Messages By: cinemaven

What they did to Shannon was beyond belief. I think there are a number of terms that could be ascribed to them that would easily warrant both of them being dropped off at a behavior modification facility such as the one they abandoned Shannon in but of course they will never be held to account for their abhorrent actions.  

   

My prayer for Shannon is that her sister will open her eyes to the situation and have a loving relationship. I also hope Shannon gets the family she deserves in the future.   

   

This show will hold a mirror to the father and step mother and hopefully, they will finally see themselves as they are.   

   

My son, a sweet and considerate 13 year old watched this show with me and looked at me in disgust once it became clear how mistreated Shannon was and he said, "we should adopt her". If only life were that simple.   

   

Shannon, you are so worthy of love. Please don't give up on your relationship with your sister, she's not responsible for how she's been indoctrinated. Don't let your "parents" words cut you, they have more of a narcissistic disorder than you ever will have.  

Shannon shows none of the hallmarks of NPD.  

I too was looking forward to a show about this subject but was heartbroken when it turned out to be about a severely emotionally battered child who was being used as a scapegoat and being diagnosed by a step parent who hates her. What a sad situation having absolutely nothing to do with NPD.  

I've waited almost a week to comment on this show because watching it really shattered me. That poor little girl has been in my thoughts for days and my heart just goes out to her. I knew that if I had posted on Monday after the show, it would just have been a hateful rant against the stepmother but sadly, I don't feel much different now. 

  

I really hope Dr. Phil gives a quick update to Ambreah's story because I'll be worried until I know she's OK. The fact that her father left her "with friends" tells me there may not be many family members willing or able to take her but throughout the show I hoped her mom's family was watching and would swoop in to rescue her because it's hard to believe that her father is capable of raising her properly.  

  

It's a shame that after shows like this one, the little angels we care about with such fierceness can't feel our love and concern.  

I'm going to post this without reading the posts (unusual for me) because I can well imagine what they say.  

   

My experience and expertise in this matter is that I come from an area where there is a very large Mennonite population and I was a school board trustee for 6 years in this area. Our board has two schools set up primarily for Mennonites and most of the Mennonites in our region are educated through grade 8. It took me a long time to come to terms with this since it's so against my own beliefs but.....  

Mennonite children are "schooled" in a great number of things past the time they leave school. The people in my area are very astute business people, amazing farm families, kind and helpful in our entire community. The Mennonite kids in our schools are as happy / bratty / funny / sports minded / sad / depressed / NORMAL as the non-Mennonite kids are.   

   

Our Old order Mennonites are the ones who leave school in grade 8 and who choose to live a plain life. There are many Mennonites who are living just as everyone else is. The Mennonites on Dr. Phil are old order.  

   

Understanding this religion means understanding how they choose to live "plain" and also how their religion impacts every aspect of their lives. It also means understanding that it is a choice. I know many people who chose not to follow the religion but I know many more who are happy in its stricture.   

   

In my experience, it's a faith that just wouldn't work for me as it seems to have a bias against women but I've had long and interesting arguments with Mennonite women who disagree. I know strong, happy women who are comfortable with both their faith and their way of life and I know some very unhappy women who left the faith because it just didn't work for them.  

   

Calling this a cult does a real disservice to the long and deep foundations this religion has had in both Canada and the United States. Mennonites have been an integral part of my own community since 1837. This is a very legitimate faith and it's one which benefits any community lucky to have a strong Mennonite culture. Our Mennonite organizations are involved in aid to both the community and international relief.  

   

Seeing the girls dressed as they are is very ordinary to me, they look just like the kids who drive their buggies around my neighborhood so I was able to watch without that coloring my view. I have to say, they are as articulate, bright and aware of their own feelings as anyone I've seen at that age. Their father seems to be a caring person who chose to do things the wrong way.   

   

Mennonites don't brainwash their kids and the children I know of this faith are welcome to speak their mind, they just tend to do it a little more politely than our children do. They also speak English a bit more carefully because many learn an old German language at home. Many of the children who start with our school board (often not until grade 1) speak little English. I'm hoping that viewers of this show are able to look past the religious trappings of the Mennonite faith and just listen to the girls.   

