Messages By: leasap23

Hello. It's good to hear from ya. I'm hardly ever able to check in either. Just so busy seems like all the time. I'm 24 today...hehe. Don't feel it.  

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers going out for Tela. The physical therapy is helping and the doctors say she should be dead or paralyzed so with such a quick recovery we are more than thankful.  

Yes, I short myself on my 1 smoke a day, but not in half...I will hit it usually about once or twice in the morning. Which I've never been big on a morning smoke. Then can't smoke at work, and after work I'll hit it once maybe twice again. And then put it out. Then finish it up after dinner at night. I have one of those smug things that will put your cig out for you so I've tricked myself into believing I'm getting every inch of nicotine available. Some mornings though I won't hit one and so I then have more for later after work and before I go to bed. It's hard, believe me! 

Hi there everyone. Wanted to say hello. We've hit our busy season at work and I have NO time for anything. How is everyone...Ann, Mario, Shelly, Tracey, Linda I miss you guys! I hope everyone is doing well. Hi to all the new comers. You know we've grown when ya logon and don't know but maybe one person posting. Stay strong everyone. My prayers are with you all.

Hey everybody, 

how is everyone? Glad to hear from ya Linda. Tell us like it is! That's what I needed, anyway. Thanks. 

Hi you guys. So, I guess I'm posting because I'm hoping something in my clouded brain will click. I'm a weed head. Flirted with other drugs but stuck with this one about 6 years. Even as I type I can't picture myself without it. But at the same time realize I have to. I work as a manager in a corporate office and I'm so much slower, dumber and less sharp than I once was. That I don't know I'll ever get back. Maybe if I quit NOW. But how? I know too it messes with my emotions SO bad. I cry alot and very easy. I'm snappy at times too which I don't think is my personality. I have gone so long not dealing with anything and just getting the muffled version of not only myself but the world, that I don't know me anymore. I wonder how different I would be and how far ahead I would be if I didn't have this to hold me back. I mean I know how far I've come with it so it's like man think of where I could be! How can I make my best friend less appealing? How do I cope with everyday bull and not turn to weed? What do I do? I feel totally helpless. Like it is controlling me instead of me controlling it. To the mom with an 18 year old who just found out he is smoking....even at 18 I wish SO bad my mom would have put her foot down. My dad had left 3 or 4 years before and she would allow me to do more than I should. One because I was a good manipulator but two because she trust me. It wasn't her fault and she had reason to believe what I told her. I'm 24 now, started smoking around 15, heavy by 16 or 17 and wish to GOD I had someone that would have stopped me years ago. Someone who could have said you can get addicted and you will if you don't quit now. I would definitly do what you can do to get him off it.

Hey there. Thanks alot for replying to my post. It was like a breathe of fresh air. I need someone with a clear mind to help direct me. Everyone around me, well I won't say everyone but the people I choose to surround myself are no help. None of them have any desire to quit. For me though this is the end of the line. I have a purpose and I feel this is what is keeping me from fulfilling that purpose. I want that control back, ya know. That feeling of thinking clearly and not phennin' or atleast thinking of it more than my priorities. So, here is my situation. I have been with my husband who also smokes, for 6 years. I started smoking when I was 16 and I'm now 24. My father in law lives with us too and guess what...smokes too. It's ALL around! So, I smoke when I get home and before bed. How do I overcome this? What do I tell myself to stop? I feel like I'm begging for help that I can't get. Like I have no motivation to stop. Which I obviously do or I wouldn't be here with you guys. So, how did you begin? HELP!