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Messages By: ritehere

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blank
July 24, 2005, 9:36 pm CDT

It's good to be back

 It's good to hear from everyone again. I missed checking in everyday, and getting LS's daily thought provoking quotes.  Haven't taken the big hike yet, but I think it's getting close. Everybody, continue to send your thoughts and prayers out to Lynn618, she could use them.
 
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quiet
July 25, 2005, 9:14 am CDT

Impermanence

 I love seeing this category put out for discussion! I've been using meditation and self-hypnosis as tools to getting in touch with my authentic self for about 3 years now. I recently have been looking into Buddhism, as insight is the cornerstone of their practice and they are much more knowledgeable in this area than we westerners. I recently woke up with a keen connection to the concept of "impermanence" and how it contributes to alot of our unhappiness. As with all great truths, it's very simple, but when accepted at a fundamental core level, it can be upsetting. I can see how my whole life, until about 2 years ago, was a constant struggle to get things exactly the way I wanted them, and not have it change. Any disruptions, or sidetracks would send me in a tailspin. Does anybody out there have any input as to how to progress from here? I've gotten fairly skilled at stress reduction and keeping a level of peace within myself, but I still fall into old habits occassionally.
 
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chillin'
July 25, 2005, 9:33 am CDT

Normalita

I have been surfing around the new boards. I read a few of the posts here. I have got major stress in my life. What I have found is if I don't live it every day. Things are really bad then. For example. Seems like everytime I do something I like to do or go somewhere and have fun, then I have to have something bad happen. I will pay for having fun or being happy. If I stay all stressed out all the time, then things are fine. Crazy I know. But I have been paying attention to this and it happens every time. I have a day where I feel good and I am in a good mood. Boom, I will get a letter from the IRS that they are going to audit me. I take a day and play with my grandson, again, I get a phone call someone in my family has been hurt or injured. So, I have just given up enjoying my self. As long as I am in constant worry over something then things seem to stay on an even level. When I do have time to think about myself, I sit and cry. I can cry for and entire afternoon, because I am so heartbroken. Another thing that has been happening to me is post traumatic stuff. When my husband and I were first married and having children, life was less than perfect. We had a lot of struggles and had some really bad times.We came so close to being homeless a coulple of times, it wasn't funny.Bad part was we had family members going around in the background doing this to us. We had absolutely no support or help. We are fine now and the kids are all grown and gone, but I keep having flash backs. Back to that time and it is almost like being shot with a gun. It just stops me in my tracks. I get very upset all over again and it doesn't even matter any more. I just don't feel having a happy life is possible.

This may not make a lot of sense to you unless you watch Dr Phil, or have read any of his books. I think you are letting past events color your present and future. You seem to be seeing the world through defensive lenses, and are stuck with the idea that all of your happiness has to be paid for with some unhappiness or stress. Have you put your thoughts, and reactions to stressful situations to the truth test? For instance, why would enjoying time with your grandson be in any way related to being audited by the IRS? And what truth is there to the idea that any time spent in happiness with your grandson will lead to something bad like a phone call about an injury in the family? What you are doing with these thoughts is paving the way to ruining time with your grandson, or at worst, unconciously arranging for unpleasantness. You both would lose if this were to happen. Dr Phil's SELF MATTERS book is an excellent guide to help you get at the root of any faulty or flawed thinking patterns, and to help you free yourself from the destructive cycle they can create. Please consider picking up a copy and reading it, it can be a life saver. Good luck to you.
 
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happy
July 25, 2005, 9:49 am CDT

Lyne,

Hi Ritehere,

It is good to see you back on the board, your input is always refreshing to read and your wisdom is clearly something i acknowledge and look for.

Thank you for your kinds words for Lynn i sure will say a prayer for her.

Have a nice day

Sincerly Lyne

So glad to hear from you again! Aren't vacations just what you need? I hope your surgery is completely successful and recovery is quick. Keep us posted.
 
