Messages By: lonalea200

 Yes the Kite Festival is fun. Some Kites are almost as big as a city block, seriously. So the wind needs to be strong that day. Of course there are tons of regular sized kites. All kinds, like you mentioned.   The music I download is from a "file sharing" program called "Limewire.com" You only pay a one time fee, about $30+ and you have it for life.  It is great, I have gone back and burrned CD's of  Steve & Edie Gormet , Roger Williams and anyone I want to for my parents as well as groups from my era ( 1970's-80's ), and can get the present. I just love the service. Once you pay the one time fee, there is no more fees. NONE.  I mean you have to buy the blank CD"S, but they're cheap. I can pick up 100 blank CD's for around $24 +-  and I can get 80 minuets on each CD. That comes out to about 20 songs on each CD. It is well worth it !!! eVeryone should check it out. 

Liz 

Sorry Vickie, I had to go to bed. But I will be online, or should be this afternoon. I look forward to chatting with you. I hope you can talk then. Or maybe tonight. 

Liz 

 I say...GOOD JOB !!!!!!! For You!!) ) ))))))))) Way to go !  Taking care of yourself is much more important than anything else.  You are the only person who knows yourself best and if that is what you have to do, then that is what you have to do. Please don't fret over what others think, so what if they don't understand, while they are slave-working, you could be lying on the beach (or something similer), and can rub it in their face telling them " they had the choice too". Go....enjoy your time to yourself, you deserve it !!!!!   I am sure it is time well earned.  Good job !!!  Great Decision !!!))))))))) 

Liz 

I think that Hospital is a bunch of crap !!!! He should of been admitted right away. I mean I am no nurse, but obviously his pulse is too low !!!   Have you in the mean time made an appt with his doctor?? Is there another hospital in the area that you could go to? How about a Urgent Care facility? Man, I would be exhausting all my resources that I could. Which you probably already have.  But DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!  Keep pushing and asking for treatment.   BUT.........TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO !!!!!!!! Realize you can only do so much.  Pace yourself. It is all a balancing act. YOu can't help your friend very much if you are wiped out, can you???  In order to be strong for your friend, you must be strong with yourself.  Good luck !! 

Liz 

 I understand perfectly what you are saying. You question the ability  of your own mind and how it is responding. Is it responding by how you were raised, by your actions, or the real you wanting to get out and be who you are. But the proeblem is you don't know who the real you, is. You  almost question too many things. But in some ways questiong yourself can be good. It can give you good insight to how you are. But it takes a lot of hard work. You have to learn what to place the imphasis on. Which is you. first and foremost What do you want right now. IF you don't know what you want right now, you can't process the past.  Does the dark side feel like an escaspe from what your parents taught you? Or are you truely facinated by the 'Dark Side'? Don't bass it on what others did to you, you can only look for how you are.  I know that sounds odd when I just asked you if that was an escape from what your parents taught you, but what I meant from that was, Is it a choice you have made to go against their belilefs.?  Rmember..Start with today, then look at the past.                                                                 

Liz

no one knows how empty a person feels at any given moment. If I died right now, there would be no one who would know. And there would be a whole lot of people who say they cared who would realized that they really didn't care. And that is what is so sad because I see that they don't really care. It just would take my death to wake them up. Do I really need to go through it to prove my point...maybe I do. Maybe I should. If it will wake people up to say  "Hey, I am here" then that is what I need to do. I would rather people would wake up on their own, it would mean so much more to me, but it isn't going to happen. I have been waiting too long and been hurt too many times that it calls for drastic measures. And if that is death, then that is what needs to be done to get my point accross, becuase nobody is hearing me now. No matter how hard I yell, I am dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean. And no one hears. Or even makes an attemp to hear. People lie about pretending to hear you and caring. I don't believe anyone truely cares about anyone. i have yet to find anyone to really care about me. I am 45 and have never had someone to love or love me back, I don't know what love is. It doesn't exsist.  So I have no reason to stay, nothing to keep me here. I would rather be in my own world in the sky then in my own world with people ignoring you all around you. In  my world there would be silence.

Signed...Stranger on this Planet

  Does anyone know of any new medication being used for bipolar that is working in their life? I have tried everything from tegratol to Topamax and all the usuall inbetween. Right now I am on Topamax, I take 100mg in the am and 200mg in the pm and I am still rapid cycling. I need something better. I wish I could go back on Lithium, it worked great, but my kidneys are failing and so that hinders that. But I didn't know if somewhere in anouther part of the country they were using a different medication that might be successful that hadn't made it out west yet. Anybody have any suggestions???

Liz