Penny floored me when she said she keeps liquor bottles under the bed because placing them in her garbage would make the bag too heavy. I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't point out to her that most of us don't have a wine bottle in our garbage on a weekly basis and those who do, don't have so many that they make the weight of the garbage unmanageable. My heart goes out to Jason... I hope he has the strength and will to grow into the man he should be. He certainly came across as an intelligent, well spoken person. I'm sure that if he finds a program that allows him to catch up on his education, he'd be able to handle it. Sadly, I think he'll have to raise himself with some help from his aunt and grandmother.

 

Kim's story ... my youngest son was sick of me hugging him yesterday and my oldest was sick of my phone calls. I think I had to reach out to my boys because I was so sad over her children's situation.

When I found out I was expecting a second child, my husband and I actually talked about how we could/would ever love him as much or as powerfully as we loved our first child. At the time, I didn't understand the limitless well of love we have for our children. Of course, when our second came along, we loved him as powerfully as his brother an the increase in love in our family was wonderful.

I think both our boys are sure they're our favorite. I know both are well aware that they are loved. 

My "baby" is 14 and I can't even conceive of him needing to live elsewhere to find the love he needs. Poor kid would probably only leave to get away from all of our attention and hugs. Our oldest left at 18 to go to college and I still call him daily after 2 years. Luckily, he hasn't complained and he still visits us regularly. (though not regularly enough for me :)

 

 I pray that Kim was as shocked and disturbed by her behaviour as anyone watching was. Hopefully, she sees that her selfishness and lack of parenting has to stop and she has to put her children first. My thoughts and prayers are with her 3 boys and I hope they are all able to fill the hole she's left in them by her destructive actions. I also hope she gets the help she needs so she can change this before it's too late for her youngest son.

of the lazy parenting shown on today's program. If the mom doesn't have the awareness to know that every time she allows that girl out in a vehicle that she's signing either her daughter or others death sentences, there's just no dealing with her.

 

My son came in near the end of the show and he gave me one of his disbelieving looks and asked if that mom was for real.

 

I'm a pretty relaxed parent and so is my husband but we have some rules that just won't be broken. If they speak on the computer, they are not allowed to use chatspeak. When they are old enough to have a job, they can get a cell phone if that's one of their priorities. They would be grounded from both phone and car if I ever found out they were speaking on the phone or texting while driving. We have tried to set a good example there buy NEVER making calls while driving and never checking the phone if it rings while we're driving. It's just good sense.

 

I think I'm getting too old for shows like this one. I don't have patience any longer for parents who just will not parent. I watch in horrified disbelief and have begun to wish that there were a way to push a button to send a shock through the parent.... I don't think that's appropriate but it's how I'm starting to feel.

 

If I could talk to Chelsea's mom I'd ask her to please just take a day to visit a coronors office or maybe go to the funeral of a teen her daughter's age. I'd tell her that what her daughter is doing is as dangerous as driving drunk or skydiving without a parachute. I'd also ask her to get a backbone where her daughter is concerned. She's not doing her any favors allowing her to run her life at this age.

I'm very surprised that Dr. Phil didn't suggest some follow up care for Kerry.

Although I have no doubt that the neighbors are exacerbating the problem, Kerry has gone so far overboard with both lawsuits and behaviour that it's clear she needs help.

 

I can't imagine how hard it would be to live next to her. I live in a semi-detached home and our neighbor's son is 17 and a drummer. Luckily, I've known him since he was 2 and take a bit of "motherly" pride in how well he's learning to play and I know that if I voiced a problem to his parents, it would be resolved. My own son now plays guitar so between the two of them (if we could get them playing in synch) it's a concert every day.

 

In Misty's case, it looks as though she went around her neighbors to complain instead of going to them. If she did go to them and got no results, then the people with the septic tank problem were at fault but they seem like they'll be able to put it behind them. I think both parties will be a little bit embarrassed when they watch the show and there will be improvement in their relationship.