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giddy
July 25, 2005, 9:59 am CDT

Brenda,

Oh! Ritehere, Teri, Michelyn5 and Longstory, I have missed you all so MUCH!!!!

I was just browsing and reading to try and catch up with every one! Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer!!!

Only 3 more working days before I am officially retired-from this particular position, that is. RETIREMENT... sure hope I'm doing it correctly!

I just have no experience at retiring. Is it supposed to be one of those solemn, somber things or like a 'Yee-ha, it's party time, ya'll!' kinda thing? Hope it's NOT too serious. I don't have a single decent black outfit! And, that black hat and veil are just plain gone... lost the veiled black hat while racing down the road after a funeral!!!

So good to have the board back! I've missed you all!

Oh! I did return to the beach, have another M-O-T-H-E-R story, later!

Brenda :-)

 Thought about you alot while the boards were down, but it sounds like you're still here and relatively sane, despite what you feared! I've been studying Buddhist practices, and this was a lovely example of impermanence. I tend to get upset when my carefully balanced spinning plates crash to the floor, but you know what? They do it anyway. Find the lesson and the humor and move on. Great to hear from you!
 
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chillin'
July 26, 2005, 7:37 am CDT

Turtleplus,

Quote From: turtleplus

Hello there,

I am new to message boards and don't often get to post/get on the net. I am 45yrs old, single professional counselor and just feeling really lost on my spirit's journey. I spend a lot of time just working with families and adolescents and trying to fit in time for myself. I like to jog, and do so 4miles per day, and swim for 2 miles, it helps to reduce stress, keeps me fit and trim and hopefully makes me attractive to a potential mate. I am Native American and participate to two different worlds. It's getting hard to keep it going... When I have my professional hat on, it feels so natural and I have such fun with it, despite all the problems I deal with with my families. Yet, when I come home and I am alone, I often wonder if I have walked my path in truth and made a difference. I have no children, and no partner except Spirit. I often find myself wondering why my Higher self would choose such a path for me, yet, I accept this path but, not sure anymore how to continue the walk/journey.

I welcome any feedback/ideas.

Spirit Bless,

Monica

It sounds like you've hit that time in your life where you're "taking stock." It seems you are dissatisfied with your off time, and are thinking maybe the job is the fault. Please don't think this way. You said yourself that it feels natural and that you have fun with it, despite the fact that it can be stressful. I'm sure that you help many people who forget to say thank-you, but they are indebted nevertheless. It sounds like you may have regrets about not having a family of your own? This is very natural at your stage in life, just remember that it too shall pass. There are many different kinds of family, not just the ones that we think of first. Maybe it's time to do something you've always wanted to do, but never gave yourself permission to do? BTW, turtles are sacred to Hawaiians, you see them everywhere over there.
 
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July 26, 2005, 7:45 am CDT

Hisjewel,

Quote From: hisjewel

Well, it is true that you can't change what you don't acknowlede but when you look at the question, what amI not satisfied with in my life and your answer is nothingis ever good enough well haaaaaaa how in the world doI change that!!! I mean sure I know it's possible but well yeah I don't know what I am talking about. LOL
 Ask yourself this, "Who is it not good enough for?" If your answer is YOU never feel you are good enough, how did you arrive at this answer? And is it getting you what you want in life?  If it's  somebody else's voice telling you you're not good enough,  where's the truth in it? Why would you let somebody else decide if you are worthy or not? These are exactly the kinds of answers that you can find in SELF MATTERS, if you truly want to find them.
 
