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Messages By: jane_holt

jane_holt
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August 30, 2005, 3:38 pm PDT

keeping toys

  •       When i come across toys i think are cute or might belong to some kind of value i keep them in a box in the drawers in cabnits where ever they fit well.   I do pull them out some times i think because i did not have toys as a kid and when my kids where small we could not afford them as just gifts just holidays... 
 
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jane_holt
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September 13, 2005, 3:24 pm PDT

I need to learn to heal

Quote From: kalanif

Like I said earlier.  For those who don't or can't understand -- mazel tov.  Congratulations.   

But TOO MUCH INFORMATION?  Then look away and certainly don't post, unless you are truly seeking knowledge.  But you're not (you skeptics), are you?  You want to voice your disgust at our suffering.   

I'm trying to become whole, but I'm not there yet.  Positive posts on this board have made me feel less different and alone. 

TOO MUCH INFORMATION for me and those like me was to know about sex and sexuality TOO EARLY.  It's complicated enough as an adult.  Add to that shame, guilt, and fear.  Don't you think that that's too much information for a child?  We're not children anymore and we're ready (and SAFE ENOUGH) to talk about it. 

     I need to learn to heal and not feel shame anymore I am 47 and memories of pitures came out in a nightmare as I awoke  one morning about 14 yrs ago. what had been done to me. a fwe years later the rest came and man did i run from myself went by another name even. because the rest of thoes where memorries of what i did ... To other that was shameful it has been the last 2 years I have been making amens for my misgivings. Bless everybody how visits this site for healling.
 
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jane_holt
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September 14, 2005, 8:40 am PDT

thank you

Quote From: srndpty333

Shame prevents healing...the only way to get rid of shame is to talk about what you are ashamed of...you have to say it outloud to another person you trust...be it a pastor, priest, counsellor, therapist, good (trusted) friend, doctor, psychiatrist...anyone who you trust fully with what you need to say...if you are not ready to say it to another person...start by writing it down and even tear it up after you do if you want but get it outside of yourself.  The shame will be diluted and you will begin to heal.  Blessings... 

      I felt so good to this respose my hear is racing it does that a lot.I feel some what relived and very scaered with the chikd hood fears. of oh my god if someone new. Sometimes I tell my self you sicko then other times I see how at age maybe 4 what happened lead to a chain of events growing up. like my mom telling me to quite humpping the chouch or the pillow.  Around age 29 it all showed up I swear it's like I woke up and was 15 again. I remembered evey thing at once.. some of that went away for a while but slowly has come back...mostly daily panick steps in alot in my life..
 
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jane_holt
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September 14, 2005, 10:59 am PDT

Eveyday people close thire eyes

Quote From: srndpty333

Here's a pretty good link for anyone who doesn't understand the longterm effects of CSA if you want to try to understand... 

  

http://www.jimhopper.com/ 

     To know and not do is to not know.. I went to the link you posted and thank you because I think I am going to use it. I am an abused and abuser. And need to share my hopes and stringhts with people. To Chris and his family god loves us all make your amens now was the right thing to do. because one thing I have leared is that as children we do expriement and practice what was done to us. and other things we praticed on our siblings. And I'am a girl so not only boys are doing wrong but girls also......
 
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jane_holt
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September 20, 2005, 2:33 pm PDT

Self exceptince

     I over the last 2 weeks have had some days where I just cry at how one little thing could have caused me a lot of years of shame, guilt, fear, silents. and now I find out just how our lives are changed and how a chain of events can come out of it. molested at 4.5 then molested one of my 5 brothers and then in turn molested our little brother.. and there is more but the panicky has set in so I need to stop for now but will post more at a later date, see I found the more I can let go of the more I will grow, a little here a little there and then it is all out because, more because now I know I am not the only girl to know she molested her little bother.
 