 

I don't think that will be the case with Kerry. I believe she will continue to harass everyone on her street and will continue to blame them for her actions. I really fear for the future of her neighbors because I don't think it's coincedence that they all were afraid to come forward because of retribution. If I were them, I would place motion activated cameras and lights on each property to record her actions so they can take legal action when necessary. I wish them all the best.

Yesterday, I felt like crap... not sick, just tired and cranky and crappy. I had a pressing chore to do and it was hanging over my head like a sword. I needed to go to the licensing office to renew my license plate sticker. My hubby is working afternoons right now and got home at 2:30 a.m. but he was up at 10 and went out while I was taking our dog out. I assumed he had gone golfing since that's normally what gets him up early and I was a bit angry because I needed the car he was driving to go to the licence office since my sticker was already expired. I napped on the couch while I waited for him to get home and was surprised when he showed up an hour later with my sticker. He explained that he knew I wasn't feeling well so he did it for me.... it's the things like that that just speak volumes and it's acts like that which have defined our marriage. We look out for one another all the time. I make sure that his "big 3" needs are met (easy ones... clean towels, clean socks and good lunch meat) and he more than meets my needs. I met him in high school... he was walking in front of me so it was his amazing soccer players bum I saw first but that was enough. We sat on opposite ends of a horseshoe in one of our classes and made mooney eyes at each other before we had even met. I was dating someone else and didn't want to get involved with someone until I had broken off the relationship so I refused a date with him until that was done. We started dating when we were 18, engaged at 19, married at 20. We knew we were young so we chose not to start a family until we'd been married for 5 years. 27 years later, we have two boys, a dog and a cat and so much love it sometimes stuns me. I often hear women complain about their hubbies and I find it so sad that everyone doesn't have the fortune that I have to have found real love. The kind that laughs, teases, nurtures, snuggles and holds you tight every day for almost 30 years. I can't imagine our love dying and I've never cheated or thought of cheating and my husband has given up a friend because he cheated on his wife so I can't imagine he would cheat either. Real love takes a lot of work... we started out with shiny perfect true love and then we got married and had to live together. We're a pretty odd couple but for us, it works so well. I'm a movie fanatic and he can't stand sitting in a theater. He likes to go to the pub on the corner on Friday night for 4 hours of darts and a few pints and I don't drink and can't stand bars. I go to movies with my girlfriends and I don't mind that he goes out once a week for some time with his friends. He loves cooking and I love eating. We both pitch in to do the housework, we have the same parenting style and easy going natures and we tend to settle arguments with laughter but the times an argument gets rough, we usually sit down and try to figure out what's going on with each other that brought us to that point. My oldest son is a bit put out by the fact that he's the only person he knows who's on his original parents. He's a stand up comedian and he thinks he'd have a lot more material if we'd have the decency to divorce and remarry a few times. *lol* I think real love happens after the bumps and rough patches. Once you've weathered the storms together and understand that you both can get through them together, intact and happy you have true love and that's what lasts. I look forward to our 50th wedding anniversary. I can totally see us as that old couple in the mall, still holding hands and laughing.

Watching today, I was just heartbroken for that little girl. My husband came in and saw that I was a sodden mess and when he asked me what was wrong, I just pointed and let him watch. Seeing Davia almost fold in on herself as her mother so cruelly berated her was literally painful to see. I felt as though I should have been able to do something.

In Part 1, it looked as though the mother was beginning to understand her role in the problems but Part 2 clearly showed that to have been nothing more than a manipulation. Her insistence that her daughter was hinting for hugs and that was why she wouldn't give them was so cruel. As much as I abhor lying, I can't imagine that anything less than lies would make this mother happy... she certainly wasn't moved by her daughter's truths.

I wish the other families were part of a separate show as it's hard to see how the amount of time each of them needs to straighten out their family will be of any help to this hard headed and hearted mother. Tammy and Davia need much more intensive and involved help than can be split up amongst four families. Davia will be in my thoughts and I hope that Tammy will see herself through our eyes and be as horrified as most of us are.

I'm the mom of two boys and I can't think of a time that I would have denied them a hug when needed (and very often when not needed).