Messages By: whskywmn33

My husband has been showing signs of infidelity. This has been going on for several months now. As he will call from work, using their land-line and if he calls from his cell phone, I get emotionally disturbed. When he calls all happy or come home extremely happy I am certain he has seen someone else.  Everytime we watch something on TV involving cheating, he always looks down, and appears guilty.  He will not let me have access to his home computer password, or work password. I have called him at work saying I will come out there and take him to lunch he says NO DON'T. or THAT WOULD NOT BE A WISE THING TO DO.  I  told him someone caled and hung up, then they called again, it was a demale voice. He looked down, basically giving it away that he has seen someone else. He has an ofice in the basement of the site he is working at that has a couch and it's own private bathroom.  He frequently works overtime and weekends. I don't know what else to do.  I can't jsut pick up and go driving due to a medical condition. PI's cost too much to hire. what other tactics can I use to get to the truth?  I have contacted his exwife and she said he cheated on her, his best man has admitted to him cheating on his first wife. So, of course I'm more so on my guard. Any suggestions?

As I said before, it is rather dificult for me to get out and safely drive; due to a medical condition.  I think he takes advantage of this. He knows every 2 weeks I am not comfortable driving long distances, if I have to I take side streets and avoid the highway.  Should I continue to trust my instinct? I believe I should.  As for the computer at his work, he had told me that only his coworkers e-mail him and me. Then he says he got an e-mail from his brother. That's no big deal; what is is the fact that he has lied about it. HIs brother doesn't work for his company. If he has lied about that, I'm most certain he has lied about other isssues. For instance, One day we were talking about having sex in his office and I said I would want it cleaned before we do. Since other people (bosses) have access to the office, you never know what they are doing behind closed doors. He didn't say anything, but looked down with a guoilty look on his face. That told me, he has entertained other people in his office. What would you think if you had this conversation with your husband and he reacted the same way? Asking him won't get me anywhere for he will deny it and say I don't trust him.  Which at this point is true.  I can recall another time when I was talking on the phone with a friend. We were discussing how her boyfriend had chated on her. When I got off he said to me "you know nothings going on, right?"   No man says that or says "prove that I am not" without actually being guilty of the act. What do oyu think?  Should I come right out and tel him I don't need proof to tell me of your guilt for you have done it yourself? or should I loet it lie and hope that I find substantial evidence? Still confused on how to handle this, but not blind nor dumb. How do I get the trtith out of him?  

A friend gave me a # to a psychic. She has used her before. So, out of curiosity, I called the lady, she responded. Without me giving any info she immediately pointed that I was depressed, she also described past life experiences such as she said there were two  fatalities in your life. One was recent and one was years ago. Then she said she got a strong since from a female with blonde hair, and a sence from a male figure who I was close too. That my childhood was not calm, there were many family arguments and dishonesty.  I was blown away. She also descirbed my marriage. She said you are not happy and that I am married to a mean and selfish man. So, I asked her if he had cheated on me or if he is, she said he had, a few months  ago with someone who has long brown hair, brown eyes, weighing around 110 pounds. As of now he is not. HIs affair was not work rlated, but w/ someone he knows through work. What got my attention was the fact that a few months ago when my hus. and I were out dancing, he ran into someone he knew from a hospital he did work for. They spent a long time conversing and she fits the description to the tee. The psychic said her name begins with an L. When the time is right I will ask him again what her name is.  What she could describe fit his profile to a tee.  She also said that he has been and will be unfaithful again. That she senses I will be leaving him in the next 6 months. That there is a better and respectful romance that will first be friends and blossom into a love. SHe aid that the reason I haven't left is due to financial restraints. That is accurate. The most important thing I got out of talking with her was what I suspected all along. He had cheated on me. So, as she said I I know is that I need to get a job, save and strategically plan to leave him.  I am looking for employment, once I have enough money saved, I have it planned in my mind to leave him while he is at work one day. so that when he comes home it will be a slap in the face for him.

