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I am in desperate need of some good advice for dealing with my son.  he is 4.5 & has a bad temper. When he doesn't get whats he wants or it'd time to leave somewhere, he throws a fit.  It's worse than any temper tantrum.  He hits me, bites me, yells at me & calls me names.  He throws things at me, slams doors & screams.  Since the day we brought him home from the hospital, he has been a pistol.  He screamed until 4am.  I have taught preschool for 5 years & I feel like such a failure with my own son.  I try time-outs & he won't sit still.  I have tried taking toys & special things away, it doesn't help.  We try talking it out & it doesn't help.  In extreme cases, we have given him spankings.  I am at my wits end.  If we are riding int he car & he is mad, he will u unbuckle his seat belt.  Today, we were invited to a friends House after pre-school for a play date.  When it was time to leave, he started throwing a fit.  I tried talking to him about it being time to come home.  I finally had to carry him out with out his shoes or socks on because i had to rush home to get my other son off the bus. As I was carrying him out he slapped me 2 times of the shoulder & once across the cheek.  at that point, I had mixed emotions.  I was sooooooo embarrassed at his behavior & I was angry with him.  I set him down in the driveway & opened the car door & he climbed in the truck.  It concerns me.  My husbands family has a history of clinical depression in his family.  His uncle committed suicide & his brother tried when he was 11.  I don't know if I am headed down that road or if I am doing something wrong.  I just don't know anymore.  Even with all my training & experience in early childhood education, I am confused.  HELP ME!!!!

Thanks for nothing.  I have an appointment with the pediatrician tommorrow, maybe they will help me!