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Messages By: queentween

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October 11, 2005, 8:01 pm PDT

Mechanics Lien

Quote From: normalita

you can email if you like my address is: 

  

fire_mom3@yahoo.com 

  

There is an underscore between fire and mom.  Thanks for writing back.  I am going to need some help with this situation if that's ok. 

  

I got a letter that states that this company is going to send us a certain amount everyweek.  I had the bean counter guy send it to me, because as I was talking to him, I ask, "how do I know you will do what you say"  Something he knows nothing about.  He caughed and stammered, and said " don't know"  So I told him fax it to me today.  And he did.  So I do have that and after ouconversation last Thurday, if he misses even one payment, for what ever reason, he is going to my lawyer for further collections.  I am done trying to reason with this jerk. 

  

We found out friday that the bean counter guy and another head guy in the home office, spent all the money that was given to them by investors for the projects that my husband has been working on.  My husband went down to the plant today and there were alot of people talking about lay offs.  So it is getting bad.   

  

This company is not our only means of income.  IT has just been a very steady one for over a year now.  We learned early on to be diverse enough that if one thing goes away, you still have more.  That is where we are at.  But still when you loose something like this, it makes an impact. 

  

Please email me and I will explain more.  I am off to my other job. 

Talk to you soon 

Norma 

I think you can file a Mechanics Lien for work done and payment not received if the issue has been recurrent.I am not up on the legalities, but that way with the lien, people are aware of the situation if the company suddenly gets sold, refinances, or applies for further money to keep running. And if any substantial part of the business is liquidated, your name is in the running for the money. Just a thought.... 
 
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October 11, 2005, 8:08 pm PDT

Sensitive spots on men

Quote From: emmdavis

This is horribly embarrasing to write about.  

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years, we've been together for four years. 

A couple of weeks ago, he got way more adventerous in bed and wanted me to use a dildo on him. 

When he squeezed his eyes shut and told me I was in the  "wrong" place, I was horrified.  He then moved my hand up about an inch and a half or so to the "right" place. 

Now, please excuse my ignorance, but as a woman who has had previous partners who have targeted the "wrong" place and had to correct them myself,  what does this mean? 

I mean, I thought I was smart till my husband told me I was trying in the wrong place.  

I was only aware of ONE place on a man that a dildo could possibly go... 

  

One of the most sensitive spots on a man is directly behind his scrotum (balls, yes, thats right). You can feel a small nub of tissue there and it turns a lot of guys on... Maybe your husband wasn't looking for penetration into his anus, but stimulation on that spot-
 
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October 14, 2005, 5:24 pm PDT

Hmmmm

Quote From: lillyflow

I can't believe the images that I saw of the lady beating her husband as he was unconcious! My dad was actually an alcoholic. He was not abusive, but would sometimes come home really smashed. Well I cannot imagine how her poor girls feel! Because there were times that I was scared as a child and cried myself to sleep just because I loved my dad and didn't want to see him like that. To add the salt to the wound she had to beat her husband on top of it. Which demeaned him, instead of tring to get him help! I literally got sick to my stomach when I saw that. She was at least part of the reason that the drinking conitnued I'm sure. Instead of showing love and concern and compassion for her own husband she kicked him while he was down! She didn't even stop to think that little girls love their father. Even if he was a drunk, they would still love him. And she was assaulting their Father the man that they loved! Ugh!! I know that she is getting help, but if I were her daughter it would take me a very long time to forgive her! 

I trully believe that compassionate touch is so important and that man did not recieve the support that he needed. 

I am so thankful that I had a mother who had a heart big enough to stand beside my Father and show him compassion. He was a great man, because of my mothers love. Which allowed me to still respect my Father and love him. And love both of them for sticking it out through thick and thin.  

Well, unless you saw some tape I didn't, no one was pouring booze down that guys throat. No one drinks because of another person. They drink because they want to- end of story. They stop because they want to- IF they want to. An addict is an addict is an addict. Every day, the temptation is there- whether they succumb to it or not is up to them. I am not judging  if this womans reaction was appropriate or not- but SHE did not MAKE him drink.  And, since I didn't live in the house, I don't know if he beat her when he was sober.  

  

My Dad was an alcoholic- no one recognized it back in the '60's-70's because he was funny and smart- when he wasn't home. When he was home, he was resentful, mean and sarcastic.  The police would never pick him up for DWI because he was "such a nice guy".My mother left with us kids when we were 15, 12 and 10. We went from living on one of the biggest farms in the county to a tiny, dumpy house with  no water for the first 2 years. We showered at school and wore leftovers from friends.And you know what? We finally started laughing.  And living. The Divorce was good for our family.(we were the only divorced family in our town) We survived. All 3 of us have advanced degrees, all three are home owners, we all have careers and none of us let alcohol control our lives. And, we weren't the reason he drank. Neither are these kids or this wife. 