 My husband is refusing to come clean.  Although I still don't have solid proof of his cheating, my gut continues to believe he is.  We went to TNN last week to visit his brother and his wife, and to "celebrate" our first anniversary. I told his sister in- law of my strong suspecions. She said that he would never cheat on me. We talked for quite a long time. My husband has his friends and family  believing he is "Prince Charming". As I bite my tongue each time I feel he has cheated, it is tearing me up inside that he doesn't love me enough to confess to his inability to be faithful.  

   recently he has started using different lingo for certain things. As i ask him where did he get that from, he says nothing.  I decided I was going to try a different approach to try to get the truth out of him. So, on our drive down to TNN, we stopped for a bite to eat. I told him out of casual conversation, that, I need to make an appointment to see my gyno, for, I have been itching a lot in the croch. I also said I didnt know why, and I want to check to make sure everything is fine.  As soon as I said this, he looked down and had this presence on his face that told me he was thinking about his lover and that she may have a STD.  Although this approach could go the different way, and he accuse me of cheating. As KI am trying to relax and not think about it so much, for the truth will eventually come out.  In the meantime, I know he is not wearing protection. He had a vesectomy and feels it not necessary to use one. KNowing this and going w. my gut feelings, I really have no desire to be intimate with him, I worry that if he has been unfaithful and continues to be, he will someday get AIDS.  Yes, I do realize that this is no longer a love marriage, that he wanted to marry me to boost his ego. He is 22 yrs. older than I and I am a maid,  trophy, and his mother. He will never consider me as his wife. As I have stated before, I need a job, that has good health insurance, save up, and than get on w/ y life. I can't and will not live like this. As this letter probably made no sense.  But I need to know how to find his weak point and have him confess. Any suggestions?  TY for  your ear.   

As I have written, that I truly beleive that my husband is cheating, and have explained in detail why I think he has and/or is. THe majority of the boards response is to follow him. Thats is a problem. I have a medical condition which allows me to drive a certain distance. Every 2 weeks this occurs. Even then, I have to be so careful of when I drive. All of my friends hold daytime jobs, and can't take me, anyway, I don't want them to think I have totally lost it. I supose, I could take a trian to where he works and then a cab to his work site. As for bills, this is where is gets complicated. He has access to many means of communication at work. One- he has a cell phone provided by his work, and a land line at work. He also has access to the internet through his lap top at work; again provided by his co. He says that the company pays expensis of his cell phone, and computer.  I find that hard to believe.  As for other bills, I have checked and there is nothing out of the norm on the bills. He is smart in that area, enough to either pay in cash or, use another means of credit card. Which, he could easily have this bill sent to his work, and pay it there. It still makes me wonder why my name is on only one of his credit cards and not on the rest. I have implied that I need to be on his existing cards in case of an emergency, and he blows it off.  So, he has a great advantage in cheating and not being caught 1 due to my driving limitations and his means of accessible communication. What am I supposed to do call his work and speak with his boss, asking for a copy of calls he made via his cell phone? I have considered that, but due to the privacy act and the company policy I am sure It would be denied and also make me look like a fool.  All of this has not just made me mad, but I can literally feel the rage and my blood boil. mostly due to frustration that I can't catch the SOB. As I know from his actions and responses to questions that he is guilty as sin. For instance, the other day I told him I was going to stop by at work and take him to lunch and added you'd be so embarrassed if i did that. He said, "you'd be checking up on me". I told him its checking up if I don't announcemy arrival. That if I wanted to check up on him, I wouldn't tell you what I was going to do.  A couple of weeeks ago, I spoke w/ him on the phone as he was at work and told him I was going to come out there and take him to lunch, he said do I need the directions, I said no. Quite a change from his last response.  If I had money, I'd hire a PI. So, I am keeping my mouth shut and ears and eyes wide open. For, he will have to slip up sometime. He has al his boundaries covered, and covered well. I try not to think about it, which is hard to do, considering, he's being or at least making me believe he's being intimate w/ someone else. Now that the reader of this know why I cant up and follow him, any advice on what I can do?  Thanks for reading.

AS I mentioned before, I am certain that most of his exchanges occur at his work place. The thing is, his company provides a laptop to him and the phone at work is a landline. Both of these accounts are owned by the company. As I have investigated his events thru his laptop at work and wasnt succesful, for he will not give me his fullpassword for his lap top at work. I can't call and ask his boss for their password. Everything has a password now . Even at his computer at home I dont have acess to his password. So, I will try his cell phone and se the results I get. For it would be so easy for him to delete any calls that were incoming and made. He knows I check his cell phone and calls that have been made and received. As for our bank accnts, I am on that, its the credit cards that I am a little weary about. He has at least 3 credit cards and I am on only one of them. He is smart enough to use cash and he does. So, what do I do, ask him how much he is taking and ask to see that amount? He takes care of the depositing. I suggested once that I can deposit the checks he gets from work and he didnt like that. I could say I need to and want to know where the money is going. MAybe that would work. I also could tell him that since he is at work all day and I am not, I can start taking care of the finances and see his reaction. What do you think?