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jane_holt
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September 20, 2005, 3:34 pm PDT

Think you are at the right area

Quote From: pawprint

  

  Why spend our adulthoods, hacking up our childhoods. Why contstantly talk about someone or something that happened when you were 6,7,8, when you are now 36,37,38. It doesnt effect the other person any. Theres nothing you can do about it now. You cant change the fact it happend. so whats the point of reliving it and reissuing it. Lifes to short  to sit in a negative pool. Do something  for your future, you cant turn back time and go to your past. 

     It seems to me you are in the wrong part of the mees broads? because I need what I have been getting ever since this topic aired,  When flash backs come out of nowhere.  I can be at a store and have them. it dose not matter where I am I have them all the time sometime it's a reaI Thoughts that comes whit those  images I still count how many kids I could hear outside. Now that Iam older It is easier to dael with. I really don't think you will understasnd.  But very glad you do not have those thoughts  and imags of being viloated. Bless you and have a good day.
 
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jane_holt
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February 8, 2006, 4:07 pm PST

you can live happy know doc loves you

Quote From: teebear

I agree too! My exact words! We must be on the same think wave...
  I live with bad eating habits also even though I work on not getting big my coleserale was bad I am only 47 but it was 246 for the bad part there is two parts over all add a few More numbers so I too have done bad not eating right.  you are so handsome hiding behind all that and man wait till you meet a nice girl .  See when you get older you find that people are here to find there purpose and you are going on that road to  find your true purpose. I will visit you on the broads again. blessing ma boy.
 
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jane_holt
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April 21, 2006, 3:25 pm PDT

regardless

   Look weather he wanted to be a dad and weather he wants to support a child or be in that child's life is up to him and the mom if he was there to help make it he should support it weather he wants to or not. you know not all women want to be mom's but they sure try a lot harder to be good mom's than men do. Men should be fixed at 12 and unfixed at 30
 
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jane_holt
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May 8, 2006, 5:13 pm PDT

I too am guilty

    I do not remember the names of the people on todays show  But I do know that the stick is gone by now I'm sure.  The reason I am posting today is because Dr Phil had a show last year that was also about a mothers rage and I am here today to tell everyone that show has changed me life to this day I have not held at my grand daughter like I had in the past if I am getting  the rage feeling I ask myself why are you being controlling to a toddler? and I ask myself what are you really upset about????????????? or mad sometimes I just need a break but really don't get one so now that she is older I have her help with the dishes or make jello jigglers.   Dr Phil my granddaughter thanks you very much. and I know you have changed that familys life forever.
 
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jane_holt
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May 9, 2006, 8:00 am PDT

Our kids will forgive and heal

Quote From: flagranny

I watched the show today and cried through the whole thing. I was a mother almost like the mother on todays show.  I was so unhappy after my marriage ended that I took it out on my 3 children.  I would hit them with my hand and a wooden paddle.  I was so sick.  I finally realized that what I was doing was wrong and sought out therepy.  It took me many years of therpy to find out what my problem was and stop the insanity.  I am sure if it would have happened today my children would have been taken away from me.   I regret to this day how I treated my children now in their 40's. and have apoligized to them many times.  I only hope and pray that they forgive me.  I pray that the mother on todays show uses the help that Dr. Phil has offered her and the children don't have to suffer anymore.   I also think that the father should take advantage of therepy too.....good luck to all.
    This show is to make folks aw ear that not all kids get the right help nor the parents   Like most of us we come around when  tragedy hits make friends with the people next door most of us need friends that are willing  to tell us how wrong our short comings are like .  Man why are you so mean to those little kids talk to them, tell your friends man I get so mad at my kids they drive me crazy. and so on.....   Stop trying to rush them out the door and making excuses. when its you running behind turn the TV off to make the house quieter.  To love makes your life easier.   To the mother and kids bless you all for sharing your story to the world and for those of you that are still doing these things to your kids don't be surprised when the cops show up, because the people next door start calling the cops on you when they hear you beating on your kids WAKE UP WORLD.
 
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