  

As an end note- Dad discovered he had advanced colon cancer when I was 22. He came to live with us until he died. Had he not been drinking, he may have been more in tune with his body and gone for regular colonoscopies.That cancer may have been able to be arrested, and he could have lived to see all 5 of his grandchildren. Alcohol- the only legal drug. 

 
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October 14, 2005, 5:27 pm PDT

Hmmm

Quote From: emmdavis

I think I need to be a little clearer on something. 

It wasn't anal penetration that my husband wanted.  When I said that I thought there was only one place to use a dildo on, that's what I was referring to.  Anal.  Now, when I said that he moved my hand up about an inch and a half, I discovered that there was more than one place, and I almost had a stroke.  That's what I want to know... I thought there was only ONE place ...   what the hell is up with this?  Am I truly that stupid and naieve (cause I know I can't spell!!  LOL) 

Does anybody know? 

He has an anus. And then he has another opening on his body? Is he a hermaphrodite? Because a man has (I wish I could draw it) his scrotum, behind that is his prostate area, and then is his anus. How long have you been married?
 
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October 15, 2005, 4:10 am PDT

Going back to school at 45.

Quote From: brenda8189

Yes, these discussions really helped me make my mind up also.  Between this discussion and the one from last weeks show dealing with jealousy, I've decided no more talk...its time for action.  I do deserve to be happy!  We all do!  And I'm going to do it.  I called yesterday and made an appointment with an attorney.  I don't go until October 26 but I'm going to do it. Everyone thinks I'm going to change my mind by then but, I won't.   

  

I couldn't sleep last night at all between feeling nervous about everything and excited about the future.  I lay there in the dark thinking about what furniture I'll buy and all kinds of stuff!  Especially the peace.     

  

On today's show, Dr. Phil asked a woman what exactly it was that she was mourning, her husband being gone or  the husband she wishes he would be.  That hit home with me very hard.  My husband is never going to be the husband I wish he was so it's time to move on with my life.  There are things I've wanted to do for years and everytime I brought them up to him, he would sound all excited but made darn sure I never followed through with them.  I'm going to do them now.  What do you think about a 45 year old going back to school??   

  

Let's keep praying for one another and all the others out there that are going through the same thing.  I don't ever want to go back to that way of life.  I hated myself.  It wasn't the real me.  The real me would have never gotten so angry that she would physically pound on her husband!  I have done that before too.  It scared me so very much.  Thats when I decided I suppose to just not fight and go with the way he wanted.  I think that was worse that the fighting and arguing!   

  

Wish me luck with the attorney.  Keep praying!  

Well, if you go back to school now,  in less than 4 years, you will be 49 with a degree. If you don't go back to school, in 4 years you will be 49 without a degree.  Its your decision. Good luck! :)
 
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October 15, 2005, 4:19 am PDT

There is you r solution!

Quote From: lucky35

Well, that's just it.  My husband complains constantly about his truck which "drinks a lot of gas'" so I was actually going to get it fixed for him.  Is that stupid. My broken-down car can run on one tank of gas for almost 2 weeks, whereas, his truck, maybe a week.  I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of hearing him complain and using my my new car and I doubt seriously he ever is in a position to finance anything.
There is your solution! He needs to sell his truck and take the money to repair the honda. People are still buying trucks despite the cost of gas, and taking that money to directly fix the honda is a good idea. Any left over can be put on your car loan and save you some interest. The longer he uses your new car, the less excited he will be about using the old honda. Men are like that- yes, even my fabulous husband. If we get something new, the old one which was perfectly serviceable is suddenly "garbage" Thats why the electronics industry thrives!!! To be honest-  most of our lives are not so speedy that we need a new computer every 2 years and DSL, wireless, fast fast fast> good luck!
 
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October 15, 2005, 4:33 am PDT

Working at home

Quote From: ladyshivia

Im a mother of two kids 8 year girl and 12 year old boy and a wonderful gift of a baby boy on the way thats a blessing. due this coming March. 

Im frustrated that there are NO jobs and i mean nooo jobs in Iowa where I live that will not hirer me due to there so called standards. Which im told more like Discrimination than anything. 

I get interviews and they say 'Oh I'd love to hirer you right now you have everything we are looking for and you could start right away .....but.. im sorry we just can't work around the school hours for your kids. we have set hours only.' What abunch of blank. I havent had a job in like can't really remember when,   a few years.  

A few years ago my hubby thought its be a good ideal to take a home cource in Medical Claims Billing and therefor I did and I passed and have my Diplomia. my finail grade was 96%. They (At-Home-Profession Located in Dever Co) told me i could work at home for a local company working on Medical Claims Billing if i have Internet. Well Dsl is not out in the country. not one Medical Claims Company will hirer me even though i have proof and training they closed there doors and beside no company is going to trust any person to work on medical claims at home. So we was burnt out of $3,000.00 for something that was faulty. ( i have dail up if lucky ) 

Back in the 98 I had paid $30. to get a listing of work at home companys. Well it came and it was just a book called The Complete Guide To Home Based Employment . all it was is a book with home jobs and only gave half the information and alot of P.O. box for the companys address. and if you was interested in one ya had to send a letter for additional information to get started and send a self address. or to get free informtion. I tryed one for beeded earring i made the five they wanted send it back and they got rejected cuz they didnt meet there SO called Standards.  

