything else, what's left? 

It's so confusing and I have no idea what employers want.

I have a friend who just moved back here after working a year abroad as a teacher and they gave up looking for a decent paid salary and work at Walmart.

I have applied to pretty much everything, including jobs I'm not qualified for and jobs i don't want. You can't be a teacher up here without a specific degree, and TA's are not in demand (too many people are trying to do this).  Actually that's one of the biggest problems.  specific degrees. 

Here, it's difficult to become a librarian (even at a school) unless you have a Library Science Degree, and it's similar in other fields.

The one thing I know that's in high demand is Nursing, but why should I spend another four years in school (which is now required to be a nurse) to do a job that I would hate (i know, my mom's a nurse) and a job that barely pays anything?  So until I get lucky or FINALLY land a job I don't know what else to do except make a million phone calls, send out a million resumes and try to pick up some extra cash from dog sitting.

It's pathetic that I went through 4 years of school for this.   

I went back yesterday to read some of your post and we have some things in common.  My brother in law also tried to rape me when I was 15 and I fought him off during the fight he blacked my eye and told me I should just accept it was it was going to happen eventually.  I told my dad and I also told my sister (his wife) she did not believe me and tried to tell my dad my boyfriend gave me the black eye and that was my way of covering it up.  My dad did believe me.  I have 2 brothers and 5 sisters and 1 brother that died at birth.  My mother was sick for as long as I can remember and my dad and older siblings was who raised the younger children, I am the seconded youngest I also have a younger brother.   I am on my second marriage and I can guarantee you there won't be a third. 

Just wanted to tell you the similarities.  I hope I didn't bore you.

I have never heard that.  Everywhere I look for info tells me I have to have an attorney and have to go to court!  It's actually too late today but I will most definitely look into that tomorrow!! I know I have a little time as far as hubby filing divorce - no way he could get, keep up with or hand over the money it would cost.  However, I'm not banking on that because he could always find a friend to help. I just know I'm ok for now in that respect.

Thank you for the info. This would at least settle things down now so I could concentrate on the divorce proceedings.

Sorry I missed you here yesterday.  I do know what you are saying the waiting.  With my father he passed in his sleep and when no one was able to get a hold of him my little brother broke into his house and found him, the doctor said he passed in his sleep.  My mothers was alot more painful and it makes me cry to this day.  You are always in my thoughts, know that I care with all my heart.

Lori

That's great:

"The day you realize you have choices will be the day of your freedom....."

I am a collector of wise words, and now I have a new quote for my little book. Thanks!

And Marsi, keep up the good work.....you are getting there now, aren't you?

I love getting up on that soapbox too....(you might have already guessed from all of my "articles" on here, lately....)....great feeling, isn't it...?...the free and authenic part, I mean....

E

I am looking foward to hearing your definition as well-   You have a good day-Hope all will be well for you-   (  Duh!  I know what abuse is-  I have been abused all my life- )  Looking foward to reading more of you-  SMILE

N

I understand.

please disregard my last post.

I apologize. 

I hope everyone here finds peace.

Hi Rosi....

Nope. You are not over reacting.

In fact, your assesment seems pretty astute.

Take it from a non-monogamist. There is no such thing as "innocent flirtation".  The act of "cheating" occurs well before intercourse. It begins the moment that someone starts to act in a different way when their spouse is not there than when they *are* there. In fact, many people will only be as faithful as their options. He seems to be feeling out what his options are.

There is a distinct possibility that your husband might be having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that life is not a Disney movie. This happens all the time to both sexes. Having someone interested in you is exciting...and NATURAL. 11 years is a long time to be faithful and monogamous though, so there is obviously a strong bond that the two of you have, and it is worth fighting for.

The BEST way to fight for this is to NOT fight with each other. The tough part for you will be this: Most married people do things like your husband is doing because they don't feel that they can be honest about their feelings with their spouse. They fear a terrible reaction, and a backlash, and they make everything worse by "sneaking" and being deceitful. Without HONESTY their is no real communication. You have to allow him a forum to be honest with you about what he is feeling WITHOUT him fearing your reaction. It may not be what you want to hear, but you have to establish honest communication. Otherwise you are just BSing each other, and this could turn into something ugly.

Neither of you should try to make the other apologize for your feelings.  Every day that two people are together is a gift they give to each other, and like any other gift, is has to be given freely. You can't demand it. Obligation is a reason to join the army, not to stay in a marriage.  There is obviously something there in your relationship...with honesty that gift might still be possible.

I have a feeling from your post that you have a great shot.  (You need to break up your paragraphs though, kiddo)...My apologies for any misspellings and if I am not communicating well...It's really early on Sat morning and I have not had nearly enough coffee....I'll say this again, this forum needs a damn spell check.