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hopeful
July 26, 2005, 8:07 am CDT

Time for evaluation

Quote From: sarwile

I am writing a small message on Dr Phil's message board because I am bored. Does anyone here ever just find it exhausting to live life? I have always been considered a "happy", and "fun" person. I have been married for 2 years. I am a going to school to be a Nurse practioner. I tell myself that I love it, I tell myself that I couldn't be going into a better career and that I love treating patients response to illness. Truly though I want a huge house in the mountainsthat is covered in fruit trees with a fence that is twelve feet high surrounding it. A pool, a barbeque, a million books to read and a dog by my side to keep me company. I don't like people and their infectious diseases. I actually like infectious disease more then I like people. I have no reason to dislike people except that all I see in them is sadness and the ability to be hurt. I see their ability to hurt others with acts of stupidity or just plain accidents. I think I may be depressed, but I have no functional problems yet. My husband tries to get me to talk to a psychiatrist and he makes appointments for me to see one. On my way to the appoinments I rationalize my self out of the appointment. I see the problems in me and I am scared to change them. I like me but I see the sickness in me. I see the sickness in Americans all around me. I try to tell myself that when I am done with school I will find a country with less sickness but I know there isn't one out there. I tell myself I will be happy making enough money to be comfortable on and helping people with their sicknesses and being "good" and "kind" but it won't happen. I know that good and evil are relative and that I am not a candidate for either one of them. I see my fellow students not relishing in the fact that they will soon be able to help people, but the fact that they will be making a 6 figure income soon. All of my ideals of going to school to be a health care provider have been shot in the conversations with my peers. My mind is sick, and I am tired. Maybe I will finish my degree and become a beach bum. That will make my parents proud!!!! I must sound crazy but I was just trying to define my authentic self so deal with it.

Why did you choose this line of study? Go back to your reasons, figure out what drove you to spend years of your life learning this vocation. Sometimes the motivation (desire to help others, as an example) has not been paired with the right niche. That should not stop you from finding that niche. As a teenager, I considered becoming a nurse, so I took a job as an aide to see what it would be like. I found that at that time, I was not ready for the stress of people in pain. You definitely don't get to see most people at their best. I knew that in time, I would become like some of the older nurses who had no compassion left, that handled the patients with brusque efficiency and let them know they thought they were being "babies." It takes a certain attitude to be a good nurse. If you honestly don't think you'd be a good one, just be a nurse for awhile. Be looking for a position that your education and experience will help you get into, that fits you better. There are other careers that nursing can springboard you into. My best wishes to you.
 
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July 26, 2005, 8:16 am CDT

In the trenches with ragged nails,

Quote From: blgspc

Ya know, when I was preparing to finalize my separation/retirement I was experiencing a bit of anxiety and apprehensiveness. I actually found myself gnawing at my nails.

Then, I began thinking of how long I've been working with the, "Just get the job done." thinking. I don't mean that I devalue the people I serve and I certainly cherish most of the people with whom I've work with, however, I sure became aware of how much respect I've lost for the 'System' in which I work!

I thought about all of the people who have been right there with me, in the trenches. That's when I said, "I'm worried about NOT being in the TRENCHES...a long narrow ditch?!?!"

I also realized that I really LOVED my job about 15 years ago. As I was being promoted and saying at the same time, "But, I REALLY want to continue to work hands-on in Nursing." So, they gave me BOTH! Acute Primary Care and Management responsibilities! I was an idiot to take on the things I've been assigned in the last ten years!

I will miss those wonderful people I work closest with over the year. (Hey, they think I'm funny!)

However, once I got clear. I grabbed my shoulder bag, with my dingy head held high and headed for the Personnel Office to file for full retirement!

YES!

Brenda :-)

It's usually the people you miss the most, because they are what made the trenches bearable long after your honeymoon period with the job is over. I'll bet they are missing that wicked sense of humor you have. I have to agree with Marcia on the 3 month thing. I read somewhere that you have to have about 3 months of aimless good times and relaxation to disconnect with the old life, come face to face with the REAL YOU, and decide, or not, what you will do with yourself from here on out. Take care, and my best to the rest of the family.
 
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giddy
July 26, 2005, 8:19 am CDT

Authenticity

Quote From: jpmitford

HI I AM A 53 YR OLD WOMEN WHO IS STILL LOOKING FOR MY AUTHENTIC SELF.
 There's never a bad time to start. Go for it and the best of life to you.
 

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