There's got to be Some kind of company  where I can work at home making some type of crafts and using the u p s for shipping (u p s passes my house everyday on the gravel road) 

Ive looked online for them and I also see that not one of them is Redistared with the BBB therefor every one is faulty. 

I have great anger building inside cuz i want to help my hubby with the bills and everything else. My hubby is stressed out due to working two Jobs. Even though he'll say otherwise. where now he has a Skin rash caused by stressed, (is what the doc said) His first job is sales and works from 7am until 5pm the comes home eats dinner quickly, Then poof  he's off  to his part time job at an auto store for another 4-5 hours at night. He says hes not burnt out but I can see he is. The part time job is maybe a few nights and mostly every weekend. 

He told my father that he would rather work two jobs instead of having me go to work. I think that is very loving and carring,  

Is there really a thing called Work at home jobs. ?  To make money or something? Or is that just a saying as in work at home mother who cleans the house and cooks. Yippy.  

  

Please Let me know I would really like to hear from others about this. 

There are 2 ways to increase income: make more or spend less. 

1. If you decide to go to work, you need child care, a wardrobe, transportation, and an acceptance that the job expects you to go to work at the scheduled time. 

2.If you decide to stay home, the ways you can save money are varied. You can  reduce the electricity costs by using the clothesline to dry clothes and using your appliances at night rather than during the day. You can stop buying prepared foods and cook all home cooked meals. SInce you are in the country, you can have a garden and freeze/can food for the winter. ALso, you can sell the excess. Since you have 2 kids in school, I am sure that there are mothers who would love to have a place for their kids to go after school- thats a great source of income- and its only for a few hours a day.  By staying home, you don't need to burn the extra gas going to and from work. I take 2 days a week where I do not start the car for anything- man, has THAT saved!!  Crafts are not the way to go. People who like that style want to do it themselves as a hobby. The profit margin is  non-existant.  If you smoke,Stop smoking. If you drink beer, booze, stop drinking. Make the kids kool-aid instead of soda. Hook up with a local food shelf and volunteer your time. You get to see people and you bring home some food. Don't go shopping. Prepare a list, and stick to it. Take pride in your home. Don't whine. Don't think about getting rich. Cut back the cable and hit the library.To be honest, your hubby probably enjoys coming home to a nice warm house with good food and a loving environment.  Go to church and meet some people.Enjoy your children and raise them well-thats the best job you can have- PS- don't listen to those ads on tv- they are full of beans.  They just want YOUR money- thats how they made theirs..... 

  

 
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October 15, 2005, 4:47 am PDT

Thought I was beign a good parent but bad typist........

Ah yes, I thought I was being a good parent. I was trying hard. My daughter had a terrible smell in her room. I cleaned and cleaned and could not find it. It turned out that she had taken a little sweetie watermelon from our garden and put it in her sock drawer to keep.  It molded, the socks molded, and how I didn't notice it is beyond me. She did raise it, (watermelons and peppers were her job) but......sigh......well, at least I know where the smell came from.....
 
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October 19, 2005, 9:09 am PDT

Stimulation

Quote From: camaris

He may have what is called a "sacral dimple" -- a small indentation at the base of the spine that's a mild form of birth defect.  Unless he has spina biffida, though, it would only be the depth of a belly-button, tops.   
Thats a thought- but would it be a stimulating area? I also thought of a removed basal cyst, which could leave a "hole" but I don't know if it would be a spot that  would get sexually stimulated...
 
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October 19, 2005, 9:19 am PDT

Love.

Quote From: rainy_

Haha. Its not all fun and games I know. I am a mother of 2 twins. nurchuring is always good but do nurcher them too much.  

also I just had these 2 (jordan and scott) a month ago. time flys. I would love to hear what peopl have to say. 

1. Hug your children, hold them all day, kiss them 100 times a day, talk to them like they are your best friends because they are. 

2. Before you yell, get mad or show anger, decide if its worth it- did they spill paint on the floor or did they intentionally hit the dog. Did they put a snack on the new couch or did they go out of their way to hit someone else? I don't care about carpets, couches, how many times I have to mop the floor. I do care about them learning to treat animals and subsequently, humans, with respect and love.  

3. You chose to have them. They come before you, your spouse, your grown family members.  If there is only enough money for one pair of sneakers, you can get another month out of yours. If the choice is goldfish crackers or budweiser, the crackers must always come first. 

4. If you ever resent your children, wonder what your life would be without them, or miss partying, think about the mothers in war torn countries who carry their dead children for miles so at least they will know where their babies are buried. Those women would cherish another day of cleaning up spilled cereal. 

 

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